Emotions & Shame

How to Control Your Emotions and RSD in Real Time

When RSD hits, it hits hard. Use this guide to manage intense emotions in the moment.

By Sharon Saline, Psy.D. Updated on December 10, 2025
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You sent the text message 28 minutes ago, and still no response. You see the tidal wave of rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD) cresting and feel powerless to stop it. You know, logically, that your friend’s silence does not mean they suddenly hate you. But the physical pain of betrayal feels real and unbearable and stronger than you.

The sensitive ADHD brain is wired to overreact. Big feelings flood your brain and fill it to capacity, blunting your ability to cope. Co-occurring conditions, like anxiety and mood disorders, may also intensify RSD and further degrade your coping abilities.

Use the following strategies to control your emotions, including RSD, in real time. Remember that key to better regulation is to practice coping skills even in times of calm.

⚡ Free Download! Scripts to Use When Emotionally Dysregulated

1. Turn Down the Volume

When RSD is coming at you fast, slow down those intense emotions — and allow the rational part of your brain to recover — with the following strategies:

  • Acknowledge that you’re activated, then look for a healthy distraction; if you’re in a social setting, find a friend who can take your focus off your internal noise.
  • If you’re caught off guard, buy yourself time to respond to an offhand remark or question with a canned response like, “That’s interesting. Let me think about it and get back to you.”
  • Try a few rounds of triangle breathing; breathe in for four counts, hold it for four counts, exhale for six.
  • Think QTIP (“quit taking it personally”). Consider the source — sometimes, a comment is simply a thoughtless one.
  • Close your eyes and think of somebody who cares about you. What would they say to you in this moment?

2. Change Your Relationship to Worry

  • Adopt a nickname for your worry. Always remember that you are not your worry; you are simply experiencing it. To help you disentangle from worry, treat it like a visitor.
  • Talk to the feeling.  Say, “Worry, I understand that you feel like I can’t handle this, but I’ve got it. You can quiet down now.”
  • Rejection may be the price of entry. In the interest of self-preservation, RSD might drive you to avoid situations where rejection and criticism are expected, as in the case of learning a new skill or standing up to lead a group. Do your best to look at your “why” when facing these situations. Think, “I’m willing to take a risk and see what happens.”
  • You’ve survived it all. You’ve demonstrated resilience every time you survived and succeeded in the face of discomfort, rejection, and failure. Dig through your memory bank for those moments and think of the steps you took then to cope and overcome.

❗ Essential Read: How to Stop Catastrophizing

3. Prioritize Self-Care and Wellbeing

Continue to build your foundational toolkit. Your RSD strategies will work best when your mental health is being treated. Take your prescribed ADHD medication (and meds for other conditions), practice mindfulness, reduce stress, and do more of what you love.

Build satisfying social connections. The loving presence of caring and supportive friends and family is kryptonite to RSD. Surround yourself with like-minded people who accept you unconditionally. When meeting new people, take the pressure off by enjoying connection for connection’s sake. Show genuine curiosity and know that everyone has insecurities.

Redirect your attention to all things good. RSD warps perceptions and can make you feel like there is something fundamentally wrong about you. Tip the scales by noticing positives in yourself and around your life — an exercise both in mindfulness and resilience. Make it a daily habit to think of three good things that happened to you. And instead of catastrophizing, think, “What could go right?”

The content for this article was derived from the ADDitude ADHD Experts webinar titled, “RSD Toolkit: Strategies for Managing Your Sensitivities in Real Time” [Video Replay & Podcast #476] with Sharon Saline, Psy.D. which was broadcast on October 19, 2023.

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