I ask my son to eat his breakfast for the tenth time.

Questions spill out of him faster than I can answer — reasons, rituals, invisible tasks his brain insists must come first. A million distractions orbit him. I don’t even think it has registered that there is food in front of him, or that his body is hungry. But he is hungry, nonetheless.

I spit out another reminder, this one sharpened at the edges with frustration. I know I should be calm. Patience always works best — except when it doesn’t. Some days it feels like nothing works. Not gentleness. Not firmness. Not the version of me I try so hard to be.

His younger brother spots a toy abandoned on the floor and picks it up, innocent in the simple way younger siblings are — he just wants to play.

I see it before it happens, steam practically rising from my eldest like a cartoon about to erupt. The scream. The charge. A growl too wild for such a small body.

[Read: The Exhaustion Problem in Extreme Parenting]

His hand lifts and lands hard against his brother’s face. The sound seems louder than it should be. The little one hits the floor, and the air leaves him in a broken gasp before the tears arrive.

Now there are explanations, consequences, and a timeout. And now my two sons are screaming. The youngest because he has been hurt, and the oldest because he has been stopped.

“I hate you, Mum.”

The words come through gritted teeth, and they break my heart every single time. I try to ignore them, but they keep coming, each one sharper than the last.

I scoop the little one into my arms. “He can’t control his big feelings yet, honey,” I tell him about his neurodivergent brother. “Sometimes they spill out into hitting hands. I’m so sorry that happened to you.”

Then the baby cries.

[Read: “How to End Sibling Fighting Peacefully”]

Only eight months in this world and already fluent in urgency. Surely it can’t be nap time — she just woke up, didn’t she? I glance at the clock. Two hours have passed since I first said, “Please eat your breakfast.”

The house comes into focus all at once — toys scattered like confetti, stuffing from a slaughtered teddy trailing across the floor courtesy of the dog, laundry slumped in the corner, dishes stacked dangerously high, the kitchen island buried beneath clutter.

I don’t know where to begin.

The baby needs sleep. The chores need doing. My eldest is still simmering, striking out at everyone — myself included. I am trying my best. Still, I feel like I am drowning.

The dog barks at the postman, startling the baby into louder cries. I rock her gently. She eventually softens. Feeds. Sleeps. At last — quiet.

The boys sit absorbed in their screens while their sister rests. The dog snores at my feet. The house is finally still, but the mess presses down on my shoulders like a weight I cannot shrug off.

Inside my head, a relentless narrator begins its daily recital: Everything you haven’t done. Everything you should be doing. Everything you are failing to be.

Other moms manage. Why can’t you? You should exercise. Eat better. Be more patient. Be more organized. Be more. Be more. Be more.

But I am exhausted. Drained down to the marrow. I look around at the chaos, the silence, the impossible list of things waiting for me. I’ve already had enough, and it’s only 11 a.m.

Raising Neurodivergent Children: Next Steps

• Read:Overwhelmed Mom Syndrome — It’s a Real Thing
• Read: “It’s Hard Being the Mother of Electricity. And Also Quite Dazzling.”
• Read: “The Secret Grief of Raising a Chronically Dysregulated Child”

SUPPORT ADDITUDE
Thank you for reading ADDitude. To support our mission of providing ADHD education and support, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our content and outreach possible. Thank you.

Excessive screen time and social media use exacerbate ADHD symptoms and may impact brain development in children with the condition, according to two new studies.

Social media (e.g., Snapchat or Instagram) use gradually increases symptoms of inattention in children with ADHD, with a cumulative four-year effect, a new study published in Pediatrics Open Science found. ADHD symptoms alone, however, did not predict a rise in social media use. Further, playing video games or watching television and videos did not increase the risk of developing ADHD symptoms. The study found the opposite: Children who played video games or watched television and videos experienced reduced hyperactivity and impulsivity. ¹

“We can only speculate about the mechanisms underlying the association between social media use and increased inattention symptoms,” the researchers wrote. “Social media platforms often involve constant messaging and notifications, which can disrupt attention and interfere with current activities. Experimental studies have shown that such interruptions, or even the mere presence of a mobile phone nearby without using it, can impair attention and learning on psychological tests.” ²

In contrast, cognitively engaging exercises (e.g., activities requiring strategy, coordination, and quick decision-making, such as team sports or martial arts) significantly improve sustained attention in children and adolescents with ADHD, according to a new systematic review and meta-analysis published in the Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders. ³

The Pediatrics Open Science study examined the longitudinal associations between ADHD symptoms in 8,324 children who participated in the Adolescent Brain Cognitive Development (ABCD) study and various types of digital media. The researchers tracked the children from ages 9 or 10 for 4 years.

Over that time, children spent an average of

• 3 hours/day watching television/videos
• 4 hours/ day on social media
• 5 hours/day playing video games

At age 9, children spent approximately 30 minutes per day using social media. The time spent on social media rose to 2.5 hours by age 13, despite the fact that most platforms, such as Facebook and TikTok, require users to be 13 years or older. While the yearly effect size of 0.15 is considered statistically small for a single child, it can have substantial consequences at the population level.

“Together, these results strengthen the potentially causal link between social media use and changes in inattention symptoms,” the researchers wrote.

Another recent study using advanced MRI imaging and ABCD data from more than 10,000 children in the same age range found similarly negative outcomes when examining the broader effects of screen time. The study, published in Translational Psychiatry, found an association between extended screen exposure and changes in brain structure that may exacerbate ADHD symptoms in children.⁴

The researchers observed that children with high screen use had reduced cortical thickness and volume in the right putamen, an area of the brain involved in reward processing and habit formation, as well as changes in the prefrontal cortex, which is involved in focus, emotional regulation, and decision-making. Such changes in brain structure may make it more difficult for children to pay attention and regulate their behavior, which are two prominent features of ADHD.

“Our results indicate a partial mediating effect of cortical volume in the relationship between screen time and ADHD symptoms,” the researchers wrote. “Specifically, longer screen time was associated with smaller cortical volume, which in turn was linked to more severe ADHD symptoms, suggesting that cortical volume may partially explain this association.”

At the two-year follow-up, screen time remained a significant predictor of ADHD symptoms in children, even after controlling for baseline ADHD symptoms as covariates. However, causality could not be established since the results were derived from cross-sectional analyses of the ABCD baseline data.

Social Media Risks

Both studies align with a 2023 U.S. Surgeon General advisory calling social media a “profound risk of harm” to the mental health of children and teens.

According to an ADDitude survey of 1,187 caregivers, 72% of children aged 10 and older with ADHD use social media. Of those, 35% reported adverse mental health effects, including anxiety, sadness, sleep problems, and depression. These negative outcomes are about 70% higher than those seen in adolescents who don’t use social media. In addition, 15% of adolescents with ADHD who use social media reportedly experience eating problems, and 14% have engaged in self-harm. Those numbers are much higher for girls.

“Neurodivergent people, especially those with the focus and self-regulation challenges associated with ADHD, could have a harder time regulating their emotions and unplugging from screens,” said Linda Charmaraman, Ph.D., during the ADDitude Mental Health Out Loud episode “The Mental Health Fallout from Social Media Use.”

Charmaraman recommends that caregivers talk openly with their children about their online experiences to help them become more mindful of their social media use and its effects.

“Avoid judgmental, disproportionate responses when your child comes to you with a social media-related issue,” she said. “Often, tweens and teens will keep things to themselves, afraid that their parents will tell them to deactivate their social media profiles or take away their devices altogether at the first hint of a problem. Should an issue come up, approach with curiosity and collaborate with your teen on a solution.”

Sources

¹Nivins, S., Mooney, M.A., Nigg, J., Klingberg, T. (2026). Digital media, genetics, and risk for ADHD symptoms in children: a longitudinal study. Pediatrics Open Science. https://doi.org/10.1542/pedsos.2025-000922

² Van Der Schuur, W.A., Baumgartner, S.E., Sumter, S.R., Valkenburg, P.M. (2015). The consequences of media multitasking for youth: a review Comput Human Behav. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.chb.2015.06.035

³Zhao, M., Li, J., Xu, R.H. et al. (2025). The impact of exercise interventions on sustained attention for children and adolescents with ADHD: A systematic review and meta-analysis. J Autism Dev Disord. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10803-025-07187-y

⁴Shou, Q., Yamashita, M. & Mizuno, Y. (2025). Association of screen time with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder symptoms and their development: the mediating role of brain structure. Transl Psychiatry. https://doi.org/10.1038/s41398-025-03672-1

Reserve your spot in this free webinar, and get the event replay link plus a 15% discount to ADDitude magazine

Not available April 14? Don’t worry. Register now and we’ll send you the replay link to watch at your convenience.

Executive functioning skills — the brain-based internal skills that drive focus, planning, self-regulation, working memory, and follow-through — develop differently and often slowly in children with ADHD. This can result in disorganization, inconsistent effort, missing assignments, emotional outbursts, and heavy dependence on adult prompts and reminders.

In this practical, strategy-packed webinar, ADHD & executive function specialist Michael McLeod will break down why executive function challenges show up in daily life and academics — and how educators and parents can build true independence by strengthening a child’s internal skills that drive performance. Attendees will learn how common problems (messy backpacks, “I forgot,” not starting work, rushing, shutting down, low frustration tolerance) connect to specific executive function skill gaps, such as self-awareness, self-regulation, working memory, planning, and self-evaluation.

Michael will also share actionable, real-world methods to reduce reliance on prompts and accommodations, while increasing student engagement and ownership, using concrete classroom examples, guided “prediction” strategies, and simple structures that support follow-through. Participants will leave with a clear roadmap and usable tools that help students move beyond “getting by” and toward long-term independence at school and at home.

In this webinar, you will learn:

• About the brain-based reasons behind executive function delays in ADHD and how this impacts academics and daily functioning
• To identify the internal executive function skills driving performance and what specific struggles reveal about skill gaps
• How to increase engagement and participation and focusing less on dependence on prompts and reminders
• How to use practical strategies to strengthen working memory, self-regulation, planning, and follow-through in real time
• How to shift from accommodations alone to skills-based independence—without power struggles or shame

Have a question for our expert? There will be an opportunity to post questions for the presenter during the live webinar.

Executive Functioning Skills : Resources

• • • Free Download: Could You Have Executive Function Disorder?
    • Read: How to Sharpen Executive Functions: Activities to Hone Brain Skills
    • Read: Your Brain’s GPS Is Glitchy: Why Working Memory Fails and How to Bolster It
    • Read: 10 Ways to Improve Your Teen’s Executive Skills
      

Meet the Expert Speaker

Michael McLeod is an ADHD & Executive Function Specialist, award-winning trainer and keynote speaker, and the founder of GrowNOW ADHD, a nationwide organization providing executive function coaching, parent training, and school professional development. He is the creator of GrowNOW’s Internal Skills Model, which helps educators and families build self-regulation, self-awareness, self-motivation, and self-evaluation to drive meaningful independence and success. Michael works with students, parents, and schools across the country and is known for translating cutting-edge neuroscience into practical, high-impact strategies that can be implemented immediately in classrooms and homes.

Certificate of Attendance: For information on how to purchase the certificate of attendance option (cost $10), register for the webinar, then look for instructions in the email you’ll receive one hour after it ends. The certificate of attendance link will also be available here, on the webinar replay page, several hours after the live webinar. ADDitude does not offer CEU credits.

Closed captions available.

Today, Vittert is a NewsNation TV anchor and author of a book with Don Yaeger. Born Lucky: A Dedicated Father, A Grateful Son, and My Journey with Autism (#CommissionsEarned) illuminates the ferocity of parental love and support in the face of adversity. Here, he speaks with ADDitude.

Q: Why did you write this book with your dad, and why now?

LV: We wrote this to give parents the hope that my parents didn’t have when I was diagnosed. I had behavioral issues and sensory issues. My parents were told by an expert that it was difficult to know what was going on in my mind and that they couldn’t do much for me.

Born Lucky is a love letter to my dad, who encouraged me to reach my full potential. It follows the arc of my development from not being able to understand human interaction to being able to get along and function in the real world. We want parents to know that they have enormous agency and power to affect the outcomes of their kids’ lives.

Q: Can you talk more about the challenges of growing up autistic and how, as you say in the book, it led you to become resilient?

[Is My Child on the Autism Spectrum? Take This Test To Learn More]

LV: I was in and out of four schools by fifth grade. Two weeks into seventh grade, the principal told my parents, “Everyone in this school thinks Lucky is weird and, frankly, I do too.”

I had lots of meltdowns. If a kid touched me in line, I’d turn around and hit them because touch felt very threatening to me. If kids were being serious, I’d tell a joke. I didn’t understand how to interact, and the rejection was so persistent and stinging that I cried myself to sleep every night.

My dad was my best and only friend. He gave me an immense amount of love and care, and he always made me go to school the next day. My parents were very clear that I could not expect the world to change for me. This made me resilient. I always say the best training for the Washington newsroom was middle school!

In 2021, I had just been asked to leave by my employer, Fox News, had broken up with my longtime girlfriend, and was living in my parents’ guest bedroom. My dad and I were talking one night, and I was feeling sorry for myself. He said, “If you could get up and go to school day after day as you did in eighth grade, you can get through this.”

[Get This Free Download: What Are Your Teen’s Weakest Executive Functions?]

Q: How did you build the social skills you felt you needed to interact with people? 

LV: I still struggle every day with the things my dad and I worked on for 15 years: how to listen, how to understand where someone else is coming from emotionally, how to match that emotion.

My dad used to take me to lunch with his friends, and, when I was talking too much, rather than say, “Be quiet,” he’d tap his watch as a cue for me to stop. Later, we’d talk about it. He’d say, “When you interrupted Mary to talk about something else, why did you think that’s what she wanted to talk about?” I’d say, “Well, that’s what I wanted to talk about.” Then we’d role-play. He was teaching me how to interact with others. Social dynamics are innate for other people. For me, they’re a learned skill.

Q: What qualities do you credit for your success as a TV anchor and now author?

LV: I was taught that you can control just two things in life: your character and your hard work. I was taught to work like hell. When I started in journalism, my quest was to outwork everybody. It’s hard to beat a man who won’t quit.

Parental Love: Next Steps

• Free Download: Help Your Child Develop Positive Self-Talk
• Read: Your Positive Parenting Toolkit Has Arrived
• Read: Autism and ADHD: The Complete Playbook for Social Challenges
• Read: A Dad’s Role in Modeling Social Skills

Leland Vittert is the anchor of On Balance with Leland Vittert at NewsNation.

Carole Fleck is Editor-in-Chief at ADDitude magazine.

SUPPORT ADDITUDE
Thank you for reading ADDitude. To support our mission of providing ADHD education and support, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our content and outreach possible. Thank you.

Chronic stress, high rates of co-occurring conditions, and unhelpful school and clinical interventions are common among individuals living with pathological demand avoidance (PDA), according to the first-ever comprehensive survey exploring the lived experience of PDA.¹ The survey found that failure to meet the needs of children and adults with PDA results in difficulties at school, at work, and in relationships, often leading to family breakdown and estrangement, school refusal, underemployment, and mental health struggles.

The 2,000 survey respondents comprised three groups: caregivers of children and teens with PDA; caregivers of adults with PDA; and adults with PDA themselves. Though the ripple effects of PDA on education, work, and family life varied across these groups, the core characteristic of PDA remained strikingly stable, with the “resistance to being told what to do” emerging as the most commonly reported trait across all groups.

For children, school was one of the realms most dramatically impacted by PDA; 88% of children with PDA experienced school avoidance or refusal at some point, and 40% struggled to attend school most days. While 70% of children with PDA had IEPs/ 504 Plans, only 17% of caregivers found these to be “very helpful.”

For adults with PDA, family life and mental health were major areas of struggle, with almost a quarter of adults with PDA, and/or their caregivers, reporting family estrangement. Nearly 60% of adults with PDA reported experiencing thoughts of suicide.

Understanding PDA

In a recent ADDitude webinar, “Don’t Tell Me What to Do: Pathological Demand Avoidance in Neurodivergent Kids,” Diane Gould, LCSW, founder and executive director of PDA North America, discussed the degree to which PDA is misunderstood. She explained that core features for children include:

• Resisting and avoiding ordinary demands of life
• Difficulty complying with the requests or rules of others
• Difficulty making themselves do the things they want to do
• A fundamental need for control

Because of this difficulty with compliance, Gould said: “PDA individuals are so often undiagnosed or misdiagnosed. Adults and teens are often misdiagnosed as having bipolar or borderline personality disorder. Children are misdiagnosed with oppositional defiant disorder or conduct disorder.”

As the report’s authors write: “PDA is not about ‘refusing to cooperate,’ but about the need for autonomy, safety and survival.”

A Dearth of Effective Interventions

This lack of awareness about PDA has resulted in a notable dearth of effective interventions.

“Across surveys, no single intervention was consistently rated as helpful, highlighting the need for better tailored approaches for PDA individuals,” write the report’s authors. Moreover, the report found that encounters with affirming, informed providers were rare, and that caregivers and adults with PDA infrequently received helpful, validating guidance. According to survey results:

• The most helpful interventions were medication management and occupational therapy
• The least helpful interventions were Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) and emergency room visit
• 94% of caregivers reported that punishment can worsen behaviors

“Probably the hardest thing for parents to talk about was how hard they tried to follow all the advice that they were given from therapists, psychiatrists, pediatricians, teachers, and even parenting books,” Gould said. “But those strategies didn’t work, and often made things worse.”

The report’s authors explain that PDA-informed care involves “respecting autonomy at any age, reducing pressure and unnecessary demands, planning for sensory needs, and using relationship-based, responsive approaches.”

Common Co-Occurring Conditions

PDA commonly co-occurs with neuropsychiatric conditions, most frequently autism, ADHD, or both.

The Impact of PDA on Education

Chronic, severe difficulty attending school is the norm for children and teens with PDA. The survey revealed the following:

As Reported by Caregivers of Kids

• 88% of children with PDA experienced school avoidance or refusal at some point
• 4 in 10 children struggled to attend school most days
• 1 in 5 reported suspensions
• 1 in 10 was not currently accessing any education
• 70% had an IEP or 504 Plan
• Just 1 in 6 found their IEP/ 504 Plan to be “very or extremely helpful”

Despite these consistent difficulties, adults with PDA overwhelmingly report having received a high school diploma, with the majority also earning a four-year college degree.

As Reported by Adults

• 96% completed an education equivalent to a high school diploma
• 83% had a four-year college degree<

The Impact of PDA on Work

While adults with PDA struggle to attend work regularly, and experience episodes of under- or unemployment, the vast majority are employed. A high percentage of PDA adults are self-employed, which helps alleviate work-based challenges:

As Reported by Caregivers of Adults

• Two-thirds reported employment at some point
• More than half reported periods of unemployment or underemployment

As Reported by Adults

• 97% of adults reported employment at some point
• Among these, 55% had a history of self-employment
• 80% reported challenges with workplace attendance
• Two-thirds reported periods of unemployment or underemployment

The Impact of PDA on Family

Family life is strained for those with PDA, whether adults or children. This finding is vividly illustrated by Lisa McKay’s experience, as described in the ADDitude article, A Parent’s Guide to Navigating Pathological Demand Avoidance.

“During his early years, Max would frequently refuse to do what was asked of him and insist everything be done his way,” McKay writes. “He would inexplicably melt down or erupt in anger over seemingly minor issues.”

The survey measured the extent to which these areas of life are affected by PDA:

As families navigate these turbulent, murky waters, validation and accurate information about what works for PDA — and what doesn’t — is key.

“Commonly suggested behavioral strategies for neurodivergent children — from setting clear rules to using checklists, visual timers, and liberally doling out praise — didn’t help.” McKay says. “In fact, all they seemed to do was set up further power struggles where everyone lost.”

McKay’s experience is echoed over and over again by the findings of the survey. “This report makes clear that the challenges families face are not due to a lack of effort or care, but to systems that are not designed with PDA in mind,” said Ruth Hevelone, PDA North America’s director of Strategic Growth & Marketing. “When supports are aligned with how PDA is actually experienced, outcomes can change dramatically.”

Research Team Lead for the PDA report, Michele Kleinmann, added: “We hope this data helps shift conversations away from ‘fixing behavior’ and toward building environments where PDA individuals can feel safe, understood, and supported.”

Sources

¹McKenzie, M., Kleinmann, M., Hevelone, R., & Gould, D. (2026). The PDA Experience Report. PDA North America. https://learn.pdanorthamerica.org/products/digital_downloads/key-findingsPDA-Experience-Report

Do you check out when demands or tensions escalate?

Or do you tend to add fuel to the fire during conflict?

Each and every one of us plays a role in our family. The dances we intuitively fall into when stress hits are often inspired by a primal drive for self-preservation and (though it may not always seem like it) balance.

Our commitment to unspoken familial roles can keep us locked in negative cycles and strain relationships, explained Tamara Rosier, Ph.D., during her ADDitude webinar, “Family Dynamics and ADHD: Challenging Generational Patterns and Power Struggles.”

Here are three takeaways from Dr. Rosier’s webinar to help you understand your go-to family role and how to break dysfunctional patterns.

1. Families are Systems. Stress Causes Imbalance In the System.

Families are systems designed to restore balance, reduce threat, and protect connection. Stress of all kinds — be it coping with a family member’s illness or trying to get everyone out the door in time for school and work — causes imbalance in the system. ADHD and its associated challenges — from emotional dysregulation and RSD to executive dysfunction — can amplify the family stress that causes this imbalance.

2. ADHD Families Tend to Organize Around Four Roles.

• Overfunctioner: The one who takes over, fixes, manages, and anticipates
• Underfunctioner: The one who pulls back, avoids, freezes, or disengages
• Peacemaker: The one who smooths tension, mediates, minimizes, and absorbs
• Intensifier: The one who escalates emotion, raises the urgency or volume of a situation, and calls things out

We don’t all play the same role all the time. We may be the overfunctioner in one situation and the underfunctioner in another. When one role activates, so does another.

Where do ADDitude readers fall? According to a poll of about 700 live webinar participants…

• Overfunctioner: 48%
• Peacemaker: 26%
• Intensifier: 11%
• Underfunctioner: 10%
• Other: 5%

3. It’s Possible to Change Your Patterns.

Roles beget reactionary roles. If you hope for your child to assume responsibility and achieve independence, for example, you need to challenge your own Overfunctioner tendencies.

Change starts with understanding your default role. Ask yourself: What do you do under stress? What feels most familiar?

• Overfunctioner? Pause and ask yourself, “What part of this is actually mine to manage?” Try asking a clarifying question instead of offering a solution.
• Underfunctioner? Replace disappearing with one visible, low-effort action. Think: I can’t do everything, but I can do this one piece.
• Peacemaker? Recognize that your urge to calm situations comes from anxiety. The next time your family undergoes stress (say, an argument between members), name the tension in your head without attempting to resolve it.
• Intensifier? Your message is important, but it’s often not heard due to the volume and timing of your delivery. Your message may land better, for example, during a quieter moment.

Note: Shifting from your go-to role to healthier patterns will take work, but it’s worth it. Anticipate pushback along the way, as not all families respond well to change. Remember that while you can’t control your family, you can control how you respond to events.

Family Relationships and ADHD: Next Steps

• Free Download: Activity Ideas for ADHD Families
• Read: Family Dynamics on ADHD — 5 Rules for Dealing with Relatives’ Judgment
• Read: Did You Grow Up with Emotionally Immature Parents?

SUPPORT ADDITUDE
Thank you for reading ADDitude. To support our mission of providing ADHD education and support, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our content and outreach possible. Thank you.

But structure and boundaries are important for any child, especially one who has ADHD and is prone to boredom. As the school year winds down, start thinking about summer guardrails and expectations that will benefit your child. As a family, discuss these boundaries (think chores and video game limits) and set up an environment to promote desired activities (like borrowing books from the library or playing board games that keep math skills fresh).

Consider these strategies as you develop your summer plan:

1. Save the best for last.

Have your child do chores, academic work, and other “non-preferred” activities during peak focus periods. Reserve fun activities — video games, sports, friend time —for later in the day to teach kids with ADHD to persist.

2. Give kids a choice.

Offering options reduces friction, gives your child control, and encourages cooperation. Provide a menu of activity choices for their morning, afternoon, and evening blocks.

Teens with ADHD need even more choice and control. As summer begins, discuss what you want them to accomplish (e.g., college essay drafts, volunteering) and what they’d like to do or get in return. This might be an extended curfew, a higher allowance, or more friend time, for example. Establish check-in dates to monitor their progress.

3. Know the upside of downtime.

Don’t feel pressured to fill every moment of your child’s summer schedule. Occasional understimulation is beneficial in today’s era of constant stimulation, especially for impulsive, sensory-sensitive children.

4. Prepare a meltdown kit.

Outbursts don’t take summer breaks. Big emotions will decrease as your child’s emotional regulation matures, but you can prepare for them by:

• Remaining calm. It may not seem like it, but your child looks to you for guidance on navigating emotions.
• Staying firm. Meltdowns are ways for children to get adults to reshuffle the deck and present more favorable options. Avoid giving in. Instead, stay with your child’s big emotions. Validate their feelings. Say, “I know it’s hard to stop playing video games and get ready for bed.”
• Developing a pre-meltdown plan. Ask your child, “What should you do when you feel upset?” Keep their answers in an easy-to-see place, along with a list of calming strategies like deep breathing, taking a drink of water, stepping away, or listening to music.
• Delivering consequences. Reserve timeouts and privilege losses for serious behaviors like hitting or throwing. Communicate your rules ahead of time so your child isn’t caught by surprise.

5. Enforce screen time rules.

Ask your child about their favorite apps or games to spark conversations about smart technology use. Incorporate screen time practically and with reasonable limits.

Once you’ve set boundaries for your kids over the summer, think about ways to make space for your own rest and self-compassion — so you can show up as your best self for your children.

Dave Anderson, Ph.D., is a senior psychologist at the Child Mind Institute’s ADHD and Behavior Disorders Center.

SUPPORT ADDITUDE
Thank you for reading ADDitude. To support our mission of providing ADHD education and support, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our content and outreach possible. Thank you.

Highly dependent adult children get stuck in a cycle of emotional and financial reliance on their parents. Many of these adult children are unemployed, not pursuing higher education, and living with their parents despite no physical, neurological, or intellectual disabilities. When their parents attempt to enforce boundaries or require more from their adult children, the explosive, guilt-inducing, or panicked reactions may cause parents to retreat.

Many highly dependent adult children (a less stigmatizing term than failure to launch) meet the criteria for ADHD, anxiety, obsessive-compulsive disorder and/or agoraphobia, but often resist treatment. In this webinar, we will explore the following core symptoms shared by many highly dependent adult children:

• Low distress tolerance
• Poor insight
• Difficulty taking accountability
• Perfectionism that expresses as inaction
• Low self-esteem
• Reality avoidance
• Resentment
• Comfort-seeking
• Risk avoidance

 In this webinar, you will learn:

• About the reasons why adult children who should be living independently are not working or pursuing higher education, despite no physical, neurological, or intellectual disabilities
• How to identify the symptoms of ADHD, anxiety, OCD, and/or agoraphobia, which many of these adult children experience, but often resist treating
• How parents’ patience, generosity, and attention may actually be contributing to their child’s inability to launch into full adulthood
• About sample family plans for breaking maladaptive anxiety patterns, such as seeking reassurance with parents, relying excessively on parents for financial support, and coping with the fear of transitioning into adulthood
• About actionable strategies and innovative solutions for the dependency trap, where parent and adult child behaviors are mutually reinforcing and maladaptive

This webinar is designed for parents and therapists who are seeking to enhance their understanding of highly dependent adult children. Registrants will leave with concrete and innovative solutions for the dependency trap.

Watch the Video Replay

Enter your email address in the box above labeled “Video Replay + Slide Access” to watch the video replay (closed captions available) and download the slide presentation.

Obtain a Certificate of Attendance

If you attended the live webinar on March 24, 2026, watched the video replay, or listened to the podcast, you may purchase a certificate of attendance option (cost: $10). Note: ADDitude does not offer CEU credits. Click here to purchase the certificate of attendance option »

Dependent Adult Children : Resources

• • • Free Download: Free ADHD-Friendly Budgeting Guide
    • Read: Grow Up Already! Why It Takes So Long to Mature
    • Read: 5 Critical Life Skills That Build Independence & Confidence
    • Read: “Mom and Dad, I’m Moving Back Home”
      
      

Meet the Expert Speaker

Natalia Aíza, LPC, is a therapist, parent trainer, writer, and entrepreneur dedicated to facilitating awareness and healing for individuals with OCD and amplifying OCD competency among mental health practitioners. She is the Founder of Kairos Wellness Collective, an innovative therapy center specializing in OCD and Anxiety Disorders. She is the author of Self-Guided Exposure and Response Prevention Therapy for OCD (Zeitgeist Publishers, a division of Penguin) (#CommissionsEarned)
and has a second book, Parenting Highly Dependent Adult Children, scheduled for Fall 2026 release with New Harbinger Publishers. Natalia holds a BA in Literature from Harvard University and an MA in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Palo Alto University.
#CommissionsEarned As an Amazon Associate, ADDitude earns a commission from qualifying purchases made by ADDitude readers on the affiliate links we share. However, all products linked in the ADDitude Store have been independently selected by our editors and/or recommended by our readers. Prices are accurate and items in stock as of time of publication.

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Why do students freeze, shut down, or become emotional in class, even when they have the skills to succeed? Emotional regulation shapes learning, motivation, and engagement. When students understand their emotions and feel supported, they are better able to manage stress, build positive relationships with peers and teachers, and learn in a stable environment.

In this webinar, we’ll examine through case studies and insights from neuroscience what blocks student progress and how educators, caregivers, therapists, and other adults can respond with practical, compassionate strategies. Participants will leave with tools to support emotional regulation and create learning environments that feel safe, supportive and effective.

In this webinar you will learn:

• Why emotions can block students’ abilities to utilize executive functions
• Why planners are not the most effective initial tool when supporting students with ADHD
• About strategies and tools that can be used to help students understand their emotions and monitor their emotional readiness to learn
• About approaches that parents and educators can use to support students who are often emotionally dysregulated

Watch the Video Replay

Enter your email address in the box above labeled “Video Replay + Slide Access” to watch the video replay (closed captions available) and download the slide presentation.

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Brain Balance helps kids, teens and adults with ADHD, learning differences, anxiety & more through our integrative cognitive development and brain wellness program. Our approach combines cognitive, physical and sensory training with nutritional guidance to strengthen and build brain connectivity without the use of medication. Stronger connections translate to improved attention, behaviors, and social-emotional well-being.

ADDitude thanks our sponsors for supporting our webinars. Sponsorship has no influence on speaker selection or webinar content.

Obtain a Certificate of Attendance

If you attended the live webinar on March 18, 2026, watched the video replay, or listened to the podcast, you may purchase a certificate of attendance option (cost: $10). Note: ADDitude does not offer CEU credits. Click here to purchase the certificate of attendance option »

Emotions in the Classroom: Resources

• • • Free Download: Free SEL Program Comparison Tool
    • Read: The ADHD Misconceptions That Stifle Students
    • Read: The Key to ADHD Emotional Regulation? Cultivating Gratitude, Pride & Compassion
    • Read: Teaching Strategies for Students with ADHD: Ideas to Help Every Child Shine
      
      

Meet the Expert Speaker

Gena VanderMeulen, M.A. Ed, ACC, is an academic ADHD coach at the ADHD Center of West Michigan. She draws on more than 30 years of experience as a high school English teacher and specializes in supporting middle school, high school, and college students as they navigate academic systems, build confidence, and rediscover joy in learning.

Gena is a Certified Professional Academic Coach and an ICF Associate Certified Coach (ACC), and she holds advanced credentials in executive function, study strategies, and applied neuroscience. She also holds post-baccalaureate certificates from Landmark College in executive functions and supporting autistic students. Gena is currently pursuing a doctorate at the Bridges Graduate School of Cognitive Diversity in Education in Los Angeles.

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Behavioral interventions are a first-line treatment for elementary school-aged children with ADHD, according to the American Academy of Pediatrics.

Here are two types of classroom behavioral interventions that parents can request and teachers can use alone or in consultation with school psychologists and other staff.

[Free Download: How to Teach Children with ADHD — Classroom Challenges & Solutions]

Preventing Interventions

Use these interventions before disruptive behaviors and challenges mushroom:

• Greet each child individually with daily words of encouragement. Students are motivated to please adults they like and respect, and who like and respect them.
• Review expectations before activities. Many teachers think: Students should know what I expect by now. They may, but many children with ADHD have difficulty applying this knowledge. This external support only takes a minute or two, and it puts the rules at the top of students’ minds.
• Offer a choice of where to work (e.g., in a seat, on the floor), how to learn (e.g., using headphones, with a partner), and what to focus on (e.g., write about any character, select one of two books offered). This allows students to leverage their strengths and enhance their engagement in the classroom.
• Set an achievable goal. A student with a goal is more likely to modify their behavior than a student without one.
• Provide an illustrated step-by-step plan for completing high-priority tasks. For example, how to get started independently in math class and what a student should do if they get stuck on a problem.
• Use a timer that students can easily see. Remember that students with ADHD have internal timers that are underperforming.
• Do a weekly check-in. Ask students about their interests, hobbies, or experiences outside of school to show you care. This positive interaction helps to balance any corrective feedback given later.

Consequence Interventions

These should be connected to a student’s behavior, but they are not disciplinary actions.

• Students with ADHD benefit from external guidance and feedback. Praise tells them, “Yes, do more of this behavior,” and corrective feedback tells them, “Don’t do that again.” Think about praise and corrective feedback as the two bumpers on a bowling alley lane (one on each side). If students receive both, they can roll in the right direction toward success.
• Corrective feedback is most effective when you label the unwanted behavior (e.g., “That’s an interruption; that was disrespectful”). Then link the behavior to expectations: “Remember, we wait until the speaker is done before asking a question.”
• Praise is most effective when it is genuine and behavior-specific.
• Engage in skills practice to allow the student to try the behavior correctly. This also helps them build their “self-control muscles.”
• Provide a consequence/remove a privilege. For example, “You didn’t follow my instructions twice, so you lose the privilege of being a line leader today. Please stand behind Jamal.”
• Encourage problem-solving. Ask the student, “What would help you follow expectations better in this situation?”

These interventions should be used with all students. Importantly, our research shows that teachers do not need to respond to every instance of disruptive behavior with a correction, but if they respond to more than half, rule violations drop significantly over time.

[Click to Download: 10 Teaching Strategies that Help Students with ADHD]

If a student continues to struggle, consider implementing a higher level of service, such as using a daily report card, to build upon interventions and smooth their path forward.

Behavioral Interventions for ADHD: Next Steps

• Free Download: Free Guide to Solving Behavior Problems Rooted in Executive Function Deficits
• Sign Up: Free ADHD Teacher Training Program!
• Read: Could a Behavior Intervention Plan Help Your Student with ADHD? 
• Watch: “Better School Behavior: How to Design and Implement a Positive and Effective Behavior Plan”

Julie Sarno Owens, Ph.D., is a psychology professor and director at the Center for Intervention Research in Schools at Ohio University.

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Sometimes, all of that helps.

Often, it doesn’t.

Having knowledge doesn’t mean that I have endless patience or perfect regulation. Having ADHD means that I struggle with impulse control — like snapping at my children to stop drumming on everything because the noise is overwhelming, even though I know that movement is how they regulate and avoid sensory overload.

It looks like getting frustrated when my child is time blind and late for school for the hundredth time — while I’m also scrambling, overwhelmed, and trying to get myself together in the morning.

When both parent and child are dysregulated, the gap between what you know and what you can do feels enormous. And that gap fills quickly with shame, guilt, and regret —wondering why you can’t be the calm, capable parent your child needs, especially when you “should know better.”

💡 Free Download! A Survival Guide for Parents with ADHD

But parenting a child with ADHD when you have ADHD isn’t about getting it right or having it all figured out. It’s about building a relationship that can hold imperfection, honesty, and repair. Some days will be hard. Some moments will still unravel. But when we name our needs, laugh at our shared quirks, and meet overwhelm with compassion instead of shame, something shifts: ADHD stops being a problem to manage and becomes a natural part of the family dynamic.

Here are four parenting shifts that have made all the difference in my family.

1. Honor your limits. It’s not about trying to be regulated all the time — it’s about learning to notice when I’m not. When I pause, name my limits, and step away before I’m flooded, I’m better able to support my children without shame or reactivity. Taking care of myself first isn’t selfish; it’s preventative.

2. Be transparent. I’ve learned the power of being transparent with my kids in age-appropriate ways. Saying things like, “My brain feels overwhelmed right now, and I need a few minutes to reset” does wonders to de-escalate the moment. It also models something many children with ADHD rarely see — that overwhelm isn’t something to hide, apologize for, or power through. It’s something you can recognize, name, and respond to with care.

💡Read: 4 Rules for Taking a Mom Rage Break

Over time, this kind of modeling also reduces stigma. My kids don’t see their overwhelm as strange or wrong, but as a signal. They’re learning that it’s OK to voice their needs and to take steps to meet them. In those moments, the goal isn’t perfect regulation, it’s shared understanding.

3. ADHD is not taboo. We talk about ADHD openly in my family. It’s not something we whisper about when things are hard. It’s part of how we understand ourselves and each other. My daughter and I often laugh about how our brains never seem to slow down — how one word during a conversation can remind us of a lyric from years ago and cause us to break out into song. These moments of connection remind us that our brains work similarly, and that similarity can be joyful.

4. Seek neurodivergent experiences. We’ve also found connection through identity-affirming books — stories that reflect neurodivergent characters, big feelings, and brains that don’t fit neatly into boxes. Reading these together gives us language without pressure. It opens doors to conversations about overwhelm, creativity, and regulation without framing anything as “wrong” or needing fixing. Seeing ourselves reflected in stories builds understanding and closeness and reinforces that ADHD isn’t something to hide.

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The executive functioning difficulties that often accompany ADHD can make simple routines and tasks feel harder than they should for many parents and children with the condition. But what if the most effective way to support your child’s executive function development is to strengthen your own skills first?

In this webinar, parents will learn how to shift from a behavior-management mindset to a skills-development framework. We will examine how a parent’s emotional regulation, flexibility, and organization directly shape a child’s ability to develop these same skills. Parents will learn how strengthening their own executive function capacities creates the relational and neurological conditions necessary for their child’s growth.

In this webinar, you will learn:

• How ADHD affects executive functioning in adults and children
• About the common causes of a meltdown — from transitions, to developing routines, to tasks that challenge emotional regulation — and how to intervene effectively
• About a practical framework for modeling executive function skills, so children can internalize these through experience
• About the POWERS principle, Give the Gift to Get the Gift, and its application to daily parenting challenges
• Strategies to reduce reactivity and power struggles while increasing consistency, connection, and follow-through
• How to move beyond crisis management and build a more sustainable, skill-based approach to supporting children with ADHD — and reduce parental burnout

Watch the Video Replay

Enter your email address in the box above labeled “Video Replay + Slide Access” to watch the video replay (closed captions available) and download the slide presentation.

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Play Attention improves executive function, attention, behavior, and performance, supported by Tufts University research. With NASA inspired technology brought to your living room, we deliver a customized program for children and adults. Your dedicated Focus Coach tailors your plan. Home or professional options available. Schedule a consultation or learn more at www.playattention.com.

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ADDitude thanks our sponsors for supporting our webinars. Sponsorship has no influence on speaker selection or webinar content.

Obtain a Certificate of Attendance

If you attended the live webinar on March 12, 2026, watched the video replay, or listened to the podcast, you may purchase a certificate of attendance option (cost: $10). Note: ADDitude does not offer CEU credits. Click here to purchase the certificate of attendance option »

Executive Function Training: Resources

• • • Free Download: Could You Have an Executive Function Disorder?
    • Read: What Is Executive Function? 7 Deficits Tied to ADHD
    • Read: You Can’t Train Away ADHD Executive Dysfunction
    • Read: Your Executive Functions Are Weak. Here’s Why.

Meet the Expert Speaker

Dr. Tamar Z. Kahane is a licensed clinical psychologist and the founder and clinical director of The Kahane Center, an integrated mental health practice providing comprehensive psychological and neuropsychological services. She has more than 25 years of experience working with children, adolescents, adults, and families.

A nationally recognized expert and clinical pioneer in social cognition, ADHD, and executive functioning, Dr. Kahane is the developer of POWERS, a social-emotional learning and executive functioning curriculum that has been piloted in public and private schools. Her work emphasizes practical, skills-based strategies that actively integrate parents into their children’s treatment.

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Andrew, 10, becomes physically aggressive and destroys things at home when he doesn’t get his way. His parents seldom hold him accountable because they believe he’s incapable of consistent self-regulation, even though this behavior is not exhibited in school or elsewhere.

Bella, 8, threatens to hurt herself when her parents try to limit her screen time. They give in and allow excessive screen use, even canceling family plans, because they fear she might follow through.

[Read: Brick Wall, Jellyfish, or Backbone — What Type of Parent Are You?]

These aren’t illustrations of “bad parenting.” Instead, they’re examples of parental empathy dysregulation, a pattern in which the parent-child hierarchy is turned upside down. Children, through their behaviors, control their parents. This typically happens when parents believe their child is too emotionally fragile to handle limits or age-appropriate expectations, so they tolerate and accommodate problematic behaviors.

Parental Accommodation Leads to Escalating Behaviors

Many parents of children with ADHD have been misled to believe that using an authoritative parenting approach (love and empathy combined with clear limits) will somehow harm the parent-child relationship. Some caregivers cannot tolerate their child feeling temporarily upset with them. Others fear the fallout from their child’s emotional dysregulation or believe their child’s life is too hard already.

Research shows that accommodating a child’s emotional reactions increases emotional and behavioral problems. Those behaviors intensify when children learn that distress or threats lead to getting what they want. In some families, this escalates into what I call severe tyrannical behaviors: property destruction, child-to-parent or child-to-sibling violence, or threats of self-harm. The child learns to use these behaviors to control the home, and the longer they go unaddressed, the more normalized they become.

[Read: 19 Authoritative Parenting Tips for Raising Neurodivergent Children]

From Emotional Reactivity to Parental Proactivity

The good news is that this cycle can be broken. The first step is to help parents view their child as capable and not fragile. Kids with ADHD can handle limits and meet expectations, especially when those expectations are clear and consistent. Discomfort is part of growth, and all feelings are temporary.

I teach a protocol to help parents proactively manage emotional dysregulation when the child is not getting their way. This includes:

• Not giving attention or emotional reactivity to negative behaviors
• Recognizing desired behaviors
• Taking a firm stance against poor treatment of family members or other behaviors that cause family stress

I also teach parents how to change their responses to their child’s behaviors. This includes shifting parents’ expectations so that screen time, expensive items, and privileges are treated not as entitlements but earned, and enlisting trusted adults to check in with the child during challenging moments, The aim is not to punish, but to say, “I know what’s going on. I care about you. What can I do to help?”

In many families of children with ADHD, a child’s behavior is dealt with reactively (threats of punishment, for example) instead of proactively. No daily expectations, such as helping around the house or treating family members with respect, are implemented. This does not teach a child that they are accountable for their choices. What does? Setting age-appropriate, achievable daily expectations, which helps kids feel emotionally safe, knowing their caregivers are in charge.

Reclaiming parental authority isn’t harsh. In fact, it’s the most compassionate thing a parent can do to help their child discover how capable they truly are.

Permissive vs. Authoritative Parenting: Next Steps

• Watch: “Don’t Tell Me What to Do: Pathological Demand Avoidance in Neurodivergent Kids”
• Read: “A Day in the Life of My Defiant Child”
• Free Download: Why Is My Child So Defiant?

Ryan Wexelblatt, LCSW, is a licensed clinical social worker and the father of a son with ADHD and learning differences. He is the creator of ADHD Dude, which provides parent behavior training.

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If RSD has thwarted your networking and job-seeking efforts, take these steps to manage discomfort and reframe your thoughts.

Think Differently About Networking

Sure, networking can feel awkward and embarrassing, especially if you struggle with low self-esteem. Remember that networking is about making connections and providing mutual help, no matter the career stage.

[Free Download: 8 Dream Jobs For Adults with ADHD]

If networking seems daunting, try setting up informational interviews. These one-on-one meetings emphasize learning, not landing a job, and are a casual, low-pressure way to pick someone’s brain, demystify job titles, and practice people skills. (Many professionals are happy to share their expertise.)

Reach out to professionals on LinkedIn or within your circle whose career trajectories interest you. Your college career center can connect you with alumni who will talk with you.

Don’t Take It Personally

If you haven’t landed a job, it’s not because you’re flawed. Perhaps you were up against strong applicants, or maybe your resume or cover letter needs work. Each of these factors can be addressed. Enroll in skill-building courses, carefully review feedback from hiring managers, and enlist help from friends, family, professionals, or your college career center.

Realize that the hiring decision often comes down to fit and not a judgment of your skills, worth, or potential. As you job search, try not to interpret rejection as a personal attack.

[Self-Test: Could You Have Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria?]

Make a Plan

Applying for jobs is time- and effort-intensive. Creating structure will ease overwhelm and fuel persistence.

• Keep a schedule for writing cover letters, updating your resume, searching job boards, building skills, and so on.
• Schedule breaks, exercise, meals, and other activities that keep you regulated — including time off social media, which can trigger unhelpful comparisons.
• Start and end your day with affirmations that reduce RSD.
  • A ‘no’ to my application is not a ‘no’ to my worth.
  • Every step I take builds resilience, no matter the outcome.
  • Not everyone will respond to my informational interview request, and that’s okay. At least I tried.
  • I’m focusing on what’s within my control.
• Try a change of scenery. Take your laptop to a coffee shop.
• Consider body doubling, which may boost accountability.
• Join online communities of fellow neurodivergent job seekers for insights and support.

Always remember that you are more than any job title.

Fear of Rejection in Job Searches: Next Steps from ADDitude

• Free Download: Understanding Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria
• Read: 7 Self-Defeating Behaviors That Aggravate ADHD – and How to Fix Them
• Read: 4 Steps to Claiming the Career You Deserve

Sharon Saline, Psy.D., is a clinical psychologist and the author of several books.

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