Your Small Wins Playbook for Big Change

We sabotage our best intentions when we saddle new resolutions with these common ADHD traps: thinking too big and expecting overnight change.

Ever optimistic, the ADHD brain assumes that it will hit the gym seven days a week, even after a long track record of doing the opposite. It believes it will craft elaborate, gourmet dinners every night after months of DoorDash and frozen pizza. It imagines it will wake up every day at the crack of dawn after a lifetime of hitting the snooze button.

When we inevitably fail to overhaul our lives at breakneck speed, we feel ashamed and overlook our efforts. This leads us into perhaps the most damaging trap of all: self-criticism.

Great change starts with small wins – and small victory laps. For ADHD brains, every step forward deserves recognition and celebration. Begin by following this advice:

BJ Fogg, Ph.D., a behavioral scientist and author of the popular book Tiny Habits (#CommissionsEarned), outlines this process for lasting change:

After I [do my current habit], I will [do a teeny, tiny behavior toward my new habit]. Then I will celebrate by _____.

For example: After I brush my teeth, I will floss around one tooth. Then I will celebrate by giving myself a high-five.

You might think it’s silly to celebrate after flossing just one tooth. But ‘winning,’ in this context, is not about flossing all your teeth one time; it’s about building the habit of flossing consistently, which is no small feat. Give yourself extra credit for flossing more teeth but remember: all effort and consistency is worth celebrating. Once you’ve solidified the daily habit of flossing one tooth, you can gradually build up to more, celebrating each step, until flossing every tooth becomes second nature.

Whatever the habit, celebrate each hard-earned win along the way with a self-hug, a short dance, a high-five, a small treat, or an “I knew you could do it!”

 [Get This Free Download: The ADHD Healthy Habits Handbook]

Cheering for yourself might feel unnatural if you’re used to self-criticism. But over time, celebrating will begin to feel authentic and genuinely encouraging – key ingredients for successful change. As Fogg writes, "I change best by feeling good, not by feeling bad."

Resist the urge to tackle everything at once. Instead, focus on the area of your life that causes you the most stress. Once you’ve made steady progress with that helpful habit, move on to the next.

Successful habit builders adopt a narrow focus and a clear purpose. Do you want to wake up super early because a self-help guru told you to, or do you want to get out of bed 15 minutes earlier to enjoy a calmer start to your day?

[Read: How to Forge Stick-with-It Habits]

List every idea — practical or ridiculous — that could help you reach your goal. Then refine the list until you’re left with a few tiny actions that each take no more than 60 seconds to implement. Need inspiration? Use AI tools like ChatGPT or GoblinTools to brainstorm ideas.

Sample Brain Dump: How to Get Up on Time

• ask a friend to call me
• sleep with open curtains so sunlight wakes me
• only hit snooze twice
• pay my friend $10 for every minute I oversleep
• have my partner shake me awake
• hire a marching band
• drink water after waking
• buy a runaway alarm clock
• lure myself up with a nice cappuccino
• go to bed 10 minutes earlier
• sleep in workout clothes

When building habits, expect to adjust your tiny behaviors, especially if your consistency starts to slip. Ask yourself: What does this behavior need to look like so I’m guaranteed to do it?

For example, I got myself to drink more water by taking a sip from a full glass I’d leave in the fridge. But after a few days, the glass became invisible to me. To fix this, I started using glasses in different colors and added a “drink me” sticky note as a backup.

Slipping up is actually a win — each glitch shows you what doesn’t work, giving you a chance to tweak the process toward (near) perfection.

The true power of tiny habits and small wins lies in how they build your self-belief. When you succeed in a way that works for your brain, you’re more likely to trust your ability to tackle other challenges. Give yourself grace throughout the process, and always celebrate the fact that you showed up for yourself.

Small Wins: How to Be Consistent with ADHD

• Read: How to Change Habits — 4 Ways to Make New Behaviors Stick
• Free Download: 18 ADHD-Friendly Ways to Get Things Done
• Read: The Willpower Workout — 5 Ways to Stop Impulses and Distractions

Linda Roggli is a professional certified coach and author of Confessions of an ADDiva: Midlife in the Non-Linear Lane. (#CommissionsEarned)

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