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Our understanding of and diagnostic criteria for autism, a lifelong condition, have evolved considerably over the last 50 to 60 years. One fall-on effect of this awareness: Many autistic adults overlooked or misdiagnosed in childhood are finally pursuing an evaluation. This population is sometimes called “the lost generation.”

Today, there remains a significant lack of information and understanding about the unique needs, supports, and challenges of autistic people in midlife and at older ages. This webinar will highlight autism and aging as a rapidly advancing and important area of research, and it will provide approaches to help autistic adults live full and happy lives.

In this webinar, you will learn:

• About the historic changes to diagnostic criteria that resulted in some 90 percent of autistic people receiving diagnoses at and after age 50 worldwide
• How complementary conceptual approaches can be used to examine aging in autism (i.e., dimensional trait-based approaches and categorical diagnosis-based approaches)
• What recent empirical research findings tell us about aging as an autistic person, covering a range of studies related to cognition, health, wellbeing, and life experiences
• How the information gained from these studies can be pieced together to create a broad picture of where support can be provided to improve the quality of life and outcomes of older autistic adults to ensure they live long and happy lives

Have a question for our expert? There will be an opportunity to post questions for the presenter during the live webinar.

Autism in Adults: Resources

• • • Free Download: The Truth About Autism in Adults
    • Read: AuDHD: ADHD and Adult Autism Symptoms, Diagnosis & Interventions for Both
    • Read: Q: How Can I Get Evaluated for Autism as an Adult?
    • Read: ADHD, Autism, and Neurodivergence Are Coming Into Focus

Meet the Expert Speaker

Gavin Stewart, Ph.D., is a senior postdoctoral research fellow at King’s College in London. He is an expert in autism and aging, and his research takes a multifaceted approach to explore the life experiences of autistic people across adulthood and as they age.

Certificate of Attendance: For information on how to purchase the certificate of attendance option (cost $10), register for the webinar, then look for instructions in the email you’ll receive one hour after it ends. The certificate of attendance link will also be available here, on the webinar replay page, several hours after the live webinar. ADDitude does not offer CEU credits.

Closed captions available.

I used to think autism meant headbanging or stimming in obvious ways. I didn’t see myself in the stereotypes, and I definitely didn’t think it explained my chaos. But then came TikTok.

It started innocently enough. Like many people, I downloaded the app during the pandemic to see what the fuss was about. The algorithm didn’t take long. Almost instantly, my For You page was filled with chaotic, rainbow-haired women my age talking about ADHD and autism. Women who looked like me. Women who were me.

I didn’t even have to search. They just appeared — video after video of people with the same explosive personality traits, the same sensory issues, the same thought patterns. The same trauma responses. The same jokes. The same blue hair.

At first, it was comforting. “That’s me!” I’d laugh. “Oh my God — that’s so me!” But then the laughter started to sting.

[Read: “I’m ‘The ADHD Doctor’ on TikTok. Here’s How the App Has Changed Me.”]

One video hit particularly hard. A woman — split-dyed blue and black hair, like mine — left her house to grab blueberries. The timestamp showed it had been over an hour when she came back through the door with five full shopping bags, arms overflowing. Her husband called out, “Did you get the blueberries?” And her face froze in horror. She hadn’t. She’d forgotten the one thing she went out for. I laughed out loud… then felt punched in the gut. Because I had done that exact thing — only with orange juice.

Once the algorithm clocked my reaction, it doubled down. Every time I opened the app, I saw someone like me: brushing their teeth and suddenly realizing the toilet roll needed changed… which led to changing the bin… which led to discovering their toothbrush in the kitchen beside the bin they forgot to empty. These bizarre, tangled thought spirals I thought were unique to me were suddenly just… everywhere.

As my friends discovered the app, my inbox started to fill with more versions of myself — daily scenarios acted out by strangers who looked like me, always with the same message: “This is so you.” People even said it in person: “You know that girl — the one who’s basically you on the Internet,” when they were talking about an AuDHD video.

And that’s when it hit me. I wasn’t special. I was one of thousands. Millions, even.

Weirdness as Identity, Stolen by TikTok

All my life, I’d felt weird, different. I had clung to that as a form of identity. Even when it hurt, even when I felt alone, I had accepted my quirks as mine. But TikTok held up a mirror I hadn’t requested — and in that mirror, I saw not one reflection, but hundreds. Thousands. My traits, once mine alone, were playing out on screens all over the world. It felt like I’d been cloned and scattered across the Internet.

That realization spiraled into a strange grief. I was relieved to have answers for my lifelong struggles, yes. But at the same time, I was grieving the person I thought I was. I had worn my difference like armor — if I couldn’t blend in, I’d be the loudest, weirdest one in the room. I didn’t realize how much of my identity hinged on feeling like the only one.

Seeing “me” reflected back so often, in so many strangers, made me feel exposed. Invisible, even. Was I just ADHD sprinkled with some autism — another neurodivergent stereotype of blue hair and mandalas? Had anything about me ever been unique?

I Don’t Need to Be One-of-a-Kind

For weeks, I found myself torn. I kept scrolling through these videos that made me laugh, cry, and feel understood. But they also made me feel hollow. Like my sense of self had dissolved. I started snapping the app shut, unable to face the steady stream of doppelgängers.

And then one night, I looked at my son — this messy, brilliant little boy who shares many of my quirks — and something shifted.

If I can see myself everywhere… maybe that means I was never alone.

Maybe there’s comfort in that.

Maybe I’m not a diluted version of a stereotype, but a real, whole person who happens to be neurodivergent — like so many others. And maybe that’s not a bad thing. Maybe it’s a blessing. Maybe I can see the humor in this — the light in myself by seeing it in others like me.

Because if I can find myself in all of these strangers, then maybe he will, too.

Maybe he’ll grow up seeing himself everywhere and never feel the kind of loneliness I felt as a child.

Maybe the weird won’t feel weird at all. That’s all I can hope for.

These days, I still fall into the TikTok rabbit holes. I still see my reflection in strangers. But now I feel a little more grounded. A little more grateful. I’m learning to let go of the need to be “one of a kind,” and embracing the strange, beautiful truth that we are never as alone as we think.

I may not be the only blue crayon in the box — but I’m still here, coloring outside the lines.

AuDHD in Women: Next Steps

• Read: TikTok Is My Therapist — The Dangers and Promise of Viral #MentalHealth Videos
• Read: ADHD, Autism, and Neurodivergence Are Coming Into Focus
• Read: “5 Unique Features of AuDHD in Women”

SUPPORT ADDITUDE
Thank you for reading ADDitude. To support our mission of providing ADHD education and support, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our content and outreach possible. Thank you.

I worry the person I’m talking to will doubt I’ve really got it or mistake my revelation for a declaration of specialness.

I get why they might hear it that way. Some people do seem to center their identity around their neurodivergence and I understand that too. Endless flying-kicks to the ego inflict deep and lasting wounds and there’s a screw-you joy in shouting from the rooftops that you like who you are and have finally found your squad.

For me though, ADHD is only part of who I am. I’m different from the people I know who have it and they are different from each other as well. I don’t want others to hear those four little letters and put me in an ill-fitting box.

But that probably makes it all the more pressing that I push through the cringe and crack on with my disclosure.

There are loads of reasons why I feel I should talk about ADHD.

[Read: The ADHD Myths That Hurt Us Most]

1. To Explain That It’s Like an Iceberg

Public perception of ADHD is still negative and narrow: we’re chaotic, annoying and devoid of common sense. We bash things with sticks all day long and talk over each other non-stop. The stereotype overlooks inattentive attributes completely and defines us largely by what we lack and by our most conspicuous traits.

A lot of people with ADHD wouldn’t stand out in a crowd though, especially if they’re female. We’re skilled at concealing our inner struggles behind a slick-but-exhausting performance of normal.

The little quirks we do exhibit can look trivial or amusing to the casual observer, but they’re often the tip of a giant iceberg that quietly threatens to capsize our lives.

Being open about ADHD lets me dig into the detail of the many different ways it can manifest and how much is hidden from view. I like being part of that conversation and I think I have a duty to share what I know.

[Read: 3 Defining Features of ADHD That Everyone Overlooks]

2. To Help Friends Understand Themselves Better

It’s no accident that my account of lifelong symptoms often chimes with the person I’m talking to. ADHD people attract each other, after all. When someone recognizes themselves in my experience, they’re usually keen to learn more and some have gone on to pursue diagnosis, either for themselves or their children.

My own ADHD journey began when a friend shared a podcast that resonated so much it brought me to tears. Finding out my more troublesome traits were part of a pattern and not random failings as a human helped weaken the grip that shame sometimes has on me and which can wreak more havoc than the condition itself.

Talking about ADHD feels worth the discomfort when it helps get the message to people like me who need to hear it most.

3. To Take the Sting out of Stigma

Even if a person does not relate to my story of quiet dysregulation and self-sabotage, my willingness to be vulnerable can lead to reciprocal sharing.

Laying bare my own battles almost always results in chats about what others find difficult.

I used to worry that being honest would make me feel weak, but I’ve found that the opposite is true. I feel braver and stronger when I open up and it gives other people permission to do likewise.

4. To Make Working Life Easier

When I first got my ADHD diagnosis, I didn’t want to tell my employer. I was scared I’d be seen as incapable and worried the condition would be used to sweep real workload issues under the carpet.

I’m so glad I did come clean though. It made it easier to ask for accommodations, even informal ones. Small changes to my role and teaching hours have made me calmer and more productive and I feel like my managers have my back.

Conversations I have at work about ADHD soon turn to the things I excel at too and the stuff my colleagues find easy. That’s great for collaboration. If my workmate gets off on the gristle-chewing torment of detailed yearly planning, they can knock themselves out with their color-coded spreadsheets while I save my energy for bringing fresh, last-minute ideas when plans get upended as they so often do.

5. To Remind Us That Everyone Is Weird

Sceptics scoff when they hear how many people are being diagnosed with ADHD. But I’m surprised they’re surprised by the stats. It’s not uncommon and everyone is different. I thought we knew that by now.

I don’t see the rise in cases as proof of rampant overdiagnosis or the fragility of entire generations. I view it as long-overdue acknowledgement that the uniform, manmade and neurotypical-centric requirements of modern life are extremely hard for a lot of people to meet.

Reading about ADHD helped me pinpoint what I find tough and examine why that might be. But talking about ADHD to people who don’t have it opened my eyes to the many things others can struggle with – unforeseen changes, recognizing feelings, encountering buttons, for example. It gives me the chance to acknowledge that I know it’s not all about me.

I don’t feel special for having ADHD. I feel fortunate that my particular brand of weirdness fits into an established and well-researched cluster. Not everyone is that lucky.

6. To Assuage the Fear of Labels

Diagnosis has helped me a lot. I talk to myself more kindly now and am learning to soothe my nervous system when I need to persevere.

My ADHD label is not a shield behind which I intend to cower, emerging only to hurl rotten eggs and expletives at people who insist I do boring jobs. It’s a framework for understanding myself better so that I can capitalize on my strengths and work on the tough bits with greater insight and practical strategies.

7. To Make It So Normal It’s Boring

Talking about ADHD feels awkward. I still feel embarrassed when I bring it up. But I need to chuck my truth out there and have faith that if enough of us do the same, the stereotypes will melt away and at some point, someone like me will be able to mention their common difference to zero frowns or pigeonholing.

One day, I hope, ADHD will be a boring shortcut to explain how I function and what I do best.

Maybe by then everyone will have their own punchy acronym to help me understand them better as well. I might interrupt them to ask for more detail, but I promise I will never roll my eyes.

Explaining ADHD: Next Steps

• Read: 10 Ways ADHD Can Hide in Plain Sight
• Read: Coping with the Stigma of ADHD
• Read: Who Do You Tell About Your ADHD?

SUPPORT ADDITUDE
Thank you for reading ADDitude. To support our mission of providing ADHD education and support, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our content and outreach possible. Thank you.

“You’d forget your head if it wasn’t glued on.”

“I heard things like, ‘Thank goodness she’s pretty because…'”

“The words were never as hurtful as the glares, the eye-rolling, and the silent treatment from family members who were constantly aggravated as I disrupted their peace.”

The messages that ADDitude readers have been subjected to about themselves and their neurodivergence would be shocking if they weren’t so ubiquitous. Sadly, their experiences mirror what we know about living with ADHD — that criticism is common and greatly reduces self-worth.

Words hurt, but ADDitudereaders also attest that the right ones can empower and heal. Read on to learn about the most frustrating messages our readers heard about themselves, and the messages and actions — from themselves and from others — that uplifted them and corrected the narrative.

[Read: “I’m Way Too Hard on Myself”]

“‘Why can’t you just [insert thing here]?’ I felt frustrated because I didn’t understand either! I didn’t understand why I couldn’t just do the thing that needed to be done. My mom would say, ‘Put out the fires at your feet first.’ You can’t just put out a whole forest fire at once. You need to start from where you’re at. It helped when I would feel overwhelmed. My mom would also quote Rollie Pollie Ollie: ‘Do the best you can because that’s the best you can do.’ It reminded me that I can’t expect more of myself than I’m able to give. Whatever I am able to do is good enough.” — Ella, Canada

“Any pointed comments about me being lazy or seeing others get exasperated with me to the point of sharp frustration or tears made me feel like something was wrong with me. Now that I understand why, it’s been helpful to mitigate my inner negativity, but I still have ways to go. What I’ve found helpful is finding people who coach and guide me without judgement — like when others tell me that they understand what I’m dealing with (e.g., hard time getting into the work or being easily frustrated).” — Jono, Canada

“I was ‘too much.’ My mom always told me it was OK if some things take me longer, at least I was getting them right.” — Megan, Utah

“I was told that I was dramatic, overly sensitive, impolite, lazy. My self-esteem is beginning to recover, but I still easily slip into berating myself. Being told that I was compassionate, gifted, and intelligent made me feel better about myself. I still hold on to these compliments.” — Ayanna, California

[Read: The ADHD Myths That Hurt Us Most]

“If I hadn’t been mentored by my college professor, I don’t know where I would be now. Her message, without any kind of sweetness, was that I was of great value.” — Jean, Michigan

“It didn’t matter what the specific words or situations were. The message was that I, me, myself, was wrong. The uplifting messages I got were from people I respected and who saw my abilities or efforts. It took awhile to see and hear them, and sometimes I thought they were negative. I also find a lot of lift in reading sports interviews. Athletes work through self-doubt far better than I have ever done.” — Jen, Massachusetts

“I was told that I was lazy and that I would succeed if I just put more effort in. I felt dumb and incapable. The most helpful support and feedback was given to me about other strengths: social skills, creativity, generosity, kindness. I felt seen in my musical abilities even though these were often non-traditional.” — An ADDitude Reader

“Worst messages: You are lazy. You are too combative. You are too loud and intimidating. You don’t know when to shut up. You are a know-it-all. You are disruptive and too much. Best messages: I love your honest and straightforward way. I know you won’t ever lie to me and that you always have my best interests in mind. You are the most caring and empathetic person I have ever met. You’ve changed my life. You always have such a unique perspective. I love how creative you are. You are inspiring. You should be a motivational speaker. These words made me feel seen and understood. That I could really make a difference and that my life has purpose. Like I could do anything.” — Carmen, Germany

“You think too much. You over-analyze. You dream too big. You focus on small details. You are too organized or structured for this fast-paced environment. You document too much. You talk too much. You schmooze too much. These are all skills that came in handy when I began working as a technical sales person. I had a boss recognize I was a people-person and had a way of organizing chaos. He made it known that what I perceived as my flaws, were actually my strengths.” — An ADDitude Reader

“You’re really smart but you’re not living up to your potential. You’re lazy. You don’t listen. You’re a terrible student. You can’t sit still. Stop making excuses for doing so poorly in school and start applying yourself. Those messages made me feel frustrated, angry, self-conscious, and disappointed in myself. I had a fifth-grade teacher who recognized I was a talented writer, and regularly encouraged me to keep developing my skills. Another English teacher also recognized my talents and made me feel like I was smarter than my parents and other teachers gave me credit for.” — Tom, Colorado

ADHD and Self-Esteem: Next Steps

• Read: “How Rewriting the Past Can Help You Overcome ADHD Shame”
• Read: Your Inner Critic Is Sabotaging Your Efforts. Mute It.
• Read: “‘The Bright Underachiever:’ Cruelties I Heard Growing Up with Undiagnosed ADHD”

SUPPORT ADDITUDE
Thank you for reading ADDitude. To support our mission of providing ADHD education and support, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our content and outreach possible. Thank you.

The fact is, procrastination stems from avoidant thoughts. And those avoidant thoughts are often rooted in powerful and complicated emotions: uncertainty, fear of failure, overwhelm, guilt, fear of rejection, boredom/lack of motivation toward a goal that is not your own, performance anxiety, shame, and panic, to name a few common ones.

“The tricky, nefarious thing about procrastination is that it doesn’t happen in one big chunk,” said Laura E. Knouse, Ph.D., during her ADDitude webinar, “Stuck in Procrastination Mode? Turn Intention into Action with ADHD.” “Procrastination really accumulates over zillions of little, tiny avoidance moments.”

The first step to overcoming procrastination is recognizing when you are faced with an avoidant moment. Red flag may include thoughts like, “I’ll be able to focus better on this later” or “I’ll just clear some easy things off my plate first.” But it’s not always easy to catch yourself in an avoidance moment, and it’s even harder to interrupt or challenge one once it’s begun.

In her webinar, Knouse explained how to slowly, surely, and compassionately coach yourself through those pre-procrastination moments in order to close the gap between intention and action.

1. Question Whether Your Thoughts Are Serving Your Best Interests

Procrastination is often associated with negative automatic thoughts — like feeling shame or embarrassment over falling short on your gym goals, then escaping into your phone to calm those thoughts, which further delays or prevents exercise time.

But not all procrastination involves negative thoughts. Avoidance can be driven by deceptively positive thoughts like, “Oh, this will be easy; I don’t need to start now,” or “I can watch just one more episode and then do those dishes. I worked hard today and I deserve it.”

[Free Download: Finish Your To-Do List TODAY]

2. Expect That You Will Experience Avoidant Thoughts

Knouse’s research shows that people with ADHD are more likely than their neurotypical peers to experience avoidant automatic thoughts (AATs) that drive procrastination. Common avoidant thoughts include “I do better waiting until the last minute” and “Being impulsive is a big part of who I am.”

College students with ADHD, for example, experience AATs 62% of the time, while college students without ADHD experience them 35% of the time. This matters because a higher number of AATs is associated with greater challenges with inattentiveness, distractibility, and task avoidance.

3. Begin by Noticing Your Thoughts

Changing your procrastination patterns won’t happen overnight, and most of the work is in noticing the thoughts that lead to procrastination, even if those thoughts seem benign.

The next step is to identify ways to engage in the task despite an avoidance thought. You can decide ahead of time, for example, to set a timer for 20 minutes (or any chunk of time that you can manage) to work on the task. Or you may cue up a pump-up playlist like this one recommended by webinar attendees.

Coaching yourself through the task is also important. Think to yourself (or, better yet, say out loud): “You only have to do this for ___ minutes.” Be supportive and realistic with yourself about what you can do.

For more strategies to overcome procrastination and dismantle avoidance patterns, watch the full webinar replay at additu.de/030526

How to Stop Procrastinating: More Resources

• Read: What Stops Me From Starting?
• Read: How to Not Procrastinate When Task Avoidance Strikes
• Read: The Everyday Rationales That Let Procrastination In

SUPPORT ADDITUDE
Thank you for reading ADDitude. To support our mission of providing ADHD education and support, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our content and outreach possible. Thank you.

But people pleasing, as I and others with ADHD know, often results in little more than broken promises — to others, and to ourselves. People-pleasing behaviors like failing to set boundaries, readily assuming blame, and being overly agreeable for validation’s sake lead to unmet goals, dissatisfaction, burnout, and resentment.

What finally helped me address people-pleasing behaviors was a powerful reframe: I’m not pleasing people; I’m abandoning myself.

[Read: Self-Sabotage and ADHD — Are You Your Own Worst Enemy?]

It hit hard when I thought of how many times I’ve abandoned myself across my life, but I let this realization propel me to do better for myself.

How to Stop Abandoning Yourself

It takes time to unlearn people-pleasing tendencies. Start by asking yourself one question the next time you face a potential commitment: Does the activity nurture or drain my energy?

Depersonalize your response and try not to assign morality to the situation. Say your child’s school asks for volunteers to organize a bake sale. Instead of thinking, “I should volunteer because that’s what good parents do,” think of what it would require of you. Would you be able to volunteer and preserve enough energy to attend to your and your family’s needs at home?

As you set a boundary, remember that you can attend to activities in ways that meet your energy needs and values. The bake sale may be draining this time, but perhaps you can donate a store-brought treat to the event.

People Pleasing and ADHD: Next Steps

• Read: You Are Enough — How to Counteract ADHD Imposter Syndrome
• Read: When Perfectionism Stems from ADHD
  
• Read: 7 Self-Defeating Behaviors That Aggravate ADHD

This article was derived from the ADDitude ADHD Experts Webinar, “How to Accomplish Your 2026 Goals — One Day at a Time” with Caren Magill. Caren is an ADHD coach, entrepreneur, and YouTube creator.

SUPPORT ADDITUDE
Thank you for reading ADDitude. To support our mission of providing ADHD education and support, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our content and outreach possible. Thank you.

Better yet, I learned that she’s really open about her diagnosis. She told ESPN: “I have ADHD, and I love situations that I’m not expecting. It gives me a dopamine rush.”

Liu does have a slightly chaotic ADHD vibe. She’s rarely sitting still. She can appear charmingly clueless — like after her win, when she wandered off, just to be reminded that she needed to go get her medal. She says and does what she wants, even when it seems unexpected or a little silly. She cracks jokes at press conferences. She screamed, “Now that’s what I’m f*ckin’ talking about!” into the camera after her win. (It has since become a meme). She cheers for her fellow skaters.

In short, Liu is everything I was told NOT to be as a neurodivergent athlete myself.

Like Liu, I have ADHD and am a figure skater. Unlike her, I am not an Olympic champion, have never done a quadruple lutz (although I have done a double), and don’t have the guts to color my hair or pierce my frenulum. (I cried when I got my ears pierced.)

[Read: Olympians, Professional Athletes, and Sports Legends with ADHD]

But like Liu, I also had an interesting journey to understanding my ADHD.

Liu got evaluated for ADHD when she realized she had 145 unfinished homework assignments in her final year of high school. She struggled with procrastination, and like many of us, needs novelty and challenge to focus.

I was diagnosed at 11, promptly forgot (I didn’t take meds, for various reasons), and was re-diagnosed 20 years later when I erroneously sought diagnosis and treatment for OCD. (A path so many women with ADHD walk).

Like everyone else, I felt the joy when Liu skated at the Olympics. I was perhaps more invested because I’d interviewed her when she first burst on the Junior scene — a tiny 13-year-old who had the hopes and dreams of the skating community resting on her petite shoulders.

Her Olympic win is even more impressive when you learn her backstory: she retired at 16 after a disappointing sixth-place finish at the 2022 Olympics, took two years off, climbed Mount Everest, and still came back to claim not only Olympic gold but also the World title in 2025.

She quit because she couldn’t stand the pressure anymore. She didn’t like feeling like a “puppet.” And she really didn’t like not making her own choices about not just her skating, but her life.

Liu came back because she missed the adrenaline rush, and skating again was fun. But with one caveat: everything — music, costumes, diet, training — would be on her terms.

And that turned out to be the missing link. By giving herself accommodations and taking control of her life, Liu showed us all what can happen when we choose to do things our way, not the neurotypical way.

What Alysa Liu’s Burnout Can Teach High-Functioning ADHD Women

Many high-functioning ADHD girls and women (perhaps including Liu) never get diagnosed or get diagnosed later in life because they appear to be doing more than fine. They excel in academics. They dominate in sports. They pour themselves into whatever captures their hyperfocus. From the outside, everything looks great. But inside, they’re floundering.

In highly controlled environments — like elite figure skating — this can feel even more suffocating. The constant pressure to perform, conform, and comply collides with a brain that craves autonomy and novelty.

There’s also a prevailing narrative in sport that struggle equals growth. That discipline is the price of success. It looks like logging hours on the ice while your mind is quietly collapsing. It’s denying your own wants and needs so you don’t let anyone down.

I lived this. I wasn’t an Olympian, but I was a competitive figure skater for over 20 years. I was surrounded by Olympians who coached and trained alongside me, and I spent years wondering why I couldn’t just commit, work harder, and do what they did. My perfectionism made me walk away at 18. Though I returned to the sport, like Liu, and saw moments when I stopped performing neurotypically, I still burned out — a decision my body made for me.

What I admire most about Liu is that she didn’t wait for that. She chose to walk away before it broke her — and chose to come back only when she could do it on her own terms. She didn’t try to fit back into the old system. She built a new one.

Alysa Liu Is the Role Model I Didn’t Know I Needed

To be fair, Alysa isn’t the only athlete to open up about their mental health. But the way she talks about ADHD — openly celebrating it — is refreshing.

In a sport that has historically prized tight control over bodies, speech, and appearance, that’s revelatory. It makes her a figure skating icon for a whole new generation — one that makes its own rules and celebrates its own individuality.

ADHD brains like ours aren’t wired for obligation. We need careers and pursuits that are novel, that bring new challenges, that keep us guessing. That’s why so many athletes, entrepreneurs, and creatives are neurodivergent — we thrive on the unknown.

But when those pursuits become routine, we lose interest fast. It starts feeling like slogging uphill, with burnout at the summit.

This is almost certainly where Liu ended up before her retirement. So she left. And when she came back, she made sure joy came first.

And while most of us will never win an Olympic medal, we can learn from how she got there. We can find ways to accommodate ourselves. We can be honest and authentic instead of performing what we think people want. We can ask for help. We can honor our own process — the wandering attention, the scattered practices, the FaceTime calls mid-warmup — and trust that when our energy is ready, it will show up.

The biggest lessons we can learn from Liu: Be yourself. Do what you need to do for you. Follow your interests, because that’s where your success lies.
Maybe the only thing we need to change is what we lead with.
Alysa led with joy. And she won.

Christie Sausa, MS, is a dual-sport neurodivergent athlete who writes the Not Your Average Athlete blog.

Athletes with ADHD: More from ADDitude

• Read: Sports Psychology Tricks That Work for ADHD Brains
• Read: “Maybe I’m Not Just Thoroughly Messed Up” Olympian Molly Seidel On Her Late ADHD Diagnosis
• Read: How Swimming Saved Michael Phelps

SUPPORT ADDITUDE
Thank you for reading ADDitude. To support our mission of providing ADHD education and support, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our content and outreach possible. Thank you.

“After a long day, my mind is racing with thoughts, which means that I often cannot calm down enough to let intimacy get to me,” says Nathaly, an ADDitude reader in Germany with ADHD. “Then I feel guilty. I have a timer in my head that tells me how long it’s been since the last time we were intimate, which makes the pressure worse.”

Scores of readers shared similar stories of struggling to manage distractions, sensory overwhelm, rejection sensitivity, and anxiety, which often led to shame, guilt, or relationship challenges. Readers shared solutions, too, which frequently involved ADHD diagnosis and treatment as well as a concerted effort to improve communication, often with the help of couples therapy.

“We have started to slowly resolve this issue,” Nathaly explained. “When we want to be intimate, we make sure that I have time to calm down first, put on some relaxing music, or take a long shower. Then I am usually more relaxed and open to intimacy.”

Here, readers share the ways ADHD complicates their experience of sex and impart strategies that may help.

[Watch: ADHD and Sex – Building Focus and Attention for Intimacy]

Reserve your spot in this free webinar, and get the event replay link plus a 15% discount to ADDitude magazine

Not available April 8? Don’t worry. Register now and we’ll send you the replay link to watch at your convenience.

ADHD is not a disorder of willpower; it is a condition of dysregulation. Decades of neurobiological research demonstrate that altered signaling in key neurotransmitter systems — particularly dopamine, norepinephrine, and serotonin — contribute to the core features of ADHD. These chemical messengers in the brain shape how we focus, prioritize, feel motivated, regulate emotions, and experience reward.

Dopamine is central to motivation, pleasure, reward processing, and goal-directed behavior. When dopamine signaling is adequate, individuals feel calm, satisfied, and capable of sustained engagement. When dopamine tone is reduced or dysregulated, as often observed in ADHD, the brain compensates by seeking novelty, urgency, or high stimulation. This contributes to distractibility, procrastination on mundane tasks, and the pursuit of immediate rewards over long-term goals.

Norepinephrine supports sustained attention, executive functioning, working memory, and impulse control. In the prefrontal cortex, the brain’s executive control center, dopamine and norepinephrine work together to optimize cognitive performance. When these systems are underactive, individuals may experience task initiation difficulties, emotional reactivity, sensory overwhelm, and mental fatigue.

While not traditionally viewed as a “core” ADHD neurotransmitter, serotonin plays a critical modulatory role in mood, sleep, emotional stability, and behavioral inhibition. Serotonergic imbalance can amplify irritability, anxiety, mood swings, impulsivity, and sleep disturbance, complicating the ADHD clinical picture.

In this engaging and scientifically grounded webinar, you will learn:

• About the neurochemical basis for ADHD and understand what is beneath the surface of symptoms
• How ADHD brains differ structurally and functionally from neurotypical brains, including altered activity in the prefrontal cortex, differences in reward circuitry, variations in cortical maturation and connectivity, and dysregulation within the networks that aid cognitive control
• Gain insight into how these neural systems interact dynamically, and how neurotransmitter balance influences real-world behavior
• How excess hormones and neurotransmitters can lead to over arousal, anxiety, and irritability while insufficient signaling affects executive function, procrastination and motivation
• How serotonin modulates emotional regulation, impulsivity, and sleep stability, with clinical examples to illustrate how neurochemical dysregulation translates to everyday functional difficulties

About evidence-based interventions and how they restore brain function, including:

• Stimulant medications that enhance dopamine and norepinephrine signaling
• Traditional non-stimulant treatments that target norepinephrine
• New and novel nonstimulants that modulate serotonin
• Behavioral interventions that leverage reward systems
• Sleep, exercise, and lifestyle strategies that support neurotransmitter balance

Have a question for our expert? There will be an opportunity to post questions for the presenter during the live webinar.

Webinar Sponsor

ADHD isn’t a lack of effort. It’s rooted in differences in how your brain regulates motivation, reward, attention, and emotions. When dopamine and other key brain chemicals fluctuate, it can affect everything from focus and consistency to mood and impulse control. Inflow gets it. Our science-backed program helps you better understand your ADHD brain and apply practical strategies to improve follow-through, emotional balance, and daily functioning. Take the free ADHD traits quiz to get started.

ADDitude thanks our sponsors for supporting our webinars. Sponsorship has no influence on speaker selection or webinar content.

ADHD & Brain Health: Resources

• • • Free Download: Unraveling the Mysteries of Your ADHD Brain
    • Read: ADHD Neuroscience 101
    • Read: Everything You Never Knew About the ADHD Brain
    • Read: Using a Dopamine Menu to Stimulate Your ADHD Brain
      
      

Meet the Expert Speaker

Gregory W. Mattingly, M.D., has been a psychopharmacology Instructor for more than 20 years at The Washington University School of Medicine in St. Louis, Missouri. He earned his medical degree and residency at Washington University, where he received a Fulbright Scholarship. Dr. Mattingly has been a principal investigator in more than 500 clinical trials and his research has been published in numerous national and international journals. He is the CMO for ACCUMIN Neuroscience, a research insights and analytics company. In addition to his clinical and research practice, Dr. Mattingly has worked as a mental health consultant and evaluator for both the National Football League and Major League Baseball. Dr. Mattingly is the Past President for the American Professional Society of ADHD and Related Disorders, serves on the Scientific Program Committee for the World Federation for ADHD and is Co-Chair for the U.S. Psych Congress.

Certificate of Attendance: For information on how to purchase the certificate of attendance option (cost $10), register for the webinar, then look for instructions in the email you’ll receive one hour after it ends. The certificate of attendance link will also be available here, on the webinar replay page, several hours after the live webinar. ADDitude does not offer CEU credits.

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A staggering 78% of ADDitude readers say they’ve been gaslit by a provider, according to a poll of 194 respondents conducted during a February 2026 webinar with Jennifer Fraser, Ph.D., titled “Medical Gaslighting: When Willful Ignorance Causes Doctors to Dismiss Your ADHD Concerns.”

Is there a difference between gaslighting and provider ignorance? What makes people with ADHD susceptible to gaslighting? It is possible to resist gaslighting and heal from past experiences of self-doubt?

Fraser addressed these questions in her webinar and provided evidence-based strategies to protect from future gaslighting while healing from past dismissals. Whether you’re seeking an ADHD diagnosis or advocating for better treatment, these three takeaways will help you find your voice at the doctor’s office.

1. Whether It’s Gaslighting or Ineffectiveness, the Result Is the Same

One definition of gaslighting says it is a form of psychological or emotional abuse that involves lying, manipulation, and challenging a person’s reality to gain control over them. Another says it is the act or practice of grossly misleading someone, especially for one’s own advantage.

These definitions suggest that not every dismissive doctor is engaging in intentional gaslighting. Many physicians are unfamiliar with new ADHD research, including studies about how it presents in historically overlooked populations (e.g., women, people of color, older adults). Still, the damage may be done regardless of intent.

“Regardless of whether the gaslighting is intentional or you are being misdiagnosed… it still is going to make you feel off-kilter,” Fraser explained. “It’s going to make you question yourself, question your own reality.”

That said, a doctor who lacks knowledge but remains curious can become a partner in your care.

2. ADHD Creates Unique Vulnerabilities to Gaslighting

People with ADHD often arrive at a doctor’s office already questioning their reality. Negative messaging around their symptoms — often misinterpreted by others as character flaws — and pressure to adhere to neurotypical standards of functioning create deep self-doubt. When a doctor questions a patient’s story or suggests that what they believe to be ADHD symptoms are actually depression, anxiety, or something else, it compounds self-doubt.

Women may be especially susceptible to medical gaslighting, as science has historically focused on male bodies, leaving providers with significant knowledge gaps. Women also tend to mask symptoms, and are frequently told they can’t have ADHD because they weren’t diagnosed as children or they’re “too successful” to have it.

3. You Can Protect Yourself from Gaslighting

From sharpening your senses to learning to trust your gut, you can train your malleable brain to resist gaslighting through daily practice, Fraser said. To help you learn to trust your gut, for example, you can develop your emotional vocabulary, which will help you articulate your experiences with more precision.

To learn more about how to spot gaslighting, defend against it, and effectively advocate for yourself, watch the full webinar at additu.de/022426.

Medical Gaslighting and ADHD: Resources

• Free Download: How to Talk to Your Doctor About Medical Research
• Read: “Medical Gaslighting Convinced Me That I Didn’t Have ADHD”
• Read: A Clinicians’ Guide to Better Patient Communication

SUPPORT ADDITUDE
Thank you for reading ADDitude. To support our mission of providing ADHD education and support, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our content and outreach possible. Thank you.

The ADHD brain relies heavily on visual cues; when we can’t see something, it often ceases to exist. We leave items out on counters not from laziness, but as a necessary memory prompt. Our partners may see the piles and think that we expect them to clean up after us. This, in turn, can cause resentment and tension in the home.

In my current relationship, although I’m the one with ADHD, my sentimental non-ADHD partner struggles to let go of things (don’t get me started on what he’s saved). Clutter tolerance isn’t necessarily about ADHD. It’s about understanding each other’s needs and triggers.

[Read: Making Peace With Your Clutter]

4 Steps to Finding Compromise

1. Start with understanding.

I have OCD and cannot eat comfortably in my kitchen unless it is clean and decluttered. My partner needs to understand and respect this. Likewise, when he has clothing piled on his stationary bike, I can tolerate that. Pick your battles and clarify why they matter.

2. Explain the ADHD brain.

Help your partner understand that visible organization is a memory strategy, not laziness. If the ADHD brain can’t see something, it literally forgets that the thing exists. And who wants to buy multiples of everything? For your part, recognize that this may not just be an aesthetic preference; the clutter may create genuine anxiety for your partner. Understanding both sides transforms judgement into compassion.

3. Create designated spaces.

Establish “ADHD-friendly zones” where items can remain visible — a section of a counter, a specific shelf, or a rolling cart. Meanwhile, maintain “calm zones” that stay clear for the partner who needs visual peace.

[Read: Put a Stop to Household Clutter Once and for All]

4. Make it functional for both.

Use clear containers and label everything. A beautiful tray for daily essentials satisfies both accessibility and tidiness needs. Create systems that work with ADHD brains while maintaining visual order.

The solution is not to force the ADHD partner to hide everything or to make the clutter-sensitive partner accept chaos. Successful couples find compromise through understanding and communication.

Jami Shapiro is the founder of Silver Linings Transitions, a San Diego-based senior and specialty move management and home organization company. She is the host of the Grandma Has ADHD podcast.

SUPPORT ADDITUDE
Thank you for reading ADDitude. To support our mission of providing ADHD education and support, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our content and outreach possible. Thank you.

ADHD traits in childhood predict physical health problems in midlife, but early exercise interventions may offset this risk, suggest two new studies.

A cohort study of 10,930 participants published in JAMA found that adults with severe childhood ADHD traits had more physical health problems and greater physical health-related disability by age 46 compared to those with less severe ADHD symptoms by age 10.¹

The researchers reported that 42.1% of participants with higher ADHD traits in childhood developed multimorbidity (two or more co-occurring physical health conditions) by age 46. In comparison, just 37.5% of participants with fewer ADHD traits experienced the same health outcomes. Notably, the link between ADHD traits and physical health-related disability appeared much larger in women than it did in men.

Cumulative exposure to health risk factors, such as smoking, alcohol use, psychological distress, low educational attainment, and high body mass index, explains part of the association between ADHD, multimorbidity, and physical disability. However, the researchers emphasized that the direct association between ADHD and physical health outcomes remained significant.

“Clinicians should be aware of the increased rates of physical health problems and associated disability in people with ADHD and should proactively address potential contributing health risk factors,” they wrote. “Integrated interventions addressing mental health, physical health, and key health risk factors may help to reduce chronic conditions in this population.”

The JAMA study analyzed data from the population-based 1970 British Cohort Study, which included people born in England, Scotland, and Wales during the same week in 1970, with follow-up data collected over 46 years.

Increased Mortality Risk for People with ADHD

Untreated physical health problems and co-occurring conditions could reduce the life expectancy of people with ADHD at a higher rate than seen in the general population. A January 2025 study published in The British Journal of Psychiatry comparing the mortality rates of people diagnosed with ADHD to people without ADHD found that the life expectancy for women with ADHD is 8.6 years shorter than that of women without ADHD, while the life expectancy of men with ADHD is 6.8 years shorter. ²

“Adults with diagnosed ADHD are living shorter lives than they should,” the study’s authors wrote. “We believe that is likely caused by modifiable risk factors and unmet support and treatment needs in terms of both ADHD and co-occurring mental and physical health conditions.”

Exercise Interventions Improve Long-Term Mental Health

A 2023 treatment survey of 11,000 ADDitude readers reported positive benefits of exercise. About half of the respondents who exercise regularly rate this ADHD treatment as “extremely” or “very” effective. A staggering 94% of caregivers and 95% of adults recommend exercise to treat ADHD symptoms. However, only 13% said a doctor had recommended exercise to reduce symptoms, and just 37% said physical activity was part of their treatment plan.

“When I get into a good stride with routine exercise, it almost always goes hand-in-hand with better eating habits, better focus, energy levels, mental clarity, and stronger relationships and productivity,” said one adult with ADHD. “Exercise is undoubtedly a crucial piece of the (treatment) puzzle.”

“Depression can really take hold of my 10-year-old son,” one parent said. “We see great improvements after physical activity. He enjoys the elliptical, rower, spin bikes, automatic stepper, and treadmill.”

A new meta-analysis including 18 studies further explores the potential of exercise as an effective adjunctive approach for improving mental health in individuals with ADHD when it is integrated into a multimodal treatment plan that includes pharmacotherapy, behavioral therapy, or psychoeducation.
Exercise interventions produced small-to-moderate improvements in depressive symptoms, anxiety, and emotion regulation in individuals with ADHD, according to the study published in Frontiers in Psychology.

Mind-body integrated exercises, such as yoga and tai chi, significantly improved both depression and anxiety symptoms compared to physical exercises (e.g., structured fitness or sports without a mindfulness component), which did not show significant improvements across outcomes.

The researchers suggest that this advantage may stem from the “mind-body integration” of activities like yoga. By combining physical movement with breath awareness, focused attention, and present-moment acceptance, mind-body exercises directly target emotional dysregulation and attentional control, which are core components of ADHD.

Results from the meta-analysis found that adolescents with anxiety who practiced mind-body exercises experienced the greatest improvements. While children showed moderate improvement, the results were not statistically significant. These discrepancies could be due to developmental differences: Adolescents may be better able to engage with and benefit from the psychological components of exercise, while younger children may require more play-based or gamified approaches.

In addition, the most statistically significant reduction in depressive symptoms occurred from moderate-intensity exercise, whereas low-intensity and high-intensity exercises did not demonstrate measurable benefits for depression, anxiety, or emotion regulation.

While intervention length varied widely (from single sessions to 20-week programs), with no clear differences emerging across durations, single sessions demonstrated immediate short-term anxiety-reducing effects. However, to sustain benefits, longer-term participation may be necessary, the researchers suggest.

They emphasized that the study’s overall findings should be viewed as hypothesis-generating rather than definitive. “Because study designs and exercise protocols varied considerably, the results should be interpreted cautiously, and more rigorous research is needed before definitive clinical guidelines can be established,” they wrote.

Sources

¹Stott, J., O’Nions, E., Corrigan, L., Cotton, J., Donnellan, W.J., et al. (2026). Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder Traits in Childhood and Physical Health in Midlife. JAMA Netw Open. https://doi.org/10.1001/jamanetworkopen.2025.54802

²O’Nions, E., El Baou, C., John, A., Lewer, D., Mandy, W., McKechnie, D.G.J. et al. (2025). Life expectancy and years of life lost for adults with diagnosed ADHD in the UK: matched cohort study. The British Journal of Psychiatry. https://doi.org/10.1192/bjp.2024.199

³Shenning, Z., Yaoqi, H., Wenying, S., and Xiangqin, S. (2026). The effect of exercise interventions on mental health in children and adolescents with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder: a meta-analysis. Front. Psychol. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2026.1748777

Reserve your spot in this free webinar, and get the event replay link plus a 15% discount to ADDitude magazine

Not available April 2nd? Don’t worry. Register now and we’ll send you the replay link to watch at your convenience.

Emotional distress includes feelings of anxiety, low mood, worry, rumination, and self-criticism. For people with ADHD, as well as those facing chronic stress, it can stem from changes in relationships, work, caregiving demands, health problems, or challenges to life satisfaction. When we feel prolonged uncertainty, our distress can become self-perpetuating. Heightened emotional reactions lead to overthinking and avoidance, which ultimately limit meaningful action and personal growth.

In this webinar, Doug Mennin, Ph.D., introduces ideas aligned with emotion regulation therapy, a research-based approach designed to help people better understand and respond to emotional distress. Rather than trying to erase difficult emotions, this approach focuses on changing how we relate to them so that we can move forward with greater clarity, flexibility, and purpose.

In this webinar, you will:

• Understand emotional distress through a motivation and emotion-regulation lens, including why anxiety and depression often feel so hard to shift
• Recognize common patterns like worry, rumination, and self-criticism that keep distress going
• Build mindful awareness of emotions, body sensations, and internal conflicts without becoming overwhelmed by them
• Develop practical skills to step back from intense thoughts and feelings and see them more clearly
• Use emotion-regulation strategies to support meaningful actions, even when emotions are uncomfortable

Have a question for our expert? There will be an opportunity to post questions for the presenter during the live webinar.

Webinar Sponsor

Emotional dysregulation can make everyday triggers feel bigger and harder to manage. Play Attention, inspired by NASA technology and backed by Tufts University research, strengthens executive function and self regulation so adults can respond with greater calm and control. With a personalized plan and expert coaching, Play Attention supports lasting change. Take our ADHD assessment or schedule a consultation today.

www.playattention.com

ADDitude thanks our sponsors for supporting our webinars. Sponsorship has no influence on speaker selection or webinar content.

Emotional Dysregulation in Adults: Resources

• • • Free Download: Emotional Regulation & Anger Management Scripts
    • Read: Everything You Never Knew About the ADHD Brain
    • Read: Does ADHD Emotional Dysregulation Ever Fade?
    • Read: After the Shame: How to Re-Center Your Bruised Emotions

Meet the Expert Speaker

Doug Mennin, Ph.D., is a Professor of Clinical Psychology and Director of Clinical Training of the Clinical Psychology Ph.D. Program at Teachers College, Columbia University. He earned his Ph.D. from Temple University in 2001 and has previously held positions in the Department of Psychology at New York University, Yale University, and CUNY Hunter College, where he was Co-Director of the Health Psychology and Clinical Science PhD training program. In his academic role, Professor Mennin has trained numerous graduate students and post-baccalaureate research assistants on diagnosis, assessment, and treatment of anxiety and mood disorders. He has published more than 150 articles, chapters, and books and is the developer of Emotion Regulation Therapy (ERT). He regularly leads workshops to help people better understand and respond to their struggles with anxiety, worry, and depression. He currently serves on the editorial board of six journals and has been on the executive boards of the APA Division of Clinical Psychology, the Society for a Science of Clinical Psychology, and is the former Chair of the Scientific Council of the Anxiety and Depression Association of America (ADAA).

Certificate of Attendance: For information on how to purchase the certificate of attendance option (cost $10), register for the webinar, then look for instructions in the email you’ll receive one hour after it ends. The certificate of attendance link will also be available here, on the webinar replay page, several hours after the live webinar. ADDitude does not offer CEU credits.

Closed captions available.

This quiz is designed for you and your partner to take together. You’ll take turns answering questions specific to your role.

Use this scale for both sections:

• Never = 0 points
• Rarely = 1 point
• Sometimes = 2 points
• Often = 3 points

Note: This quiz is not scientific. It is intended to help couples identify some of the key issues and ways in which ADHD might impact their relationship negatively and positively.

Melissa Orlov created this quiz. She is the founder of ADHDmarriage.com and the author of The ADHD Effect on Marriage.

Time's up

Can’t see the self-test questions above? Click here to open this test in a new window.

Healthy Relationships and ADHD: Next Steps

• Free Download: Manage ADHD’s Impact on Your Relationship
• Read: Stop Walking On (or Throwing Down) Eggshells in Your Relationship
• Read: “My Partner Is Refusing an ADHD Evaluation”

SUPPORT ADDITUDE
Thank you for reading ADDitude. To support our mission of providing ADHD education and support, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our content and outreach possible. Thank you.