“You’d forget your head if it wasn’t glued on.”

“I heard things like, ‘Thank goodness she’s pretty because…'”

“The words were never as hurtful as the glares, the eye-rolling, and the silent treatment from family members who were constantly aggravated as I disrupted their peace.”

The messages that ADDitude readers have been subjected to about themselves and their neurodivergence would be shocking if they weren’t so ubiquitous. Sadly, their experiences mirror what we know about living with ADHD — that criticism is common and greatly reduces self-worth.

Words hurt, but ADDitudereaders also attest that the right ones can empower and heal. Read on to learn about the most frustrating messages our readers heard about themselves, and the messages and actions — from themselves and from others — that uplifted them and corrected the narrative.

[Read: “I’m Way Too Hard on Myself”]

“‘Why can’t you just [insert thing here]?’ I felt frustrated because I didn’t understand either! I didn’t understand why I couldn’t just do the thing that needed to be done. My mom would say, ‘Put out the fires at your feet first.’ You can’t just put out a whole forest fire at once. You need to start from where you’re at. It helped when I would feel overwhelmed. My mom would also quote Rollie Pollie Ollie: ‘Do the best you can because that’s the best you can do.’ It reminded me that I can’t expect more of myself than I’m able to give. Whatever I am able to do is good enough.” — Ella, Canada

“Any pointed comments about me being lazy or seeing others get exasperated with me to the point of sharp frustration or tears made me feel like something was wrong with me. Now that I understand why, it’s been helpful to mitigate my inner negativity, but I still have ways to go. What I’ve found helpful is finding people who coach and guide me without judgement — like when others tell me that they understand what I’m dealing with (e.g., hard time getting into the work or being easily frustrated).” — Jono, Canada

“I was ‘too much.’ My mom always told me it was OK if some things take me longer, at least I was getting them right.” — Megan, Utah

“I was told that I was dramatic, overly sensitive, impolite, lazy. My self-esteem is beginning to recover, but I still easily slip into berating myself. Being told that I was compassionate, gifted, and intelligent made me feel better about myself. I still hold on to these compliments.” — Ayanna, California

[Read: The ADHD Myths That Hurt Us Most]

“If I hadn’t been mentored by my college professor, I don’t know where I would be now. Her message, without any kind of sweetness, was that I was of great value.” — Jean, Michigan

“It didn’t matter what the specific words or situations were. The message was that I, me, myself, was wrong. The uplifting messages I got were from people I respected and who saw my abilities or efforts. It took awhile to see and hear them, and sometimes I thought they were negative. I also find a lot of lift in reading sports interviews. Athletes work through self-doubt far better than I have ever done.” — Jen, Massachusetts

“I was told that I was lazy and that I would succeed if I just put more effort in. I felt dumb and incapable. The most helpful support and feedback was given to me about other strengths: social skills, creativity, generosity, kindness. I felt seen in my musical abilities even though these were often non-traditional.” — An ADDitude Reader

“Worst messages: You are lazy. You are too combative. You are too loud and intimidating. You don’t know when to shut up. You are a know-it-all. You are disruptive and too much. Best messages: I love your honest and straightforward way. I know you won’t ever lie to me and that you always have my best interests in mind. You are the most caring and empathetic person I have ever met. You’ve changed my life. You always have such a unique perspective. I love how creative you are. You are inspiring. You should be a motivational speaker. These words made me feel seen and understood. That I could really make a difference and that my life has purpose. Like I could do anything.” — Carmen, Germany

“You think too much. You over-analyze. You dream too big. You focus on small details. You are too organized or structured for this fast-paced environment. You document too much. You talk too much. You schmooze too much. These are all skills that came in handy when I began working as a technical sales person. I had a boss recognize I was a people-person and had a way of organizing chaos. He made it known that what I perceived as my flaws, were actually my strengths.” — An ADDitude Reader

“You’re really smart but you’re not living up to your potential. You’re lazy. You don’t listen. You’re a terrible student. You can’t sit still. Stop making excuses for doing so poorly in school and start applying yourself. Those messages made me feel frustrated, angry, self-conscious, and disappointed in myself. I had a fifth-grade teacher who recognized I was a talented writer, and regularly encouraged me to keep developing my skills. Another English teacher also recognized my talents and made me feel like I was smarter than my parents and other teachers gave me credit for.” — Tom, Colorado

ADHD and Self-Esteem: Next Steps

• Read: “How Rewriting the Past Can Help You Overcome ADHD Shame”
• Read: Your Inner Critic Is Sabotaging Your Efforts. Mute It.
• Read: “‘The Bright Underachiever:’ Cruelties I Heard Growing Up with Undiagnosed ADHD”

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But people pleasing, as I and others with ADHD know, often results in little more than broken promises — to others, and to ourselves. People-pleasing behaviors like failing to set boundaries, readily assuming blame, and being overly agreeable for validation’s sake lead to unmet goals, dissatisfaction, burnout, and resentment.

What finally helped me address people-pleasing behaviors was a powerful reframe: I’m not pleasing people; I’m abandoning myself.

[Read: Self-Sabotage and ADHD — Are You Your Own Worst Enemy?]

It hit hard when I thought of how many times I’ve abandoned myself across my life, but I let this realization propel me to do better for myself.

How to Stop Abandoning Yourself

It takes time to unlearn people-pleasing tendencies. Start by asking yourself one question the next time you face a potential commitment: Does the activity nurture or drain my energy?

Depersonalize your response and try not to assign morality to the situation. Say your child’s school asks for volunteers to organize a bake sale. Instead of thinking, “I should volunteer because that’s what good parents do,” think of what it would require of you. Would you be able to volunteer and preserve enough energy to attend to your and your family’s needs at home?

As you set a boundary, remember that you can attend to activities in ways that meet your energy needs and values. The bake sale may be draining this time, but perhaps you can donate a store-brought treat to the event.

People Pleasing and ADHD: Next Steps

• Read: You Are Enough — How to Counteract ADHD Imposter Syndrome
• Read: When Perfectionism Stems from ADHD
  
• Read: 7 Self-Defeating Behaviors That Aggravate ADHD

This article was derived from the ADDitude ADHD Experts Webinar, “How to Accomplish Your 2026 Goals — One Day at a Time” with Caren Magill. Caren is an ADHD coach, entrepreneur, and YouTube creator.

SUPPORT ADDITUDE
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Better yet, I learned that she’s really open about her diagnosis. She told ESPN: “I have ADHD, and I love situations that I’m not expecting. It gives me a dopamine rush.”

Liu does have a slightly chaotic ADHD vibe. She’s rarely sitting still. She can appear charmingly clueless — like after her win, when she wandered off, just to be reminded that she needed to go get her medal. She says and does what she wants, even when it seems unexpected or a little silly. She cracks jokes at press conferences. She screamed, “Now that’s what I’m f*ckin’ talking about!” into the camera after her win. (It has since become a meme). She cheers for her fellow skaters.

In short, Liu is everything I was told NOT to be as a neurodivergent athlete myself.

Like Liu, I have ADHD and am a figure skater. Unlike her, I am not an Olympic champion, have never done a quadruple lutz (although I have done a double), and don’t have the guts to color my hair or pierce my frenulum. (I cried when I got my ears pierced.)

[Read: Olympians, Professional Athletes, and Sports Legends with ADHD]

But like Liu, I also had an interesting journey to understanding my ADHD.

Liu got evaluated for ADHD when she realized she had 145 unfinished homework assignments in her final year of high school. She struggled with procrastination, and like many of us, needs novelty and challenge to focus.

I was diagnosed at 11, promptly forgot (I didn’t take meds, for various reasons), and was re-diagnosed 20 years later when I erroneously sought diagnosis and treatment for OCD. (A path so many women with ADHD walk).

Like everyone else, I felt the joy when Liu skated at the Olympics. I was perhaps more invested because I’d interviewed her when she first burst on the Junior scene — a tiny 13-year-old who had the hopes and dreams of the skating community resting on her petite shoulders.

Her Olympic win is even more impressive when you learn her backstory: she retired at 16 after a disappointing sixth-place finish at the 2022 Olympics, took two years off, climbed Mount Everest, and still came back to claim not only Olympic gold but also the World title in 2025.

She quit because she couldn’t stand the pressure anymore. She didn’t like feeling like a “puppet.” And she really didn’t like not making her own choices about not just her skating, but her life.

Liu came back because she missed the adrenaline rush, and skating again was fun. But with one caveat: everything — music, costumes, diet, training — would be on her terms.

And that turned out to be the missing link. By giving herself accommodations and taking control of her life, Liu showed us all what can happen when we choose to do things our way, not the neurotypical way.

What Alysa Liu’s Burnout Can Teach High-Functioning ADHD Women

Many high-functioning ADHD girls and women (perhaps including Liu) never get diagnosed or get diagnosed later in life because they appear to be doing more than fine. They excel in academics. They dominate in sports. They pour themselves into whatever captures their hyperfocus. From the outside, everything looks great. But inside, they’re floundering.

In highly controlled environments — like elite figure skating — this can feel even more suffocating. The constant pressure to perform, conform, and comply collides with a brain that craves autonomy and novelty.

There’s also a prevailing narrative in sport that struggle equals growth. That discipline is the price of success. It looks like logging hours on the ice while your mind is quietly collapsing. It’s denying your own wants and needs so you don’t let anyone down.

I lived this. I wasn’t an Olympian, but I was a competitive figure skater for over 20 years. I was surrounded by Olympians who coached and trained alongside me, and I spent years wondering why I couldn’t just commit, work harder, and do what they did. My perfectionism made me walk away at 18. Though I returned to the sport, like Liu, and saw moments when I stopped performing neurotypically, I still burned out — a decision my body made for me.

What I admire most about Liu is that she didn’t wait for that. She chose to walk away before it broke her — and chose to come back only when she could do it on her own terms. She didn’t try to fit back into the old system. She built a new one.

Alysa Liu Is the Role Model I Didn’t Know I Needed

To be fair, Alysa isn’t the only athlete to open up about their mental health. But the way she talks about ADHD — openly celebrating it — is refreshing.

In a sport that has historically prized tight control over bodies, speech, and appearance, that’s revelatory. It makes her a figure skating icon for a whole new generation — one that makes its own rules and celebrates its own individuality.

ADHD brains like ours aren’t wired for obligation. We need careers and pursuits that are novel, that bring new challenges, that keep us guessing. That’s why so many athletes, entrepreneurs, and creatives are neurodivergent — we thrive on the unknown.

But when those pursuits become routine, we lose interest fast. It starts feeling like slogging uphill, with burnout at the summit.

This is almost certainly where Liu ended up before her retirement. So she left. And when she came back, she made sure joy came first.

And while most of us will never win an Olympic medal, we can learn from how she got there. We can find ways to accommodate ourselves. We can be honest and authentic instead of performing what we think people want. We can ask for help. We can honor our own process — the wandering attention, the scattered practices, the FaceTime calls mid-warmup — and trust that when our energy is ready, it will show up.

The biggest lessons we can learn from Liu: Be yourself. Do what you need to do for you. Follow your interests, because that’s where your success lies.
Maybe the only thing we need to change is what we lead with.
Alysa led with joy. And she won.

Christie Sausa, MS, is a dual-sport neurodivergent athlete who writes the Not Your Average Athlete blog.

Athletes with ADHD: More from ADDitude

• Read: Sports Psychology Tricks That Work for ADHD Brains
• Read: “Maybe I’m Not Just Thoroughly Messed Up” Olympian Molly Seidel On Her Late ADHD Diagnosis
• Read: How Swimming Saved Michael Phelps

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Thank you for reading ADDitude. To support our mission of providing ADHD education and support, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our content and outreach possible. Thank you.

Reserve your spot in this free webinar, and get the event replay link plus a 15% discount to ADDitude magazine

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ADHD is not a disorder of willpower; it is a condition of dysregulation. Decades of neurobiological research demonstrate that altered signaling in key neurotransmitter systems — particularly dopamine, norepinephrine, and serotonin — contribute to the core features of ADHD. These chemical messengers in the brain shape how we focus, prioritize, feel motivated, regulate emotions, and experience reward.

Dopamine is central to motivation, pleasure, reward processing, and goal-directed behavior. When dopamine signaling is adequate, individuals feel calm, satisfied, and capable of sustained engagement. When dopamine tone is reduced or dysregulated, as often observed in ADHD, the brain compensates by seeking novelty, urgency, or high stimulation. This contributes to distractibility, procrastination on mundane tasks, and the pursuit of immediate rewards over long-term goals.

Norepinephrine supports sustained attention, executive functioning, working memory, and impulse control. In the prefrontal cortex, the brain’s executive control center, dopamine and norepinephrine work together to optimize cognitive performance. When these systems are underactive, individuals may experience task initiation difficulties, emotional reactivity, sensory overwhelm, and mental fatigue.

While not traditionally viewed as a “core” ADHD neurotransmitter, serotonin plays a critical modulatory role in mood, sleep, emotional stability, and behavioral inhibition. Serotonergic imbalance can amplify irritability, anxiety, mood swings, impulsivity, and sleep disturbance, complicating the ADHD clinical picture.

In this engaging and scientifically grounded webinar, you will learn:

• About the neurochemical basis for ADHD and understand what is beneath the surface of symptoms
• How ADHD brains differ structurally and functionally from neurotypical brains, including altered activity in the prefrontal cortex, differences in reward circuitry, variations in cortical maturation and connectivity, and dysregulation within the networks that aid cognitive control
• Gain insight into how these neural systems interact dynamically, and how neurotransmitter balance influences real-world behavior
• How excess hormones and neurotransmitters can lead to over arousal, anxiety, and irritability while insufficient signaling affects executive function, procrastination and motivation
• How serotonin modulates emotional regulation, impulsivity, and sleep stability, with clinical examples to illustrate how neurochemical dysregulation translates to everyday functional difficulties

About evidence-based interventions and how they restore brain function, including:

• Stimulant medications that enhance dopamine and norepinephrine signaling
• Traditional non-stimulant treatments that target norepinephrine
• New and novel nonstimulants that modulate serotonin
• Behavioral interventions that leverage reward systems
• Sleep, exercise, and lifestyle strategies that support neurotransmitter balance

Have a question for our expert? There will be an opportunity to post questions for the presenter during the live webinar.

Webinar Sponsor

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ADDitude thanks our sponsors for supporting our webinars. Sponsorship has no influence on speaker selection or webinar content.

ADHD & Brain Health: Resources

• • • Free Download: Unraveling the Mysteries of Your ADHD Brain
    • Read: ADHD Neuroscience 101
    • Read: Everything You Never Knew About the ADHD Brain
    • Read: Using a Dopamine Menu to Stimulate Your ADHD Brain
      
      

Meet the Expert Speaker

Gregory W. Mattingly, M.D., has been a psychopharmacology Instructor for more than 20 years at The Washington University School of Medicine in St. Louis, Missouri. He earned his medical degree and residency at Washington University, where he received a Fulbright Scholarship. Dr. Mattingly has been a principal investigator in more than 500 clinical trials and his research has been published in numerous national and international journals. He is the CMO for ACCUMIN Neuroscience, a research insights and analytics company. In addition to his clinical and research practice, Dr. Mattingly has worked as a mental health consultant and evaluator for both the National Football League and Major League Baseball. Dr. Mattingly is the Past President for the American Professional Society of ADHD and Related Disorders, serves on the Scientific Program Committee for the World Federation for ADHD and is Co-Chair for the U.S. Psych Congress.

Certificate of Attendance: For information on how to purchase the certificate of attendance option (cost $10), register for the webinar, then look for instructions in the email you’ll receive one hour after it ends. The certificate of attendance link will also be available here, on the webinar replay page, several hours after the live webinar. ADDitude does not offer CEU credits.

Closed captions available.

A staggering 78% of ADDitude readers say they’ve been gaslit by a provider, according to a poll of 194 respondents conducted during a February 2026 webinar with Jennifer Fraser, Ph.D., titled “Medical Gaslighting: When Willful Ignorance Causes Doctors to Dismiss Your ADHD Concerns.”

Is there a difference between gaslighting and provider ignorance? What makes people with ADHD susceptible to gaslighting? It is possible to resist gaslighting and heal from past experiences of self-doubt?

Fraser addressed these questions in her webinar and provided evidence-based strategies to protect from future gaslighting while healing from past dismissals. Whether you’re seeking an ADHD diagnosis or advocating for better treatment, these three takeaways will help you find your voice at the doctor’s office.

1. Whether It’s Gaslighting or Ineffectiveness, the Result Is the Same

One definition of gaslighting says it is a form of psychological or emotional abuse that involves lying, manipulation, and challenging a person’s reality to gain control over them. Another says it is the act or practice of grossly misleading someone, especially for one’s own advantage.

These definitions suggest that not every dismissive doctor is engaging in intentional gaslighting. Many physicians are unfamiliar with new ADHD research, including studies about how it presents in historically overlooked populations (e.g., women, people of color, older adults). Still, the damage may be done regardless of intent.

“Regardless of whether the gaslighting is intentional or you are being misdiagnosed… it still is going to make you feel off-kilter,” Fraser explained. “It’s going to make you question yourself, question your own reality.”

That said, a doctor who lacks knowledge but remains curious can become a partner in your care.

2. ADHD Creates Unique Vulnerabilities to Gaslighting

People with ADHD often arrive at a doctor’s office already questioning their reality. Negative messaging around their symptoms — often misinterpreted by others as character flaws — and pressure to adhere to neurotypical standards of functioning create deep self-doubt. When a doctor questions a patient’s story or suggests that what they believe to be ADHD symptoms are actually depression, anxiety, or something else, it compounds self-doubt.

Women may be especially susceptible to medical gaslighting, as science has historically focused on male bodies, leaving providers with significant knowledge gaps. Women also tend to mask symptoms, and are frequently told they can’t have ADHD because they weren’t diagnosed as children or they’re “too successful” to have it.

3. You Can Protect Yourself from Gaslighting

From sharpening your senses to learning to trust your gut, you can train your malleable brain to resist gaslighting through daily practice, Fraser said. To help you learn to trust your gut, for example, you can develop your emotional vocabulary, which will help you articulate your experiences with more precision.

To learn more about how to spot gaslighting, defend against it, and effectively advocate for yourself, watch the full webinar at additu.de/022426.

Medical Gaslighting and ADHD: Resources

• Free Download: How to Talk to Your Doctor About Medical Research
• Read: “Medical Gaslighting Convinced Me That I Didn’t Have ADHD”
• Read: A Clinicians’ Guide to Better Patient Communication

SUPPORT ADDITUDE
Thank you for reading ADDitude. To support our mission of providing ADHD education and support, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our content and outreach possible. Thank you.

ADHD traits in childhood predict physical health problems in midlife, but early exercise interventions may offset this risk, suggest two new studies.

A cohort study of 10,930 participants published in JAMA found that adults with severe childhood ADHD traits had more physical health problems and greater physical health-related disability by age 46 compared to those with less severe ADHD symptoms by age 10.¹

The researchers reported that 42.1% of participants with higher ADHD traits in childhood developed multimorbidity (two or more co-occurring physical health conditions) by age 46. In comparison, just 37.5% of participants with fewer ADHD traits experienced the same health outcomes. Notably, the link between ADHD traits and physical health-related disability appeared much larger in women than it did in men.

Cumulative exposure to health risk factors, such as smoking, alcohol use, psychological distress, low educational attainment, and high body mass index, explains part of the association between ADHD, multimorbidity, and physical disability. However, the researchers emphasized that the direct association between ADHD and physical health outcomes remained significant.

“Clinicians should be aware of the increased rates of physical health problems and associated disability in people with ADHD and should proactively address potential contributing health risk factors,” they wrote. “Integrated interventions addressing mental health, physical health, and key health risk factors may help to reduce chronic conditions in this population.”

The JAMA study analyzed data from the population-based 1970 British Cohort Study, which included people born in England, Scotland, and Wales during the same week in 1970, with follow-up data collected over 46 years.

Increased Mortality Risk for People with ADHD

Untreated physical health problems and co-occurring conditions could reduce the life expectancy of people with ADHD at a higher rate than seen in the general population. A January 2025 study published in The British Journal of Psychiatry comparing the mortality rates of people diagnosed with ADHD to people without ADHD found that the life expectancy for women with ADHD is 8.6 years shorter than that of women without ADHD, while the life expectancy of men with ADHD is 6.8 years shorter. ²

“Adults with diagnosed ADHD are living shorter lives than they should,” the study’s authors wrote. “We believe that is likely caused by modifiable risk factors and unmet support and treatment needs in terms of both ADHD and co-occurring mental and physical health conditions.”

Exercise Interventions Improve Long-Term Mental Health

A 2023 treatment survey of 11,000 ADDitude readers reported positive benefits of exercise. About half of the respondents who exercise regularly rate this ADHD treatment as “extremely” or “very” effective. A staggering 94% of caregivers and 95% of adults recommend exercise to treat ADHD symptoms. However, only 13% said a doctor had recommended exercise to reduce symptoms, and just 37% said physical activity was part of their treatment plan.

“When I get into a good stride with routine exercise, it almost always goes hand-in-hand with better eating habits, better focus, energy levels, mental clarity, and stronger relationships and productivity,” said one adult with ADHD. “Exercise is undoubtedly a crucial piece of the (treatment) puzzle.”

“Depression can really take hold of my 10-year-old son,” one parent said. “We see great improvements after physical activity. He enjoys the elliptical, rower, spin bikes, automatic stepper, and treadmill.”

A new meta-analysis including 18 studies further explores the potential of exercise as an effective adjunctive approach for improving mental health in individuals with ADHD when it is integrated into a multimodal treatment plan that includes pharmacotherapy, behavioral therapy, or psychoeducation.
Exercise interventions produced small-to-moderate improvements in depressive symptoms, anxiety, and emotion regulation in individuals with ADHD, according to the study published in Frontiers in Psychology.

Mind-body integrated exercises, such as yoga and tai chi, significantly improved both depression and anxiety symptoms compared to physical exercises (e.g., structured fitness or sports without a mindfulness component), which did not show significant improvements across outcomes.

The researchers suggest that this advantage may stem from the “mind-body integration” of activities like yoga. By combining physical movement with breath awareness, focused attention, and present-moment acceptance, mind-body exercises directly target emotional dysregulation and attentional control, which are core components of ADHD.

Results from the meta-analysis found that adolescents with anxiety who practiced mind-body exercises experienced the greatest improvements. While children showed moderate improvement, the results were not statistically significant. These discrepancies could be due to developmental differences: Adolescents may be better able to engage with and benefit from the psychological components of exercise, while younger children may require more play-based or gamified approaches.

In addition, the most statistically significant reduction in depressive symptoms occurred from moderate-intensity exercise, whereas low-intensity and high-intensity exercises did not demonstrate measurable benefits for depression, anxiety, or emotion regulation.

While intervention length varied widely (from single sessions to 20-week programs), with no clear differences emerging across durations, single sessions demonstrated immediate short-term anxiety-reducing effects. However, to sustain benefits, longer-term participation may be necessary, the researchers suggest.

They emphasized that the study’s overall findings should be viewed as hypothesis-generating rather than definitive. “Because study designs and exercise protocols varied considerably, the results should be interpreted cautiously, and more rigorous research is needed before definitive clinical guidelines can be established,” they wrote.

Sources

¹Stott, J., O’Nions, E., Corrigan, L., Cotton, J., Donnellan, W.J., et al. (2026). Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder Traits in Childhood and Physical Health in Midlife. JAMA Netw Open. https://doi.org/10.1001/jamanetworkopen.2025.54802

²O’Nions, E., El Baou, C., John, A., Lewer, D., Mandy, W., McKechnie, D.G.J. et al. (2025). Life expectancy and years of life lost for adults with diagnosed ADHD in the UK: matched cohort study. The British Journal of Psychiatry. https://doi.org/10.1192/bjp.2024.199

³Shenning, Z., Yaoqi, H., Wenying, S., and Xiangqin, S. (2026). The effect of exercise interventions on mental health in children and adolescents with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder: a meta-analysis. Front. Psychol. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2026.1748777

I felt out of control around certain foods and completely uninterested in others. I chased diets, lost and gained hundreds of pounds, and eventually landed in eating disorder treatment as an adult for atypical anorexia and binge-eating disorder. (I can’t be classically diagnosed with anorexia because I live in a large body, even when I am in a calorie deficit)

Convinced I was the problem, I blamed myself for what I now understand was my nervous system desperately trying to regulate itself.

Chasing Dopamine

One day in eating disorder treatment, a clinician noticed that I was adding chips to the inside of my sandwich, something I had been doing for as long as I could remember. When she asked me why I did that, my response was simple: “I like my food to crunch.”

But I didn’t just like the crunch. I needed it. Chips. Crackers. Extra crunchy bacon. Anything with resistance. Anything loud. Anything that gave my brain a sharp sensory hit.

[Read: The ADHD-Eating Disorders Link]

The truth is that crunchy things ground me. The crunch focuses me and cuts through the constant chitchat in my brain in a way soft foods never could.

That’s when it clicked. For the first time, I began to see that my eating behaviors weren’t just about taste or hunger. My “out-of-control eating” wasn’t an issue of willpower; it was partly sensory-seeking behavior, a well-documented ADHD trait.

My Eating Disorder Is About More Than Food

People with ADHD are significantly more likely to develop eating disorders, especially binge eating disorder and anorexia. Dopamine is thought to play a role in that connection. As ADHD brains like mine are chronically low in dopamine — which we all need for motivation, pleasure, and focus — we are wired to seek stimulation. And food just happens to be fast, legal, and always available.

ADHD symptoms explain much more than the sensory-seeking aspect of my eating behaviors. Hyperfocus means I can forget to eat for extended periods. Poor interoceptive awareness means I can’t reliably feel hunger or fullness. Emotional dysregulation means feelings hit hard and fast, and food becomes the farthest thing from my mind.

So it’s not that I lack self-control. I’m chasing dopamine. And I realized that recovery from disordered eating is going to be so much harder for me and my neurospicy brain.

In treatment, I also learned that my eating disorder had very little to do with food and everything to do with coping. Control, dopamine, sensory input, grief, trauma; my brain needed more support than it was ever given.

Traditional eating disorder advice assumes a neurotypical brain: Just eat regularly and plan ahead. Listen to your body. But for someone with ADHD, this advice feels impossible. I know, as I spent decades believing I was failing my body. Shame rushes in when we fail to follow through, which only adds fuel to the eating disorder.

Recovery That Honors My Brain

Recovery, for me, doesn’t come from rigid meal plans or white-knuckling urges. It comes from understanding my ADHD and working with it instead of against it. It comes from building structures without punishment, allowing sensory accommodations without shame, and learning that “healthy” does not always equal small.

If you have ADHD and struggle with food, you are not broken. You are not weak. You are not doing recovery wrong. You are neurodivergent in a world (and in a treatment system) that still doesn’t fully understand how our brains work.

Understanding the connection between ADHD and eating disorders didn’t erase my past, but it gave me language and a framework for my brain and body that finally allowed me to begin healing.

Eating Disorders and ADHD: Next Steps

• New Resource: From the Editors of ADDitude… Embody!
• Free Download: The Eating Disorders Associated with ADHD
• Read: How ADHD and Eating Disorders Overlap
• Read: Build a Better Relationship with Food to Benefit Your Brain

SUPPORT ADDITUDE
Thank you for reading ADDitude. To support our mission of providing ADHD education and support, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our content and outreach possible. Thank you.

Many autistic people hear this as they get to know their true selves better and intentionally begin to unmask. This observation is often followed by the equally unhelpful, “You used to be able to do it; why can’t you do it now?”

In the process of unmasking, some neurodivergent people experience “skill regression.” This is the term many clinicians use when a person with autism and/or ADHD suddenly has trouble with routine tasks like self-care, attending events they once seemed to enjoy, or managing executive functions like time management. The term skill regression, however, is quite pathologizing and a bit misleading.

[Take This Self-Test: Signs of Autism in Women]

Why ‘Skill Regression’ Is a Misleading Term

When I was in college, I went for a hike in the woods by myself and fell, rolling my ankle. It stung but held my weight, so I walked the rest of the way back. As soon as I got home and sat down, I couldn’t get up again. It’s not that the pain suddenly hit at home, but that I pushed myself past my limits, ignoring the pain until it was safe to acknowledge it.

When someone is high-masking, they exert a lot of energy presenting as neurotypical. Masking your authentic self involves disregarding your own needs, sensory sensitivities, and communication style to meet society’s expectations. A big part of unmasking is getting back in touch with these needs and recognizing the unhealthy or even unsafe ways you have overextended yourself.

In other words, it is misleading to call this a skill regression. I prefer to say that the individual has recognized their limits and begun to honor them. If you are in the process of unmasking, you may notice that some previously palatable situations and tasks now seem exhausting or even impossible. In my case, I realized how overwhelming I found my in-person office setting. Spending 40 hours in that setting was suddenly unsustainable. Learning what is sustainable has helped me discover hidden strengths and capabilities.

If someone you love seems to be experiencing skill regression, please be patient with them. Know that they are not trying to give you a hard time; rather, they are getting to know themselves better. If they trust you enough to show you how they are struggling, recognize that this is an honor. They feel safe telling you about their needs and newly identified limitations. Support them and encourage them to be honest and open about all of it.

Unmasking in Autism and ADHD: Next Steps

• Free Download: The Guide to Autism in Adults
  
• Read: 10 Steps to Unmasking Your ADHD
• Read: “I Thought I Sucked at Life. But I Was High-Masking Autism All Along.”
• Watch: “Understanding AuDHD Burnout: How Neurodivergent Masking Sparks Stress, Exhaustion”

Amy Marschall, Psy.D., is a licensed psychologist, author, and speaker.

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These results align with research that has found about 80% of people with ADHD have a delayed circadian clock.

Jamie M. Zeitzer, Ph.D., a circadian rhythm researcher at Stanford University, revealed how ADHD creates a cycle that weakens your body’s internal clock and worsens sleep problems over time, in his February 2026 ADDitude webinar. The event, titled “How Your Circadian Rhythm Shapes Energy, Focus, Productivity, and Cognitive Functioning,” offered these five insights that could transform your sleep.

1. Your Body Has Multiple Circadian Clocks

Every living organism on Earth has a 24-hour clock that predicts changes in the environment. While most of us think of circadian rhythm as a single internal clock, we actually have clocks throughout our bodies. Muscle clocks, for example, anticipate exercise timing. Gut clocks prepare for meals. The central circadian clock, located in the brain, also acts as a conductor that keeps all our peripheral clocks aligned.

But the circadian clock is most known for its role in regulating sleep-wake cycles. It determines when we sleep and how consolidated our sleep is. We’re naturally programmed to be awake for 16 hours and sleep the remaining 8, Zeitzer said, but ADHD can complicate this.

[Read: The Under-Recognized Impact of Delayed Sleep Phase Syndrome in ADHD]

2. The ADHD Doom Loop Weakens the Circadian Clock

Many people with ADHD fall into what Zeitzer calls a “doom loop.” It starts with erratic sleep schedules — going to bed at 11 p.m. one night, 2 a.m. the next, 4 a.m. another night. Insomnia, ADHD medication, co-occurring conditions, or ADHD itself may contribute to inconsistent schedules. Regardless, when you’re awake late, you’re also probably exposed to some sort of light (like that from a television or phone).

“Light is the main way the internal clock remains synchronized with the external world,” Zeitzer said. “When you’re exposed to light, you’re not only changing the time of the clock, but the amplitude of the clock or how strong the clock is as well. So, when you have erratic light schedules coupled with erratic sleep schedules, you get a weaker circadian clock.”

A weak circadian clock makes it harder to stay awake during the day, leading to daytime exhaustion and naps. These naps make it harder to sleep at night, which makes you more tired the next day, leading to more naps — and the doom loop continues. The consequences extend beyond fatigue. Long-term sleep deprivation is associated with increased emotional instability, greater susceptibility to infectious disease, and higher risk of depression.

While practicing regular sleep-wake times is the ideal way to regulate a circadian clock, incremental improvements can help, too. Aim for at least 7 hours of sleep per night a few nights a week. Sleep with your window shades open so sunlight hits your eyelids in the morning (even as you sleep).

3. Insomnia Doesn’t Just Mean Inadequate Sleep

About 44% of people with ADHD have insomnia. But contrary to popular belief, insomnia isn’t just about inadequate sleep. The clinical definition requires difficulty initiating, maintaining, or reinitiating sleep at least three times per week for three months, with adequate opportunity to sleep, and significant daytime distress or impairment.

[Read: How to Fall Asleep with a Rowdy, Racing ADHD Brain]

“If it takes you 30 minutes to fall asleep and it doesn’t bother you, that’s not insomnia,” Zeitzer explained. “If it takes you five minutes to fall asleep but it bothers you, that’s insomnia.”

The first-line treatment is cognitive behavioral therapy for insomnia (CBT-I), which works not by changing sleep patterns but by changing your mindset about sleep. “Pay attention to your sleep, but not too much,” Zeitzer said. “The only thing worse than not getting a good night of sleep is not getting a good night of sleep and being anxious about it.”

4. Device Use at Night Invariably Impacts Sleep. But It’s Not About Blue Light.

You’ve probably heard that blue light from screens disrupts sleep. While technically true, the light from devices is not the only culprit.

When you watch a show on Netflix and you get addicted to it, you stay up late at night. “We’re competing with sleep,” Netflix CEO Reed Hastings admitted in a corporate earnings call. These platforms are engineered to keep your eyes on the screen, not closed in bed.

Ideally, devices should be kept out of bedrooms. If that’s not feasible, aim for bright light exposure in the afternoon, which changes how your brain responds to evening light exposure. If you use devices at night for relaxation, choose content that’s less engaging — boring enough to help you wind down. And try to be mindful of the fact that apps and platforms are designed to trigger an elevated emotional state, which impacts sleep.

5. Eating Too Close to Bedtime Affects Sleep

Eating during your “biological night” — when your circadian clock signals that it’s time to sleep — interferes with sleep. What’s more, your body doesn’t process food well at night. Being awake at night when you’re supposed to be sleeping also triggers the release of a thyroid-stimulating hormone, which signals your body to increase energy intake dramatically. It causes you to crave high-calorie foods and overestimate how much you actually need.

“Your body’s trying to help you out,” Zeitzer said. “It thinks something must be chasing you, so it gets you more glucose and fat right now.”

Circadian Rhythm, ADHD, and Sleep: Additional Resources

• Self-Test: Could You Have Delayed Sleep Phase Disorder?
• Free Download: How to Sleep Better with ADHD
• Read: ADHD Is the Disorder That Never Sleeps
• Read: Never-Never-Ever Land — Why ADHD Ruins Sleep

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Movement and dance engage and align disparate neural regions — sensory and motor, cognitive and creative, social and emotional — resulting in a synchronized brain that works more smoothly and efficiently. The mind-body benefits of dance matter greatly in the context of autism and ADHD — forms of neurodivergence linked to differences in neural connectivity, functioning, and social interaction.

The Science of Movement

Dance and related practices — even a single movement session — spark myriad effects that are important for neurodivergent minds and bodies:

Coordination

Learning complex choreography, twirling on one leg, or improvising to a favorite song all recruit and strengthen motor skills, even in people with developmental coordination disorder — common in autism and ADHD. Dance also improves one’s ability to tune in to internal bodily signals and sense the body’s position in space.

Neurotransmitter Flutter

Dance stimulates the production of dopamine, serotonin, and norepinephrine — neurotransmitters implicated in motivation, attention, coordination, stress, and mood that often behave differently in neurodivergent brains.

[Watch: Movement As Medicine – How Music, Movement, and Dance Transform the Neurodivergent Brain]

Mind Bending

Dance is a mental workout. Moving the body generates activity in neural regions associated with cognition and executive functioning. Notably, dance can improve a person’s ability to adapt to changing situations and think about things differently, which may offset rigid thinking in autistic individuals. It is also associated with better learning and neuroplasticity.

Flow State

Experienced dancers slip into theta brain wave states, which are associated with heightened creativity and divergent thinking, more readily than do novice dancers, according to a study.

Mood Boost

Beyond neurobiological effects, dance provides an outlet for expression, alleviates depression and anxiety, and boosts emotional resilience, research shows.

[Read: The ADHD Playlist Prescription]

Ultimately, dance enhances the coordination of neural activity that allows different parts of the brain to “talk” to each other more seamlessly. This state may help regulate the atypical brain activity and connectivity commonly seen in neurodivergent individuals.

Dance Eases Social Stress

When we slow dance with a partner or rehearse with a troupe, our brains begin to coordinate rhythmically with the partner or the group. That is, dance enhances inter-brain synchrony, a phenomenon of social interactions that leads to deeper connection and collaboration.

For its role in stimulating social elements of the brain, dance is a promising tool for supporting autistic individuals. Indeed, my research team observed significant inter-brain synchrony among autistic children and adults who engaged in an eight-week musical theater program. Parents reported that their children showed lower levels of social phobia and separation anxiety after the program. Participants and parents also described brighter moods, higher self-esteem, and a stronger sense of belonging — factors that strengthen mental health.

All dance styles and forms of movement are healthy but revisiting the movement patterns illustrated below — innate to human development and codified in dance styles across the world — can reinforce brain-body connections and improve wellbeing. Neurodivergent dancers may reap particular benefit from practicing these foundational movement patterns, which are shown to repattern oscillatory activity and promote better cross-connectivity of brain regions.

How To Get Moving

• What’s around you? Check out a local dance, theater, or yoga studio with a friend.
• Start small. Set a goal for five minutes of daily rhythmic gestures. (Take inspiration from the patterns below!) Pair movement with a favorite TV show or album.
• Dance at home like no one’s watching. Follow an instructional dance video or take part in our research lab’s free movement series on Instagram (@embodiedbrainlab).
• Movement should be joyful, so choose the mode that’s most fun for you.

Julia C. Basso Ph.D., is an assistant professor in the Department of Human Nutrition, Foods and Exercise at Virginia Tech and Director of The Embodied Brain Laboratory.

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Autistic and ADHD burnout can build gradually and vary in intensity. Signs include:

• persistent fatigue
• chronic pain
• headaches
• difficulty focusing, worsening executive dysfunction
• social withdrawal
• depression, anxiety, and other emotional shifts
• heightened sensory sensitivities

If ignored or unaddressed, these signs of stress can erode day-to-day functioning and weaken coping mechanisms. Some people are so paralyzed by burnout that they pause their careers and relationships, and may need a year or longer to reset.

If you recognize the signs of burnout, explore which situations might be causing you the most harm. Ask yourself:

• What drains or energizes me?
• When do I function best or worst?
• How do I judge productivity?
• Which environments support me?

💡Free Self-Test: Am I Burnt Out?

To halt the downward spiral into burnout, you will need to make changes that prioritize your health over others’ needs or wants. These can include:

• Establishing reasonable goals. Learn to ask for help. Drop non-essential tasks from daily life. If your job is overwhelming, consider pivoting to a less stressful job or career path if you can.
• Practice unmasking. It takes time and thoughtful practice to know your authentic self. Experiment with approaches that have helped others unmask — for example, stimming at home.
• Finding the right provider. A neurodivergent-affirming healthcare professional can help you unmask and stop the burnout cycle. Ask potential providers these questions:
  • Have you provided care to someone like me?
  • What does providing neurodiversity-affirming care mean to you? (Their answer should reflect that neurodivergence is not a problem to be solved nor something shameful.)
  • What is your experience assessing and helping someone who is high-masking?

Treatment can include:

• cognitive behavioral therapy for coping skills and improved self-awareness
• support groups that help neurodivergent individuals find validation by connecting with others who face similar situations
• self-care, such as eating healthy foods, getting adequate sleep, and exercising regularly

Amy Marschall, Psy.D., is an autistic psychologist diagnosed with ADHD. She is the author of Neurodiversity-Affirming Therapy.

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Living with a compulsive need to please others and avoid conflict can be emotionally exhausting. With ADHD in the mix, self-esteem and communication skills can also suffer.

To achieve a healthier balance in your relationships, follow these seven steps.

1. Identify Root Causes

People-pleasing behaviors often stem from fear of rejection, low self-esteem, or past experiences in which you felt emotional safety hinged on accommodating others.

Perhaps you felt you had to fulfill your parents’ demands, no matter how unhealthy, or risk harsh punishment and emotional upheaval. Maybe you experienced rejection from your parents, peers, and other adults whose standards felt impossible to reach. A therapist can help you explore and understand the root causes of your people-pleasing behaviors and develop solutions for overcoming them.

[Read: How ADHD Impacts Sex and Marriage]

2. Set Boundaries

Self-respect grows from setting healthy boundaries and prioritizing self-care. This doesn’t mean you care less about your family; it means you care enough about yourself to make sure your needs are being met. Start with minor requests, learn to say no, and express your desires.

3. Speak Up

Have an honest conversation with your husband and family. Express your desire to change, A supportive partner will understand and help you with this transition. Effective communication can also prevent misunderstandings.

4. Reframe Thoughts

Many compulsive people-pleasers harbor negative thoughts and self-criticism. Are your fears based on proven facts or speculation? Cognitive behavioral techniques can be particularly helpful in reframing negative thinking patterns.

[Webinar Replay: Stop People Pleasing! Halting the Cycle of ADHD Self-Doubt, Perfectionism and Procrastination]

5. Practice Assertiveness

Being assertive means expressing your thoughts, feelings, and needs directly and respectfully. This can be challenging if you’re used to avoiding conflict, but there are many books, workshops, and therapies to help you build these skills. Participating in role-playing scenarios with a therapist or trusted friend can also help.

6. Embrace Self-Compassion

Be kind to yourself as you work through these changes. It’s normal to make mistakes and revert to old patterns occasionally. Instead of beating yourself up, acknowledge your progress and remind yourself that change take time.

7. Prioritize Mutual Respect

Healthy relationships are built on mutual respect and understanding. When you and your husband contribute equally to the relationship, it creates a more satisfying partnership and reduces the pressure to constantly please.

Breaking free from the cycle of pleasing people and avoiding conflict is not easy, but with patience, self-awareness, and support, it’s possible.

Stephanie Sarkis, PhD., is the author of Healing from Toxic Relationships: 10 Essential Steps to Recover from Gaslighting, Narcissism, and Emotional Abuse.

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The afternoon slump is a real biological phenomenon driven by the body’s internal clock, which influences attention, concentration, and alertness throughout the day.

Most of us experience a big dip in energy at bedtime to promote sleep, and a surge each morning to help us initiate our day. But there’s a secondary lull, typically between 1 and 3 pm, that occurs naturally (and regardless of whether you’ve eaten a big meal). This dip is measurable and observed cross-culturally, with many parts of the world recognizing and respecting it with siesta time – a break in normal activities.

The Afternoon Slump and ADHD

Some people with ADHD may not notice this dip in alertness; issues with proprioception or awareness of bodily cues – common with neurodivergence – may make these lulls easy to miss. (Difficulty gauging sleepiness, for instance, is one reason people with ADHD may have trouble getting to bed on time.)

For many, the natural dip becomes more obvious after beginning ADHD medication. There are a few reasons for this:

[Read: The Daily Missteps That Are Sucking Away Your Energy]

• Better attention overall. When symptoms improve, heightened attention improves proprioception.
• Medication wear-off. The natural afternoon slump may overlap with waning medication coverage, especially with immediate-release formulations. For example, a 7 a.m. dose that lasts up to eight hours would taper around midday or early afternoon.
• Increased productivity. Doing more while medicated can lead to greater fatigue by the afternoon.

Is It ADHD Medication Fade or True Siesta Time?

Because the two can coincide, experiment with the timing of your morning dose. If you feel the same lull even after shifting the dose, medication likely isn’t the primary factor. If changing timing helps, consider:

• Adding a second immediate-release dose before midday
• Switching to a long-acting formulation

Siesta Time Is Natural

Fluctuating energy throughout the day is part of normal human biology. What is an issue, at least in the United States, is acknowledging this real biological phenomenon. As much as our culture tells us to power through these lulls, understanding and respecting them, I believe, is an important part of managing ADHD. Ignoring them or pretending they don’t exist is just working against your biology.

[Read: How Toxic Productivity Leads to Neurodivergent Burnout]

Acknowledging siesta time doesn’t mean abandoning responsibilities. It may mean scheduling your lunch or movement breaks around these dips, steering clear of boring tasks during the slump, and tackling your most demanding tasks earlier in the day.

What about naps? A short one – 20 minutes and no more than an hour – helps some people manage without interfering with evening sleep. But if you’re a member of the ADHD majority with sleep problems, it’s best to avoid daytime naps.

Even if ADHD medication makes you more focused and productive overall, medication won’t make the naturally occurring afternoon slump disappear. A dip in performance is still to be expected, given our biological clocks. My philosophy: Don’t try to medicate your way out of siesta time.

Afternoon Slump: Next Steps from ADDitude

• Self-Test: Am I Suffering from Hurry Sickness?
• Read: How to Tell If Your ADHD Medication Is Working
• Read: What to Do When a Prescription Wears Off

This article was derived from the ADDitude ADHD Experts Webinar, An Adult’s Guide to ADHD Treatment Considerations, with John Kruse, M.D., Ph.D., and his video “Siesta Time for Mental Health.”

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Thank you for reading ADDitude. To support our mission of providing ADHD education and support, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our content and outreach possible. Thank you.