Emotions

7 Emotional Regulation Workouts for Neurodivergent Kids

If your child’s emotions are overwhelming or dysregulated, practice these exercises to build their self-control.

By Steven Tobias, Psy.D. Updated on February 18, 2026
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Children displaying various emotions.
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Emotional Regulation Activities for Neurodivergent Kids

Because emotional regulation and social skills develop slowly in many neurodivergent children, they need opportunities to refine these skills so they can maintain control when tough situations inevitably arise. And there’s no better place to practice than in the safety of your home.

Try these seven exercises to help your child manage big feelings and build self-control while cooperating with others.
Different emotions represented by cut-out illustrations.
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1. Define Feelings

Help your child more accurately name their emotions to better express them and problem solve. Explain the differences of each emotion in the following ways:

  • Anger: How you feel when you’ve been hurt or wronged. Cool it by taking slow breaths, counting to 10, squeezing a stress ball, or another calming activity. Then decide if you can fix the problem or let it pass.
  • Disappointment: You didn’t get what you hoped for (like the part in the school play or the last cookie). It’s OK to feel down, but then focus on what is in your control. Think, “What can I learn for next time?”
  • Frustration: You’re having a tough time reaching a goal (like solving a math problem or shooting a basketball into the hoop), but it doesn’t mean the goal is out of reach. Keep at it, think of different solutions, take a break, or ask for help.
  • Sadness: Something or someone you care about is gone or different (a pet dies, summer ends). Sadness is normal and nothing to be ashamed of when you feel you’ve lost something. Ask for a hug, do something comforting (like draw), and talk about the person or thing with a loved one.
  • Worry: You think something bad will happen that you can’t handle. Turn down the volume on what-ifs by asking, "What is the worst thing that can happen? How likely is it to happen? What steps can I take to prepare, and what can I let go of?” Face the event with confidence that you’ll be able to handle it if it doesn’t go as planned. (Remember that confidence doesn’t mean proceeding without fear, but facing difficulties despite of fear.)
  • Boredom: Moments of understimulation are normal, but this state can sometimes be a cover for anxiety and sadness. Try giving your brain a spark—build or draw something, try a new game. Talk to someone you trust if the feeling doesn’t go away and everything starts to feel dull.
A child acting out an emotion as part of a game of charades for better emotional regulation.
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2. Play Charades

Best played with younger kids, this game challenges them to take turns acting out an emotion while everyone else tries to guess what it is.

[Get This Free Download! 5 Ways to Improve Emotional Control at Home]
Breathing exercises help promote emotional regultaion.
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3. Teach Breathing Techniques

Emotions live in the body and the mind. Adrenaline forces us to take shallow breaths, keeping the body tense and reactive. Breathing deeply calms the body. Have your child try this: Breathe in for three counts, hold for three, and exhale for five. Repeat until calm.
Children in school having a conversation and practicing social skills.
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4. Explain How to Be Your BEST

Use this acronym to help your child recognize social-emotional cues and express their needs. Ask them to consider:

  • Body language: What are my posture and movements conveying? Do I seem calm? What is the other person’s body saying?
  • Eye contact: Am I giving this person my full attention? Explain to your child that eye contact facilitates connection and communication. Keep in mind however, that eye contact is not possible or healthy for all children and should never be forced.
  • Saying appropriate things: Are my words on topic? What do the other person’s words reveal about their feelings?
  • Tone of voice: Does my tone convey respect? What tone are others using? Do I hear sarcasm or real concern?
A parent validating their child's feelings and practicing active listening.
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5. Use Active Listening

After a rough day, let your child vent. Paraphrase their words so they know you’re listening. Then clarify the triggering situation together and help them see it more accurately.
A family bonding over dinner. Conversations allow children to practice social and emotional skills.
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6. Spur Dinner Table Conversation

Have each family member answer a few prompts: “What made you happy today?” “What made you laugh?” This activity uses regulation skills: Your child must process the question, wait their turn to speak, respond appropriately, and remember what others said.

[Free Download: Questions to Get Your Child Talking]
A child thinking.
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7. Think E-S-P

  • Evaluate the problem. The better you understand your child’s source of consternation, the better your chances of solving it.
    • Example from a child’s perspective: I want more time to play video games, but my parents won’t allow it unless my grades improve. I felt angry at first, but once I calmed down, I realized I was really feeling frustrated. School is hard for me, and I don’t know how to raise my grades.
  • Select a goal. What outcome are we seeking and what is reasonable? Then...
  • Proceed with a plan. What steps will help your child reach their goal? For the example above, encourage them to ask their teacher(s) for help. Find a tutor. Have your child use a planner to track homework. When they turn in homework on time, allow them extra time to play video games (or another preferred activity).

Even with these strategies, nothing will be more effective for your child’s emotional regulation than empathy. Validating your child’s emotions goes a long way toward soothing big feelings. Showing your child that you hear their concerns conveys respect and strengthens your bond with them.

Emotional Regulation for Kids: Next Steps

Steven Tobias, Psy.D., is the director of the Center for Child & Family Development in New Jersey.

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