“11 Grounding Techniques That Help Me Regulate”

At 54 years old, the stressors of midlife — fielding extreme career pressures, navigating others’ needs, and grieving the loss of my parents — collided with hormonal changes and left me feeling like I was coming undone. My doctor gently suggested an ADHD evaluation, and seven hours of clinical testing later, my diagnosis was confirmed. It was a new personal layer to reckon with after a diagnosis of complex post-traumatic stress disorder (C-PTSD) years prior.

I started to connect the dots between my struggles with sleep, focus, time management, and emotional regulation. I also began to see the influence of C-PTSD’s hypervigilance differently. What did it mean to live with ADHD and a nervous system that was always bracing for impact?

Regulation is the foundation of everything, I’ve learned. Though these conditions I live with are about dysregulation to their core, I’ve managed to create a toolkit of grounding techniques and other calming strategies that work for me. Some days are still messy, but I am much steadier overall. I invite you to try these techniques for yourself.

I try not to look at my phone first thing in the morning. Instead, I set a timer and free write for 10 minutes, followed by 20 minutes of meditation.

To balance myself before the day begins, I assess my emotional, intellectual, spiritual, and physical aspects with the Hoffman Quadrinity Check-In.

Intentional breathing calms the body’s fight/flight/fawn response and helps to stop spirals and looping.

Living in the mountains above Boulder, Colorado, I benefit from lying on the rocks in the icy river water of Boulder Canyon. Cold immersion activates the vagus nerve, reduces inflammation, and improves sleep — benefits I’ve felt deeply.

[Read: “Why We’re Drawn to Beaches, Gardens, and Forests”]

Sitting against a tree with bare feet and hands on the earth grounds me. This practice lowers my stress, blood pressure, and anxiety.

Savoring your meals — noticing the textures, aromas, and combination of flavors — is an excellent way to slow down and tune in to your body’s cues. Late-night sugar binges that left me foggy and depleted were how I coped with overwhelm. Eating with awareness helped curb this habit.

I close browser windows every night so I don’t start the next day overwhelmed by open tabs on my screen.

Intentional screen time is the ideal, but I know it’s easy for me to succumb to chasing emails, responding to social media pings, or otherwise falling into Internet rabbit holes. I also know that scrolling increases my anxiety. Reading a physical book, even if for a few pages, is a mindful, engaging, and calming activity.

[Read: 6 Ways to Stop Doom Scrolling]

I’d often punish myself for ADHD symptoms like procrastination and low motivation, even on tasks that matter deeply to me. When I feel the shame spiral coming on, I ask myself: What might make this feel 10% easier? Sometimes the answer is breaking the task into smaller pieces. Sometimes it’s setting a 25-minute timer. Sometimes it’s just listening to someone else talk about their process and realizing I’m not alone.

I’ve found a sense of belonging in support groups that I didn’t know I needed. People shared experiences speak from the heart. They name things I thought only I felt. I’ve learned that isolation makes the noise in my head louder. Community helps me regulate.

In addition, I pay more attention to the people with whom I spend time. If someone consistently drains me or creates drama, I give myself permission to step back. Protecting my energy is as important as protecting my focus.

Being in a healthy partnership has been essential. My husband is patient, curious, and supportive. He’s taken the time to research ADHD and C-PTSD, so he understands my challenges. His love and compassion help me regulate and feel safe in ways that no strategy alone could provide.

Learning about rejection sensitive dysphoria helped me understand why even small bits of criticism used to send me into overdrive — over-performing, over-giving, and exhausting myself in the process.

Now, when I feel rejected, I check in with someone who loves me unconditionally to gain perspective on the situation. I’ve also learned to let go of people, places, and situations that only add stress. Granted, I’m still practicing the art of staying in my lane.

Grounding Techniques: Next Steps

• Free Download: The ADHD Healthy Habits Handbook
• Read: How I Calm My Dysregulated ADHD Nervous System
• Read: 9 Calming Strategies for a Racing, Restless Mind

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