Q: “I’m Fine at Work, But Bed Rot at Home”
“When we lack structure and direction, overwhelm kicks in. We freeze and shut down — the perfect storm for bed rotting.”
Q: “I have great systems for getting things done at work. But as soon as I get home, everything falls apart and I succumb to bed rotting. I can’t motivate myself to get chores done or complete personal projects. How do I find energy after work to get things done?”
First, give yourself credit for finding structures that help you at work. Many people with ADHD spend a lifetime trying to keep it together on the job, so bravo to you.
Structure is key. You’ve found it at work, where your priorities and goals are clear. You know what to do and when, which keeps you accountable. Home is different for many of us. We face a never-ending list of tasks and have to set our own structures and progress markers. (Perhaps that’s why the term “bed rotting” has caught on among young adults who are still learning how to structure their lives.) When we lack structure and direction, overwhelm kicks in. We freeze and shut down — the perfect storm for bed rotting.
[Free Download: Finish Your To-Do List Today]
Among all the things you’d like to tackle after work, ask yourself:
- What matters most to me?
- What’s one thing I want to see change?
- Can I devote just 10 minutes to it?
Choose a single area — whether it’s a cleaner bedroom, more physical activity, or learning a new cooking skill. Trying to change multiple things at once usually backfires. Finding energy after work is easier when you focus on one thing that truly matters to you.
Look for creative, out-of-the-box ways to build accountability and maintain momentum. Laundry may be no fun, but talking to a friend or listening to a podcast while you separate darks and lights can help the time pass. Some people with ADHD swear by keeping their shoes or work clothes on when they get home, changing only after chores are crossed off the list. Breaking a dreaded task down into smaller components can also improve initiation and follow-through. Instead of cleaning the entire kitchen, what about starting with the dirty dishes only? Then you’ll see how it feels to make some progress and can start on the wiping down the stove.
[Read: How to Forge Stick-with-It Habits]
It comes down to putting “have-tos” before “want-tos.” You might tell yourself, “I really hate doing laundry, but I know I won’t regret having clean clothes. So I’ll start a load, then reward myself by scrolling on my phone.”
Bed Rotting and ADHD: Next Steps
- Read: How to Not Procrastinate When Task Avoidance Strikes
- Read: Why ADHD Minds Struggle to Meet Goals with Action
- Read: How to Recharge Your Tired Brain After Work
The content for this article was derived, in part, from ADDitude’s “Solve My Problem!” sessions with Sharon Saline, Psy.D.
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