Symptom Tests for Adults

[Self-Test] Were You Raised by Emotionally Immature People?

Answer these questions to determine if your parents showed telltale signs of emotional immaturity—egocentricity, guilt-tripping, favoritism, lack of boundaries, invalidation, and more.

Amy Marlow-Macoy, LPC
By Amy Marlow-MaCoy, LPC Updated on February 11, 2026
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During your childhood, did your parents lack empathy or accountability, ignore boundaries, engage in emotional outbursts, have huge egos, or specialize in guilt tripping?

Parental emotional immaturity manifests in many ways that can significantly influence a child’s well-being. As adults, children of emotionally immature parents may carry resentment, have difficulty navigating relationships with their parents and others, and may inadvertently continue the cycle with their own children.

Answer these questions to determine if you were raised by emotionally immature people. For each question, select the response that best matches your experience growing up. Add up your points at the end for a total score.

As a child, I was saddled with adult responsibilities that were not age-appropriate (e.g., missing school to take care of my siblings or acting as a therapist for my parents).

When I expressed my feelings or thoughts, my parent(s) often dismissed them or responded as if my experiences weren’t real or valid.

As a child, whenever I met a goal or fulfilled a promise (like getting good grades), my parent(s) would move the goal posts and tell me it wasn’t good enough.

My parent(s) put their needs and desires above their children’s.

My parent(s) were intrusive and used guilt to persuade me to change my decisions, from relationship matters to my chosen career path.

Arguments with my parent(s) were frequently left unresolved and, afterward, it was if nothing happened; they moved on without any discussion or closure.

My parent(s) twisted my words or created arguments based on things I never said or implied.

Gifts or financial help from my parent(s) often came with strings attached and the threat of withdrawing support if I didn’t comply.

My parent(s) held grudges about things I had done wrong over the years, using them to guilt-trip me.

I felt as if I had to prove myself to my parents through achievements or a willingness to meet their expectations.

Can’t see the self-test questions above? Click here to open this test in a new window.

The questions in this resource were derived from the ADDitude ADHD Experts webinar, “Healing from the Impact of Toxic or Emotionally Immature Parents,” [Video Replay & Podcast #557]  with Amy Marlow-MaCoy, LPC. This self-test is intended for personal use only. It is not intended as a diagnostic tool. 

Emotionally Immature Parents: Next Steps

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