Q: “Why Does the ADHD Label Trigger My Family?”
“People who react negatively to ‘ADHD’ often don’t understand what it entails. And in a time when labels are discussed frequently on social media, some people who would be otherwise compassionate may be skeptical or dismissive of what you’re trying to say about your life with ADHD.”
Q: “Every time I try to talk about ADHD to my friends or family, they tell me that I shouldn’t label myself. They point to my life achievements and say that if my ADHD were that bad, I wouldn’t have survived in corporate America and so on. It seems as if they get triggered when I talk about my ADHD. It leaves me feeling invalidated and like I have no one in my corner.”
This sounds like a very difficult situation. Whether your loved ones are judging you or trying to reassure in their own way (as in suggesting that you’re doing better than you think), their approach has left you feeling unseen.
ADHD Is More Than Most Know
People who react negatively to “ADHD” often don’t understand what it entails. And in a time when labels are discussed frequently on social media, some people who would be otherwise compassionate may be skeptical or dismissive of what you’re trying to say about your life with ADHD.
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Your loved ones may come around if you explain that the label is helpful for you because it captures experiences — including challenges — that you thought were unique to you but point to a biologically based condition.
Detail Specific Challenges
Try describing the particular areas of your life that ADHD impacts most. Whether you struggle with emotional regulation or time management, framing ADHD in terms of concrete challenges can make it easier for others to understand. Over time, they may come to see what ADHD really is – a condition that affects executive functioning, the brain processes that allow us to plan, organize, prioritize, control impulses, focus, and manage our lives. We all have executive functioning strengths and challenges, but for people with ADHD those challenges are usually more severe and can cause problems regularly.
Find Neurodivergent Support
Your journey to managing ADHD is personal and valid, irrespective of others’ opinions. While support from loved ones is valuable, I also urge you to connect with neurodivergent peers who know what it’s like to walk in your shoes. There are tons of online communities where neurodivergent people share advice, strategies, and validation. These groups can help normalize your experiences and remind you that you are not alone.
Understanding ADHD: Next Steps
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