A Love Letter to My Dad
“We wrote this to give parents hope. They have enormous agency and power to affect the outcomes of their kids’ lives.”
Diagnosed with autism at age 5, Leland “Lucky” Vittert weathered bullying and even rejection as he cycled through seven schools in 12 years. There were no birthday party invitations. No sleepovers. No friends.
Today, Vittert is a NewsNation TV anchor and author of a book with Don Yaeger. Born Lucky: A Dedicated Father, A Grateful Son, and My Journey with Autism (#CommissionsEarned) illuminates the ferocity of parental love and support in the face of adversity. Here, he speaks with ADDitude.
Q: Why did you write this book with your dad, and why now?
LV: We wrote this to give parents the hope that my parents didn’t have when I was diagnosed. I had behavioral issues and sensory issues. My parents were told by an expert that it was difficult to know what was going on in my mind and that they couldn’t do much for me.
Born Lucky is a love letter to my dad, who encouraged me to reach my full potential. It follows the arc of my development from not being able to understand human interaction to being able to get along and function in the real world. We want parents to know that they have enormous agency and power to affect the outcomes of their kids’ lives.
Q: Can you talk more about the challenges of growing up autistic and how, as you say in the book, it led you to become resilient?
[Is My Child on the Autism Spectrum? Take This Test To Learn More]
LV: I was in and out of four schools by fifth grade. Two weeks into seventh grade, the principal told my parents, “Everyone in this school thinks Lucky is weird and, frankly, I do too.”
I had lots of meltdowns. If a kid touched me in line, I’d turn around and hit them because touch felt very threatening to me. If kids were being serious, I’d tell a joke. I didn’t understand how to interact, and the rejection was so persistent and stinging that I cried myself to sleep every night.
My dad was my best and only friend. He gave me an immense amount of love and care, and he always made me go to school the next day. My parents were very clear that I could not expect the world to change for me. This made me resilient. I always say the best training for the Washington newsroom was middle school!
In 2021, I had just been asked to leave by my employer, Fox News, had broken up with my longtime girlfriend, and was living in my parents’ guest bedroom. My dad and I were talking one night, and I was feeling sorry for myself. He said, “If you could get up and go to school day after day as you did in eighth grade, you can get through this.”
[Get This Free Download: What Are Your Teen’s Weakest Executive Functions?]
Q: How did you build the social skills you felt you needed to interact with people?
LV: I still struggle every day with the things my dad and I worked on for 15 years: how to listen, how to understand where someone else is coming from emotionally, how to match that emotion.
My dad used to take me to lunch with his friends, and, when I was talking too much, rather than say, “Be quiet,” he’d tap his watch as a cue for me to stop. Later, we’d talk about it. He’d say, “When you interrupted Mary to talk about something else, why did you think that’s what she wanted to talk about?” I’d say, “Well, that’s what I wanted to talk about.” Then we’d role-play. He was teaching me how to interact with others. Social dynamics are innate for other people. For me, they’re a learned skill.
Q: What qualities do you credit for your success as a TV anchor and now author?
LV: I was taught that you can control just two things in life: your character and your hard work. I was taught to work like hell. When I started in journalism, my quest was to outwork everybody. It’s hard to beat a man who won’t quit.
Parental Love: Next Steps
- Free Download: Help Your Child Develop Positive Self-Talk
- Read: Your Positive Parenting Toolkit Has Arrived
- Read: Autism and ADHD: The Complete Playbook for Social Challenges
- Read: A Dad’s Role in Modeling Social Skills
Leland Vittert is the anchor of On Balance with Leland Vittert at NewsNation.
Carole Fleck is Editor-in-Chief at ADDitude magazine.
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