Today, Vittert is a NewsNation TV anchor and author of a book with Don Yaeger. Born Lucky: A Dedicated Father, A Grateful Son, and My Journey with Autism (#CommissionsEarned) illuminates the ferocity of parental love and support in the face of adversity. Here, he speaks with ADDitude.

Q: Why did you write this book with your dad, and why now?

LV: We wrote this to give parents the hope that my parents didn’t have when I was diagnosed. I had behavioral issues and sensory issues. My parents were told by an expert that it was difficult to know what was going on in my mind and that they couldn’t do much for me.

Born Lucky is a love letter to my dad, who encouraged me to reach my full potential. It follows the arc of my development from not being able to understand human interaction to being able to get along and function in the real world. We want parents to know that they have enormous agency and power to affect the outcomes of their kids’ lives.

Q: Can you talk more about the challenges of growing up autistic and how, as you say in the book, it led you to become resilient?

[Is My Child on the Autism Spectrum? Take This Test To Learn More]

LV: I was in and out of four schools by fifth grade. Two weeks into seventh grade, the principal told my parents, “Everyone in this school thinks Lucky is weird and, frankly, I do too.”

I had lots of meltdowns. If a kid touched me in line, I’d turn around and hit them because touch felt very threatening to me. If kids were being serious, I’d tell a joke. I didn’t understand how to interact, and the rejection was so persistent and stinging that I cried myself to sleep every night.

My dad was my best and only friend. He gave me an immense amount of love and care, and he always made me go to school the next day. My parents were very clear that I could not expect the world to change for me. This made me resilient. I always say the best training for the Washington newsroom was middle school!

In 2021, I had just been asked to leave by my employer, Fox News, had broken up with my longtime girlfriend, and was living in my parents’ guest bedroom. My dad and I were talking one night, and I was feeling sorry for myself. He said, “If you could get up and go to school day after day as you did in eighth grade, you can get through this.”

[Get This Free Download: What Are Your Teen’s Weakest Executive Functions?]

Q: How did you build the social skills you felt you needed to interact with people? 

LV: I still struggle every day with the things my dad and I worked on for 15 years: how to listen, how to understand where someone else is coming from emotionally, how to match that emotion.

My dad used to take me to lunch with his friends, and, when I was talking too much, rather than say, “Be quiet,” he’d tap his watch as a cue for me to stop. Later, we’d talk about it. He’d say, “When you interrupted Mary to talk about something else, why did you think that’s what she wanted to talk about?” I’d say, “Well, that’s what I wanted to talk about.” Then we’d role-play. He was teaching me how to interact with others. Social dynamics are innate for other people. For me, they’re a learned skill.

Q: What qualities do you credit for your success as a TV anchor and now author?

LV: I was taught that you can control just two things in life: your character and your hard work. I was taught to work like hell. When I started in journalism, my quest was to outwork everybody. It’s hard to beat a man who won’t quit.

Parental Love: Next Steps

• Free Download: Help Your Child Develop Positive Self-Talk
• Read: Your Positive Parenting Toolkit Has Arrived
• Read: Autism and ADHD: The Complete Playbook for Social Challenges
• Read: A Dad’s Role in Modeling Social Skills

Leland Vittert is the anchor of On Balance with Leland Vittert at NewsNation.

Carole Fleck is Editor-in-Chief at ADDitude magazine.

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But structure and boundaries are important for any child, especially one who has ADHD and is prone to boredom. As the school year winds down, start thinking about summer guardrails and expectations that will benefit your child. As a family, discuss these boundaries (think chores and video game limits) and set up an environment to promote desired activities (like borrowing books from the library or playing board games that keep math skills fresh).

Consider these strategies as you develop your summer plan:

1. Save the best for last.

Have your child do chores, academic work, and other “non-preferred” activities during peak focus periods. Reserve fun activities — video games, sports, friend time —for later in the day to teach kids with ADHD to persist.

2. Give kids a choice.

Offering options reduces friction, gives your child control, and encourages cooperation. Provide a menu of activity choices for their morning, afternoon, and evening blocks.

Teens with ADHD need even more choice and control. As summer begins, discuss what you want them to accomplish (e.g., college essay drafts, volunteering) and what they’d like to do or get in return. This might be an extended curfew, a higher allowance, or more friend time, for example. Establish check-in dates to monitor their progress.

3. Know the upside of downtime.

Don’t feel pressured to fill every moment of your child’s summer schedule. Occasional understimulation is beneficial in today’s era of constant stimulation, especially for impulsive, sensory-sensitive children.

4. Prepare a meltdown kit.

Outbursts don’t take summer breaks. Big emotions will decrease as your child’s emotional regulation matures, but you can prepare for them by:

• Remaining calm. It may not seem like it, but your child looks to you for guidance on navigating emotions.
• Staying firm. Meltdowns are ways for children to get adults to reshuffle the deck and present more favorable options. Avoid giving in. Instead, stay with your child’s big emotions. Validate their feelings. Say, “I know it’s hard to stop playing video games and get ready for bed.”
• Developing a pre-meltdown plan. Ask your child, “What should you do when you feel upset?” Keep their answers in an easy-to-see place, along with a list of calming strategies like deep breathing, taking a drink of water, stepping away, or listening to music.
• Delivering consequences. Reserve timeouts and privilege losses for serious behaviors like hitting or throwing. Communicate your rules ahead of time so your child isn’t caught by surprise.

5. Enforce screen time rules.

Ask your child about their favorite apps or games to spark conversations about smart technology use. Incorporate screen time practically and with reasonable limits.

Once you’ve set boundaries for your kids over the summer, think about ways to make space for your own rest and self-compassion — so you can show up as your best self for your children.

Dave Anderson, Ph.D., is a senior psychologist at the Child Mind Institute’s ADHD and Behavior Disorders Center.

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Why do students freeze, shut down, or become emotional in class, even when they have the skills to succeed? Emotional regulation shapes learning, motivation, and engagement. When students understand their emotions and feel supported, they are better able to manage stress, build positive relationships with peers and teachers, and learn in a stable environment.

In this webinar, we’ll examine through case studies and insights from neuroscience what blocks student progress and how educators, caregivers, therapists, and other adults can respond with practical, compassionate strategies. Participants will leave with tools to support emotional regulation and create learning environments that feel safe, supportive and effective.

In this webinar you will learn:

• Why emotions can block students’ abilities to utilize executive functions
• Why planners are not the most effective initial tool when supporting students with ADHD
• About strategies and tools that can be used to help students understand their emotions and monitor their emotional readiness to learn
• About approaches that parents and educators can use to support students who are often emotionally dysregulated

Watch the Video Replay

Enter your email address in the box above labeled “Video Replay + Slide Access” to watch the video replay (closed captions available) and download the slide presentation.

Webinar Sponsor

Brain Balance helps kids, teens and adults with ADHD, learning differences, anxiety & more through our integrative cognitive development and brain wellness program. Our approach combines cognitive, physical and sensory training with nutritional guidance to strengthen and build brain connectivity without the use of medication. Stronger connections translate to improved attention, behaviors, and social-emotional well-being.

ADDitude thanks our sponsors for supporting our webinars. Sponsorship has no influence on speaker selection or webinar content.

Obtain a Certificate of Attendance

If you attended the live webinar on March 18, 2026, watched the video replay, or listened to the podcast, you may purchase a certificate of attendance option (cost: $10). Note: ADDitude does not offer CEU credits. Click here to purchase the certificate of attendance option »

Emotions in the Classroom: Resources

• • • Free Download: Free SEL Program Comparison Tool
    • Read: The ADHD Misconceptions That Stifle Students
    • Read: The Key to ADHD Emotional Regulation? Cultivating Gratitude, Pride & Compassion
    • Read: Teaching Strategies for Students with ADHD: Ideas to Help Every Child Shine
      
      

Meet the Expert Speaker

Gena VanderMeulen, M.A. Ed, ACC, is an academic ADHD coach at the ADHD Center of West Michigan. She draws on more than 30 years of experience as a high school English teacher and specializes in supporting middle school, high school, and college students as they navigate academic systems, build confidence, and rediscover joy in learning.

Gena is a Certified Professional Academic Coach and an ICF Associate Certified Coach (ACC), and she holds advanced credentials in executive function, study strategies, and applied neuroscience. She also holds post-baccalaureate certificates from Landmark College in executive functions and supporting autistic students. Gena is currently pursuing a doctorate at the Bridges Graduate School of Cognitive Diversity in Education in Los Angeles.

Follow ADDitude’s full ADHD Experts Podcast in your podcasts app:
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Sometimes, all of that helps.

Often, it doesn’t.

Having knowledge doesn’t mean that I have endless patience or perfect regulation. Having ADHD means that I struggle with impulse control — like snapping at my children to stop drumming on everything because the noise is overwhelming, even though I know that movement is how they regulate and avoid sensory overload.

It looks like getting frustrated when my child is time blind and late for school for the hundredth time — while I’m also scrambling, overwhelmed, and trying to get myself together in the morning.

When both parent and child are dysregulated, the gap between what you know and what you can do feels enormous. And that gap fills quickly with shame, guilt, and regret —wondering why you can’t be the calm, capable parent your child needs, especially when you “should know better.”

💡 Free Download! A Survival Guide for Parents with ADHD

But parenting a child with ADHD when you have ADHD isn’t about getting it right or having it all figured out. It’s about building a relationship that can hold imperfection, honesty, and repair. Some days will be hard. Some moments will still unravel. But when we name our needs, laugh at our shared quirks, and meet overwhelm with compassion instead of shame, something shifts: ADHD stops being a problem to manage and becomes a natural part of the family dynamic.

Here are four parenting shifts that have made all the difference in my family.

1. Honor your limits. It’s not about trying to be regulated all the time — it’s about learning to notice when I’m not. When I pause, name my limits, and step away before I’m flooded, I’m better able to support my children without shame or reactivity. Taking care of myself first isn’t selfish; it’s preventative.

2. Be transparent. I’ve learned the power of being transparent with my kids in age-appropriate ways. Saying things like, “My brain feels overwhelmed right now, and I need a few minutes to reset” does wonders to de-escalate the moment. It also models something many children with ADHD rarely see — that overwhelm isn’t something to hide, apologize for, or power through. It’s something you can recognize, name, and respond to with care.

💡Read: 4 Rules for Taking a Mom Rage Break

Over time, this kind of modeling also reduces stigma. My kids don’t see their overwhelm as strange or wrong, but as a signal. They’re learning that it’s OK to voice their needs and to take steps to meet them. In those moments, the goal isn’t perfect regulation, it’s shared understanding.

3. ADHD is not taboo. We talk about ADHD openly in my family. It’s not something we whisper about when things are hard. It’s part of how we understand ourselves and each other. My daughter and I often laugh about how our brains never seem to slow down — how one word during a conversation can remind us of a lyric from years ago and cause us to break out into song. These moments of connection remind us that our brains work similarly, and that similarity can be joyful.

4. Seek neurodivergent experiences. We’ve also found connection through identity-affirming books — stories that reflect neurodivergent characters, big feelings, and brains that don’t fit neatly into boxes. Reading these together gives us language without pressure. It opens doors to conversations about overwhelm, creativity, and regulation without framing anything as “wrong” or needing fixing. Seeing ourselves reflected in stories builds understanding and closeness and reinforces that ADHD isn’t something to hide.

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Be more consistent.
Follow through.
Set firmer boundaries.
Stick to the plan.

But if you are raising a child with ADHD, as I am, you hear these phrases all year long. They come from friends, family members, teachers, neighbors, and strangers who see our children on their hardest days and decide they understand the whole story.

If you were more consistent, your child would behave.
If you enforced consequences, they would learn.
If you just did something different, your child would be fine.

Unsolicited comments about our parenting land like resolutions we never made and quietly turn into failures we carry.

💡 Read: An Unusual New Year’s Guidebook for People Who Think Different

ADHD Parenting Resolutions I Never Chose

I have tried the charts and the routines. I have tried the calm voice and the firm voice. I have tried sticker systems, time outs, time ins, early bedtimes, later bedtimes, warnings, countdowns, and consequences that were supposed to fix everything. I have done these things consistently. I have done them desperately. I have done them while questioning myself every step of the way.

None of them changed the reality of what it is like to raise a child with ADHD.

ADHD is not defiance for the sake of defiance. It is not poor discipline or lack of effort. ADHD is emotional dysregulation so intense it hijacks the body. It is rage that comes without warning. It is despair that feels bottomless. It is not choosing chaos but drowning in it. It is a nervous system flooded to the point that logic cannot reach it.

Still, the advice keeps coming.

If you just followed through…
If you just stopped negotiating…
If you just stayed calm…

Most parenting advice assumes a child who can consistently pause, reflect, and comply. ADHD breaks that assumption. Tough moments and inconsistency will always be part of ADHD, and they cannot be stamped out with discipline like a resolution. That is why well-meaning advice hurts and turns into intrusive thoughts: What am I missing? What am I doing wrong? Why is this still so hard?

 Read: 10 Things People Say to You When You’re Raising an Extreme Child

A Different Kind of New Year’s Resolution

I am not trying to raise a child who looks well-behaved to strangers. I am trying to raise a child who feels safe in his own body. I am trying to teach him that his emotions do not make him bad. I am trying to help him come back from places many adults never see, let alone understand.

The problem is not that ADHD families need better resolutions. The problem is that the world needs a better understanding of what ADHD actually is.

Until that changes, parents like me will keep standing in the wreckage of well-intentioned advice, trying to explain why it does not work, and wondering why we feel like failures while doing some of the hardest parenting there is.

I am done resolving to fix my child.

Instead, I will work to shift how we collectively see ADHD. It is not a discipline problem. It is not a parenting failure. It is a neurological reality that requires compassion, patience, and support. That is the resolution ADHD families truly need.

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Thank you for reading ADDitude. To support our mission of providing ADHD education and support, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our content and outreach possible. Thank you.

Every family develops patterns — familiar relationship “dances” that emerge when stress runs high. In families touched by ADHD, these roles and relationship patterns tend to surface more quickly and with greater intensity. Emotions escalate rapidly. The same arguments happen repeatedly. One person steps in to handle everything while another pulls away. And everyone is left wondering, Why do we keep ending up here?

Tamara Rosier, Ph.D., will provide a clear and compassionate approach to help parents, partners, adult children, and caregivers understand the roles they play and the patterns that repeat — to break free from negative cycles and improve relationships.

In this webinar, you will learn:

• How ADHD affects family systems and pushes us into familiar patterns
• What drives power struggles, and why certain patterns clash under stress
• How emotional sensitivity, working-memory gaps, and quick-reacting nervous systems contribute to ongoing conflict
• How ADHD families often fall into roles like the Overfunctioner, Underfunctioner, Peacemaker, and Intensifier—and how these can lead families into predictable cycles
• Practical tools to shift these patterns and redefine your role in the family

Watch the Video Replay

Enter your email address in the box above labeled “Video Replay + Slide Access” to watch the video replay (closed captions available) and download the slide presentation.

Webinar Sponsor

Brain Balance helps kids, teens and adults with ADHD, learning differences, anxiety & more through our integrative cognitive development and brain wellness program. Our approach combines cognitive, physical and sensory training with nutritional guidance to strengthen and build brain connectivity without the use of medication. Stronger connections translate to improved attention, behaviors, and social-emotional well-being. brainbalancecenters.com

ADDitude thanks our sponsors for supporting our webinars. Sponsorship has no influence on speaker selection or webinar content.

ADHD and Family Dynamics: Resources

• • • Free Download: Get a Grip on Tough Emotions
    • Read: Make It a Family Affair
    • Read: How Rewriting the Past Can Help You Overcome ADHD Shame
    • Read: Recognizing the Stressors That Paralyze ADHD Brains

Obtain a Certificate of Attendance

If you attended the live webinar on February 26, 2026, watched the video replay, or listened to the podcast, you may purchase a certificate of attendance option (cost: $10). Note: ADDitude does not offer CEU credits. Click here to purchase the certificate of attendance option »

Meet the Expert Speaker

Tamara Rosier, Ph.D., is the author of You, Me, and Our ADHD Family: Practical Steps to Cultivate Healthy Relationships, and Your Brain’s Not Broken: Strategies for Navigating Your Emotions and Life with ADHD. (#CommissionsEarned) She has been a college administrator, a professor, a high school teacher, and a faculty developer. As founder of the ADHD Center of West Michigan, Dr. Rosier leads a team of professionals to provide resources for individuals and their families after they receive a diagnosis of ADHD. In her coaching, she helps her clients understand their thinking processes to develop more confidence, smoother communication, closer relationships, and increased academic or work success. She is a board-certified coach (BCC) and is the former president of national association, ADHD Coaches Organization (ACO). #CommissionsEarned As an Amazon Associate, ADDitude earns a commission from qualifying purchases made by ADDitude readers on the affiliate links we share. However, all products linked in the ADDitude Store have been independently selected by our editors and/or recommended by our readers. Prices are accurate and items in stock as of time of publication.

Follow ADDitude’s full ADHD Experts Podcast in your podcasts app:
Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Google Play | Amazon Music | RadioPublic | Pocket Casts | iHeartRADIO | Audacy

He is my son, but he is also my reflection. The scattered thoughts, the lost shoes, the emotions that rise and fall without warning; I know them all. Parenting a child with ADHD while living with it myself feels like steering two race cars at once. Some days we glide forward. Some days we spin out.

I used to think my job was to calm him. The world rewards quiet children and those who can smoothly transition. He was born in motion. He notices everything — the flicker of lights, the hum of the refrigerator, the way a room changes when people get tense. He cannot filter life, and neither can I.

🏠 Read: I Had No Safe Place. Can I Build One for My Son?

When I was young, teachers told me I had potential — if I would only focus. That word, focus, has followed me ever since. I hear it now when I watch my son trying to finish homework or listen to directions that last too long. His eyes glaze over the same way mine used to. I know exactly where his mind goes when it drifts. Everywhere at once.

Living with ADHD is like carrying a thousand radio stations in your head and trying to tune in to one. Parenting a child on that same frequency means the noise never stops. Some days I am patient. Other days I am not. He melts down, and I feel myself melting, too. I tell him to breathe, forgetting I need to inhale, too.

But there is also an understanding between us that words cannot explain. When he cannot describe what he feels, I already know. When others call him impulsive, I see the effort behind his eyes. When he blurts out something too honest, I hear the truth in it. We do not hide emotion well. That might be our biggest flaw and our biggest gift.

There are days when we spiral together, both of us overstimulated and unsure how to stop. But there are also days when we find our rhythm. We walk the dog and talk about everything that crosses his mind. He asks questions faster than I can answer, but I try anyway. Those are the moments that bring peace. I stop trying to change him and start remembering what it felt like to be him.

❤️ Read: The Blessings (and Trials) of Parenting with ADHD

At night, when he finally falls asleep, I think about how hard he works just to make it through the day. People see a boy who cannot sit still. I see a boy who fights invisible battles from morning to night and still finds ways to laugh.

He has made me see my own mind differently. I used to think ADHD made me disorganized and too much. Now I see creativity and empathy in the same traits I once resented. He feels everything deeply, and so do I. Maybe we are not broken. Maybe we just move through the world differently.

Some days I worry about how others will treat him. Other days I believe he will change the world instead of trying to fit into it. His mind is bright and restless. His curiosity has no limits. His energy wears me out but also keeps me alive.

We are mirrors, he and I. His reflection shows me the parts of myself I used to hide and the parts I am finally learning to love. When I help him find calm, I find it too. When I remind him that being different is not wrong, I believe it a little more for both of us.

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Thank you for reading ADDitude. To support our mission of providing ADHD education and support, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our content and outreach possible. Thank you.

SPECIAL NOTE: Due to unforeseen circumstances, this webinar has been canceled. We will notify all registrants if Leslie Josel is able to reschedule this event.

How do we help our children and teens with ADHD take ownership of their time, tasks, and daily responsibilities—without endlessly directing, reminding, and rescuing them? How do we, as parents, step back in a way that strengthens their independence?

In this webinar, ADHD Coach Leslie Josel will show parents how to resist the temptation to jump in with solutions, and instead guide their children to create their own plans, articulate their own answers, and build the executive functioning muscles needed for independence.

She’ll explore how strengthening key executive functioning skills—planning, initiation, and future thinking—creates the foundation for sustainable habit-building and true problem solving. Leslie will also unpack why the word “problem” matters more than we think, and how its overuse can unintentionally send discouraging messages that stall growth and motivation.

Walk away with practical tools and insights that make stepping back feel purposeful and effective.

In this webinar, you will learn:

• How repeatedly labeling something a “problem” can shut down a child’s problem-solving mindset — and what to say instead
• How to use future-focused, empowering verbiage to help your child strengthen initiation, awareness, and internal motivation
• About the 3-Step Habit-Building Model, a simple, brain-based framework that parents can use immediately to help their children create sustainable habits and routines
• Guided questions parents can use to spark independent thinking and reduce over-reliance on adult direction
• How to stop answering questions your child never asked and avoid unintentionally becoming the “manager” of their every move

Webinar Sponsor

Play Attention, inspired by NASA technology and backed by Tufts University research, is designed to strengthen executive function so children can build the skills that support independence, including follow through, flexible thinking, working memory, and self control. Your dedicated Focus Coach will tailor a plan for each family member. Home and professional programs are available. Take our ADHD test and schedule a free consultation to get started. www.playattention.com

ADDitude thanks our sponsors for supporting our webinars. Sponsorship has no influence on speaker selection or webinar content.

Life Skills for Teens: Resources

• • • Free Download: What Are Your Teen’s Weakest Executive Functions?
    • Read: How to Explain ADHD in Positive, Empowering Terms
    • Read: 5 Life Skills Every Young Adult with ADHD Should (Eventually) Master
    • Read: How to Steer Your Teen Without Hovering or Nagging
      
      

Meet the Expert Speaker

Leslie Josel is an award-winning ADHD student and parenting coach. She founded Order Out of Chaos, a virtual company whose mission is to help parents guide their students to success in learning and in life, when her son was first diagnosed with ADHD. She is also the creator of the award-winning Academic Planner: A Tool for Time Management®, a planner that helps students develop time management skills, and the author of three books, including How to Do it Now Because it’s Not Going Away: An Expert Guide to Getting Stuff Done. (#CommissionsEarned)
#CommissionsEarned As an Amazon Associate, ADDitude earns a commission from qualifying purchases made by ADDitude readers on the affiliate links we share. However, all products linked in the ADDitude Store have been independently selected by our editors and/or recommended by our readers. Prices are accurate and items in stock as of time of publication.

Certificate of Attendance: For information on how to purchase the certificate of attendance option (cost $10), register for the webinar, then look for instructions in the email you’ll receive one hour after it ends. The certificate of attendance link will also be available here, on the webinar replay page, several hours after the live webinar. ADDitude does not offer CEU credits.

Closed captions available.

We asked this question to ADDitude readers, and you answered (as always) with depth, empathy, reflection, and resolve. Here are some of our favorite pieces of advice from neurodivergent parents raising neurodivergent kids.

“Try your very, very hardest not to correct every little thing. Kids with ADHD are constantly having their errors pointed out to them. It is up to parents to try to limit the number of corrections children face and give them space to act and react naturally and freely at times.” – An ADDitude Reader

“Their meltdowns are not your meltdowns. They are not a reflection of your parenting, but of emotional dysregulation due to executive dysfunction. Follow predictable routines. And know that what they need in school – breaks, sensory input, visual timers, and reminders – they will also need at home.” – An ADDitude Reader

“I wish I’d known how amplified the need for the basics like nutrition, sleep, and exercise become for children with ADHD.” – An ADDitude Reader

“I would suggest that other parents not fixate on having their kids get all As, but on helping their kids learn to love learning.” – Leigh, South Carolina

Get This Free Download: Conversation Starters for a Stronger Parent-Child Bond

“Find your people – those who provide honest but care-filled, well-intentioned support to your child. And don’t forget to fill your bucket, parents. You are not an endless font of energy!” – Cathy, Texas

“When I picked up my child after school, his teachers were not allowed to come flying at me with all he did wrong unless they were ready to tell me two good things he did that day. (Everyday a child does thousands of amazing things right, no matter how small.) I also asked his teachers to put tape on my son’s desk or tap him on his shoulder when he needed to focus instead of calling out his name and making him feel uncomfortable. Many of his teachers have thanked me and told me they wish they had those tools earlier.” – Mary, New York

“Believe in the power of repair after a rupture. Parenting a kid with ADHD can be exhausting and difficult. You will lose it some days. You can repair and build connections even when this happens.” – Zara, Canada

“When I saw anger in my child, I learned to ask, ‘Are you tired, hungry, or hurting?’” – Stephanie, North Carolina

Read: 19 Tips for Raising Neurodivergent Children

“My husband and I both having ADHD, and our 3-year-old son is on the verge of diagnosis, so we are still trying to figure things out. Having a routine, as much as possible, is our saving grace; even still, some days are better than others, and none of our days are perfect!” – Amy, Virginia

“I have ADHD. I sometimes lose my patience with my child, but it is important to apologize sincerely and directly after things have calmed down, take accountability, and express that I know it was not a good way to respond. I make sure he understands that my reaction does not reflect the love I have for him or his value as a person.” – Camron, Utah

“Seek the voices that are further down this path in whatever format you need — videos, books, blogs, podcasts. They’re all out there.” – Maya, Delaware

“Find the physical thing they enjoy doing – swimming, running, dancing, etc. When they become overwhelmed or defiant, stop everything and have them do that activity. It’ll be much easier to get them to do things after they’ve had a chance to regulate their bodies; this works much better than yelling or trying to convince them verbally. Also, no child wants to do poorly. Find out what is getting in their way and help them develop solutions that get both of your needs and wants met.” – Liz, Texas

“Listen to your children and understand their perspectives. Ask them to investigate with you about what will help them best. Make sure they are part of the process!” – Sarah, Canada

“Trust your gut! You are your child’s best advocate.” – Meghan, New Hampshire

“It is impossible to nurture a neurodivergent child and have them fit a neurotypical world’s expectations. Dump those expectations and align your sense of duty to your relationship with your child. You are not here to serve the world, but to celebrate life as the parent of your child.” – Maya, Canada

“Have patience and self-compassion for yourself. The journey is long, but so worth it. You have been called to protect, help shape, and hold up a precious gem – with its wonderful facets of creativity, color, wisdom, and uniqueness – for the world to see and appreciate.” – Ana, California

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Thank you for reading ADDitude. To support our mission of providing ADHD education and support, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our content and outreach possible. Thank you.

Puberty wouldn’t be puberty without volatile mood swings. Hormonal changes vastly impact emotional dysregulation, and teens with ADHD are more sensitive to these changes.

Puberty influences the presentation of ADHD symptoms, and girls feel this acutely due to hormonal fluctuations through the menstrual cycle. Other realities of adolescence can further help you understand your child’s changing emotions.

1. Emotional reactivity is stimulating. From door slamming to yelling, big reactions are a sign that your teen’s brain is compensating for naturally lower baseline levels of dopamine.

No one makes great decisions when they’re emotionally triggered. This is especially true for teens with ADHD, who feel emotions strongly and can’t rely on fully developed brains to help them regulate and manage their reactions. De-escalating, or at least not further aggravating the situation, is key during tough moments. Validation goes a long way in helping teens find calm.

Get This Free Download: How Well Does Your Teen Regulate Emotions?

2. Context is important. Do emotions flare during transitions between activities, especially from a preferred activity, like playing video games, to a non-preferred activity, like homework? This is a classic ADHD difficulty, no doubt intensified by pubertal changes. Take note if moodiness occurs during periods when your child may be unmedicated, which may signal that they need more coverage.

Is your teen’s defiance and moodiness related to taking medication? If so, maybe they’re experiencing side effects that they haven’t told you about.

3. The teen years are stressful – period. Teens must navigate complicated school demands, social pressures, and an evolving internal world. This takes a toll. After a long day at school, few teens seek to further tax their brains with homework. They may prioritize being with friends or unwinding in other ways because that’s what teen brains are designed to do.

4. The adolescent brain likes to push boundaries. In this time of independence-building and exploration, teens may become more emotionally reactive, anxious, and avoidant when they don’t get to be in control.

Read: 5 Life Skills Every ADHD Teen Should Master

Oppositional behavior is to be expected, but understanding limits and learning to compromise are important parts of development. An appropriate expectation for a teen with ADHD might look like: “If you want to have your phone after school, you’ve got to take your medication every morning.”

5. Changes in sleep patterns may impact mood. Poor sleep impairs functioning and mood. Puberty impacts sleep, as teen brains are built for exploring and don’t necessarily want to settle down. Many teens are also sleep deprived; whether due to homework or excessive screen time, they go to bed late and then wake up early for school, and sometimes even earlier for sports practice and other extracurriculars.

6. Is moodiness persistent? Note changes to your teen’s moods throughout the day and across different settings. Loss of motivation, withdrawal, irritability, a loss in interest in things they used to enjoy, persistent worry, and other behaviors may point to depression or anxiety. Keep open lines of communication with your teen to help you understand the root of their behaviors and feelings. Professional counseling can help your teen develop coping skills and help you as a parent learn how to navigate difficult behaviors.

The content for this article was derived from the ADDitude ADHD Experts webinar titled, “ADHD and Puberty: How Hormones Shape Behavior and Mental Health in Adolescents [Video Replay & Podcast #558] with Paul Mitrani, M.D., Ph.D., which was broadcast on May 15, 2025.

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As much as we remember the sighs, yells, and criticisms, we also remember the moments we were treated with compassion and understanding. The adults in our lives may not have known it, but in those empathetic moments, they were applying the principles of nonviolent communication with us.

Nonviolent communication (NVC) is an approach that children with ADHD and rejection sensitivity respond especially well to, in my view. As a parent with ADHD raising a child with ADHD, it’s an approach I try to embody every day.

What Is Nonviolent Communication?

NVC, created by Marshall Rosenberg, Ph.D., is designed to help people manage conflict (in relationships, work, school, etc.) and express themselves without placing blame, shame, or guilt on others.

NVC centers on four components:

• Observation: focusing on what you see or hear, not on evaluations or labels.
• Feelings: identifying and expressing your actual emotions, not thoughts disguised as feelings.
• Needs: recognizing that feelings arise from needs being met or unmet.
• Requests: asking for clear, specific actions to help meet needs.

[Get This Free Download: How to Respond to Your Child’s Defiance]

There is much more to NVC, but its most important principle is that it requires us to take off our “adult” hats and become equals with our children. As someone who was raised in a household where children were seen, not heard, I know this is easier said than done. But a child cannot learn respect until they experience respect. And children learn to communicate effectively by being communicated with effectively.

5 Ways to Practice Nonviolent Communication with ADHD Kids

Follow these steps to incorporate the principles of NVC into your daily interactions with your child and improve your relationship with them.

1. Use “I” statements.

Instead of: Stop leaving your things everywhere! I tripped over your stuff again! Don’t be so lazy!

Nonviolent reaction: I see your shoes and backpack are on the floor. I feel frustrated when I trip over your things. I also get hurt. Please take the next minute to put your things away.

2. Avoid hyperbole.

Try not to exaggerate your child’s behaviors and avoid absolutes like “always” or “never.” Be mindful of thoughts masquerading as feelings.

Instead of: You always leave the fridge door open and walk away! You never listen to me when I ask you to be more careful. I feel like you just don’t care.

Nonviolent reaction: I came home today and found the fridge door open. I am annoyed that some of our food is now spoiled, and we need to replace it.

[Read: Your Positive Parenting Toolkit Has Arrived]

3. I feel __ because…

Connect your feelings to your needs to help your child see why something matters.

Instead of: Why are you making so much noise? Can’t you see that I’m trying to work?

Nonviolent reaction: I feel tense because I need to focus on my work but keep getting distracted by these noises. Would you lower your voice/tablet volume or move to another room so I can finish?

4. Focus on responsibility, not blame.

Let’s take it back to the open fridge door example of above.

Instead of: The food is all spoiled and it’s all your fault.

Nonviolent reaction: We’ll need to buy fresh food. Can you help by contributing from your allowance?

This principle is absolutely important for our rejection-sensitive children. Shifting from blame to responsibility reduces paralyzing shame and lets children focus on how they can make things better.

5. Let your child speak.

Even if they are whiny or hormonal. Even if they cry and seem irrational. Even if they blame everything else under the sun for their behavior, you must let your child speak. Your job is to listen and validate.

Instead of: It’s not my fault you don’t get your homework done on time! If you can’t speak to me with respect, then I don’t want to speak to you at all.

Nonviolent reaction: I hear you saying you forget about your homework and could use a reminder. I also hear you saying that it’s challenging to focus on more work after school. Let’s come up with a plan so you don’t fall behind or feel overwhelmed.

Paraphrasing your child’s words is extremely important. It calms children when they hear their own words echoed back to them with understanding. It shows them that they are worthy — because they are — of being heard.

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Likewise, a steady mindfulness practice builds resilience by breathing life into three core principles: the importance of community support, cognitive training, and enduring education.

1. Foster Community

Perseverance and compassion take root when parents and other adults provide a stable emotional connection and model effective communication. This includes staying present with children, responding instead of reacting when triggered, and demonstrating empathy.

Free Download: Kid-Friendly Mindful Meditation Exercises

2. Train the Mind

Thanks to neuroplasticity, our brains change and adapt throughout our lives. Mindfulness practices, such as breathing exercises, strengthen brain skills like awareness, focus, and emotional regulation, making life’s frustrations easier to manage.

Contemplative practices are meant to be practiced, not used only in stressful moments. By integrating mind training into daily routines, children build the cognitive and emotional skills necessary for resilience; over time, these skills become instinctual.

3. Teach Wisdom and Compassion

To navigate complex social and emotional landscapes, you need two things: wisdom and compassion.

Wisdom, in this case, includes understanding how all things and people are interconnected. Caregivers model wisdom when they make choices in life that prioritize fulfillment, joy, and well-being. It can also be explored in guided discussions, problem-solving exercises, educational books and videos, and through meditation practice.

Caregivers nurture compassion when they encourage empathy and perspective taking, pointing out that no one is without struggles. When children learn to extend kindness to themselves and others, they develop a sense of connection and belonging.

Free Webinar Replay: “Nurturing Resilience and Motivation in Children with ADHD: The Search for ‘Islands of Competence’”

When adults demonstrate patience, active listening, and empathy, they help their children strengthen these abilities as well. In the process, children develop the understanding and sense of belonging that are needed to face adversity, while, at the same time, reinforcing their innate compassion.

By focusing on these three aspects of mindfulness, caregivers can help children develop the cognitive and emotional awareness needed to navigate their world with grace and persistence.

Building Resilience in Children: Next Steps

• Free Resource: Make Mindfulness Work For You
• Learn: Building Resilience Begins Here – Motivation Strategies for ADHD Families
• Read: How to Build Resilience by Learning to Hope

Mark Bertin, M.D., is a developmental pediatrician and author of How Children Thrive and Mindful Parenting for ADHD.(#CommissionsEarned)

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The habit of deliberate mind wandering may help explain heightened creativity in adults with ADHD traits, according to a new observational study presented at the recent European College of Neuropsychopharmacology Congress.¹ The study found that spontaneous, unintentional mind wandering, by contrast, may mediate the association between ADHD traits and functional impairments.

“The study indicates that different subtypes of mind wandering may influence individuals with ADHD in different ways,” the researchers explained in their conference abstract. “By exploring factors linking ADHD with both creativity and functional impairments, our study may open new avenues for fostering strengths and mitigating functional impairments in ADHD.”

Mind Wandering and Divergent Thinking: New Research

The research team conducted two studies, using two different groups of adult patients with ADHD symptoms, and controls, totaling 750 participants. Creativity, mind wandering, ADHD symptoms, and functional impairment were all self-reported and measured using various scales. In the second study, divergent thinking, one type of creative thinking, was assessed through a task that measures fluency, flexibility, and originality.

Divergent thinking refers to the ability to think of many ideas from a single starting point; it is believed to be strong in neurodivergent individuals. Divergent thinking tasks might include inventing creative new uses for everyday objects, or brainstorming new features for an innovative cell phone device. This stands in contrast to convergent thinking, another form of creativity, which is more goal-oriented, and not as commonly associated with ADHD symptoms.

Participants with more pronounced ADHD symptoms also reported higher levels of mind wandering, which the researchers said suggested mind wandering as a possible factor connecting ADHD and creativity.

“Mind wandering is heterogeneous, and can be deliberate or spontaneous,” explained Han Fang, a Ph.D. candidate from the Radboud University Medical Centre in the Netherlands, first author on the study. “Deliberate mind wandering is positive, and spontaneous may be related to impairments. We hope mindfulness can teach people how to capture spontaneous mind wandering and transfer it to deliberate mind wandering.”

Creativity and ADHD: Previous Research

Several studies have explored the complicated relationship between ADHD and creativity, with mixed results. It’s a challenging area of inquiry because there is no single way to measure both creativity and ADHD, and because confounding factors inevitably influence results.

In his review of the existing research on ADHD symptoms and creativity, Russell Barkley, Ph.D., emphasized the importance of noting whether the studies involve participants with ADHD diagnoses or those who self-report ADHD traits.

Generally speaking, studies involving participants with ADHD diagnoses have not found a correlation between an ADHD diagnosis and increased creativity.^{2, 3, 4} However, studies involving participants who report ADHD symptoms or traits, such as disinhibition and mind wandering, have found these traits associated with increased creativity.^{5, 6}

“It depends on how you measure ADHD,” Barkley said in a YouTube video. “And one must be able to control for various confounding factors if we’re going to get any meaningful results.”

One of the key confounding variables is IQ. It’s well-established that higher IQ is correlated with higher levels of creativity and, unless this is controlled for, it’s not possible to discern what effect this variable has on the relationship.

Embracing a Strengths-Based Approach

Regardless of research findings, many within the ADHD community argue that creativity is, indeed, an inarguable strength associated with neurodivergence.

“I think of creativity and ADHD as a Venn diagram,” said Holly White, Ph.D., a cognitive psychologist and faculty member at the University of Michigan, who has researched ADHD and creativity extensively. “There is a whole lot of creativity that has nothing to do with ADHD and a whole lot of ADHD stuff that has nothing to do with creativity, but there is an area where they overlap. Along with a whole lot of limitations, there are some traits and tendencies that tend to be higher in people with ADHD that facilitate a whole lot of good creative stuff.”

In the recent ADDitude webinar “All You Can Be with ADHD: How to Uplift Kids Who Think Differently,” Penn Holderness, author of ADHD is Awesome, spoke candidly about the influential role his sense of creativity has played in his life.

“I mess up a lot. I leave things everywhere. My executive functioning breaks down,” Holderness said. “My brain works differently — but that can be a gift. All of the issues with mental drift and even spacing out — this can lead to inspiration and creativity.”

He offered a suggestion for parents, teachers, or anyone who spends time with children who have ADHD. “If you see your kid doing something really creative, make sure and let them know, ‘Hey, this is special.’ Because the average ADHD child gets corrected 10,000 times. And I don’t think we’re giving them 10,000 compliments,” Holderness said. “I think even 100 compliments could make a big difference for some of these kids, who are feeling kind of beaten down by a world that wasn’t created for them.”

Sources

¹European College of Neuropsychopharmacology. “New research reveals how ADHD sparks extraordinary creativity.” ScienceDaily. ScienceDaily, 13 October 2025. www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2025/10/251012054608.htm.

²Hoogman M, Stolte M, Baas M, Kroesbergen E. Creativity and ADHD: A review of behavioral studies, the effect of psychostimulants and neural underpinnings. Neurosci Biobehav Rev. 2020 Dec;119:66-85. doi: 10.1016/j.neubiorev.2020.09.029. Epub 2020 Oct 6. PMID: 33035524.

³Healey D, Rucklidge JJ. An exploration into the creative abilities of children with ADHD. J Atten Disord. 2005 Feb;8(3):88-95. doi: 10.1177/1087054705277198. PMID: 16009657.

⁴Paek, S. H., Abdulla, A. M., & Cramond, B. (2016). A Meta-Analysis of the Relationship Between Three Common Psychopathologies—ADHD, Anxiety, and Depression—and Indicators of Little-c Creativity. Gifted Child Quarterly, 60(2), 117-133. https://doi.org/10.1177/0016986216630600 (Original work published 2016)

⁵White, H., & Shah, P. (2016). Scope of semantic activation and innovative thinking in college students with ADHD. Creativity Research Journal, 28(3), 275–282. https://doi.org/10.1080/10400419.2016.1195655

⁶Abraham, A., Windmann, S., Siefen, R., Daum, I., & Güntürkün, O. (2006). Creative Thinking in Adolescents with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). Child Neuropsychology, 12(2), 111–123. https://doi.org/10.1080/09297040500320691

RSD wouldn’t be RSD if it didn’t alter people’s perceptions. This is precisely how it functions and multiplies. A sideways glance or a mumbled response can trigger a misinterpretation that leads to an exaggerated response. Either way, with RSD, real or perceived rejection and disapproval cause extreme emotional pain.

When somebody fears rejection, they scan for signs of it everywhere. They misinterpret social cues, and then try to protect themselves by avoiding provocative situations. Curiously, they may even act in ways that increase the likelihood of rejection, assuming it’s inevitable.

If you are anticipating emotional upheaval at all times, your perception is bound to become distorted. Teens with ADHD are especially likely to misperceive situations and react strongly to events that may not truly warrant a response.

Follow these steps to help your teen understand and manage RSD.

Broaden the Scope

Approach your teen about RSD when she’s calm. Say, “I heard a talk about this thing that might be related to our family.” (If one family member has ADHD, chances are that others in your immediate family also have ADHD and could benefit from this information.)

Then explain that there is nothing wrong with feeling things deeply. When she feels pained by a situation, validate her feelings and ask questions. This will help her think critically about what happened and, perhaps, re-evaluate her sense of the situation.

Encourage her to discuss her thoughts with someone outside the situation who can offer a more neutral perspective.

Understand Triggers

To improve your teen’s ability to handle RSD, help her plan ahead:

• What situations trigger her, and how does she know she’s becoming upset?
• What are the signs of discomfort?
• What can she do to create distance and slow down when she feels upset? Perhaps go for a walk, take some deep breaths, or say a few calming phrases?

Support Working Memory

Individuals with strong working memory are less reactive to events and more capable of accurately assessing emotional situations than those with relatively weak working memory. Help your teen learn to externalize information, avoid multitasking, and repeat instructions back to you to build this skill. Work with her to recall successful responses to distressing situations from the past and brainstorm how to apply these in the present or the future.

This article was derived from the ADDitude ADHD Experts webinar, “Big Kids, Big Emotions: Helping Teens with ADHD and Rejection Sensitivity Improve Emotional Regulation [Video Replay & Podcast #563] with Sharon Saline, Psy.D., which was broadcast on June 11, 2025.

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